10 Easy Steps To Buying A New Mattress

You’ve decided to get to bed early. You unplugged all your devices, made the room temperature comfortable and turned off the lights.

An hour has passed and you’re still wide awake, tossing and turning in a modern reenactment of the Princess and the Pea. After a couple more turns, you managed to get to sleep – only to wake up feeling crappy with an aching body.

Getting a good night’s sleep isn’t just about proper sleep hygiene. The right mattress counts, too.

Now, if you are wondering how and where you should start, here are 10 easy steps to help you find the right mattress.

Check your mattress

Ideally, you should change your mattress every 9 to 10 years. However, if you are constantly waking up with pain in your lower back, neck and shoulders, you should make the replacement sooner.

The presence of lumps and sagging are telltale signs you need to buy a new mattress. Frequent sneezing, while you’re on your bed, is a bad sign, too. Household allergens can accumulate on your mattress over time and if you don’t act right away, you can end up with allergies that can give you more than just poor sleep.

Know what you want

There’s no universal rule when it comes to mattresses. You should stick with your own preference to ensure your comfort.

Take note of what you liked in your past beds and consider the things you didn’t find comfortable. This is particularly important, especially if you’ll be buying your mattress in a physical store. A lot of salespeople can talk you into buying the most expensive mattress that’s nowhere near comfortable.

Assess your sleeping style

One of the most important things you should consider when buying a new mattress is your sleeping style.

• If you are a side sleeper, you should find a mattress that can provide adequate support for your hips, shoulders and other pressure points.
• In case you are a back sleeper, the best mattress for you is one that can support the natural curve of your back and spine. When lying flat, you should be able to insert no more than one finger between the mattress and your back.
• For stomach sleepers, pick a mattress that can prevent your lower back and stomach from bending downward as it can cause tension and pain.

See Also: Do You Have The Right Mattress For Your Body Type?

Do your research

Before making a purchase, make sure you do your research first. Ask your friends and family about what type of mattress they are using and know their experiences. Check reviews online and see how well certain mattresses last. You can also visit manufacturer websites to know what materials they are using for their products.

Set a budget

The most expensive price tag doesn’t guarantee the highest comfort. In finding the best mattress, it’s actually more about your body type, sleeping style and preference.

You can find a lot of quality mattresses under $1000. Some of them are even priced lower. When shopping around, make sure you do your research first so you won’t fall victim to tempting sales pitch.

Shop around

Once you are done with your research, it’s time to explore. Go to local showrooms and browse mattresses online. Get a feel of the different brands and see what you like and don’t like. Take note of their prices as well as other information you might find important.

While shopping around, be careful not to make any commitment yet. You are likely to encounter a lot of salespeople but don’t feel pressured into making a purchase until you are ready and sure.

Take the time to test the mattresses

Your body needs at least 15 minutes to fully relax. Use this time to test each mattress.

Lie down on your typical resting position and see how well the mattress can support your body. Take note of the areas that are making you feel comfortable as well as the parts that are making you feel awkward. You shouldn’t experience any numbness or pain. Mattresses can be firm, soft, or in-between.

Don’t be afraid to ask

When you don’t have enough time to test all the mattresses or you just want to be clear about your choice, don’t hesitate to ask the salespeople. Although they are trying to make a sale, you can still get accurate information from them if you ask the right questions.

Take, for example, a mattress’ motion separation. You won’t be able to determine if a bed has good motion separation if you’re testing it out alone. The same goes for temperature regulation as well as a mattress’ foundation.

Read the fine print

Shopping for a good mattress doesn’t end with price or materials. You also have to be aware of the guarantees, returns and warranties. Be clear about what is and isn’t covered so you’ll know what to expect.

Keep your mattress in shape longer

Now that you’ve found the perfect mattress for you, protect and extend its life so you can have more nights of good sleep.

Here are some of the things you can do:

• Routinely clean your mattress at least twice a year by flipping and rotating it.
• Strip the cover of the bed and vacuum its fabric covering. Make sure to vacuum the entire surface area to ensure that there are no pet hair, dust or cracker crumbs left.
• If there are any stains, wash them with a mild detergent and water. You can also use an enzyme-based cleanser. Be careful not to saturate the mattress and make sure its’s completely dry before you make your bed.
• You can deodorize your mattress by sprinkling a bit of baking soda over it. Let it sit for a couple of hours before vacuuming.
• Expose your mattress to fresh air and sunlight. This is one good way to eliminate bacteria.
• Replace and wash your beddings once a week.
• Use a disinfecting spray on the mattress as well as the box spring to get rid of bad bacteria.
• Invest in a good mattress cover. It will protect your mattress from dirt and stains.

See Also: 10 Things You Never Knew About Bed Bugs

 

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How To Start A Cat Hotel

50 People Share What They’re Grateful to Do Every Day

At night, when you think about how you spent your day, how often do you focus on all the things you had to do?

I worked. I ran errands. I went to the gym. I made dinner.

And when you tell someone about this kind of day, how often do you do it with a less-than-enthused tone?

I suspect this is the norm for many of us, at least during the workweek.

Commitments, to work and family, can engulf our lives and seem like chores, not choices and chances.

I distinctly remember one day, years ago, when I was rushing from one obligation to the next, stopping to remind myself that I had chosen the schedule I was keeping.

I had chosen to get up early to write, to accept the job that supported me, to go to yoga in the evening, and to help a friend after that.

And I was fortunate to have had these choices to make.

These weren’t all things I had to do; these were things I got to do.

I got to devote time to my passion in the hours before my paid work, creating possibilities for my future.

I got to work a job that provided both pay and benefits, enabling me to take care of my needs, even if it wasn’t my dream career.

I got to stretch my healthy body and create mental stillness.

I got to see people I cared about and love them in action by being there for them.

And in between all these things I had consented to do were lots of other beautiful little things I got to do.

I got to wake up to sunlight coming through my window. I got to walk by interesting people, trees, and buildings on my way to work. I got to eat delicious food from various restaurants at lunch. And I got to use my hands when typing on my computer—hands I could have been born without, or could have lost to some type of injury or tragedy, but hadn’t.

I get to do a lot of things worth appreciating every day. We all do.

We all get to do things that challenge us, fulfill us, excite us, and energize us. We get to live, love, laugh, and explore in far too many ways too count.

Since I’ve long been inspired by this idea of focusing on what we get to do, I decided to include this as one of the prompts in my newly released gratitude journal.

I decided to share this particular prompt on Facebook this past Sunday to see how other people would respond.

Over 1,500 people chimed in, creating a monumental list of blessings, many of which we all share but could easily take for granted.

Since I was inspired and touched by the list, I decided to share a sampling here.

I Appreciate That Every Day I Get To…

Health

1. Shelley White: Breathe. I received donor lungs nine years ago after my own lungs failed. I have Cystic Fibrosis. Just being able to wake every day knowing I can spend another day with my family is what makes me grateful to be alive. I appreciate life.

2. Kristi VanTassel McHugh: Wake up. I had open-heart surgery nearly two years ago, to replace a faulty aortic valve and repair an aortic aneurysm. When I was first diagnosed, I was told, “If it’s not fixed soon (the aneurysm) it will burst and you will die.” That was two days before Christmas, and I waited just over six months for my surgery. I am thankful to still be here, every day.

3. GusandMaggie Nosce: Be alive. I was born a congenital heart patient (blue baby) and was advised I would need a heart transplant by the time I was four years old. By the grace of God, I have never needed one, even though the open-heart surgery I received when I was days old is no longer in practice and is no longer advised to perform.

4.Manal Khatib: I appreciate that I can walk after a serious car accident eight months ago. Every day I had to relearn how to walk. This journey has made me appreciate my body and treat it with kindness.

5. Laina Amarantinis: Walk and stand. After three spine surgeries I am finally able to walk and stand more and more as the healing progresses. I am very thankful.

6. Mary Beth Hudson:Spend time with my family. I beat my battle with cancer; others in my family were not so lucky.

7. Linda Otto: Move my body. I can walk, run, lift, bend, etc., all with ease. This is not possible for many people. It can be taken away in an instant or gradually as we age. Your health, eyesight, hearing are never appreciated enough.

Family

 8. Anna Hunt: Spend time with my daughter. Soon she will be off to college and I won’t have her close. Hearing her laughter, knowing she’s in the next room, fills my heart with warmth. I appreciate that every day I get to see her.

9. Amy Albinger: Be with my family. Be with my parents, my husband, my sister, and niece. They are the reason I live today. They are my reason to get through each struggle. They are my definition of love.

10. Riddhi Solanki: I appreciate that I get calls from my parents and friends, as my current job isn’t in my hometown. They call me and talk to me so I don’t feel any more left alone.

11. Niquita LeValdo: I wake up to my child. He was born with a heart condition and needed surgery at two months old. The thought that he may not have been alive today gives me a new perspective and helps me appreciate every moment. Love your children, praise them, cherish them.

12. Lillivette Colón:‪ Keep my baby in my tummy one more day. Every day is victory.

‪13. Tezra Blake:‪ I appreciate every day I get to see and hear both my sons growing into awesome men, and that they aren’t ashamed to say I love you mom and check on me and ask how I am doing. Despite their age they still want my opinion on things.

‪14. Laurel Hausafus:‪ Have the memories of my sweetheart and husband in Heaven .

15. Cheryle Midgett: Spend another day with my ninety-four-year-old mom.

16. Anika Bruce:‪ Every day I get to hug my family. I love hugs, they’re life changing.

17. Nicole Werner-Sayre:‪ Stay at home to raise the tiny little human I created and help her grow up into a person I’ll be proud to add to the world.

18. Laurie Clemons: Give a hug and say I love you. We all need to hear it more.

19. Dawn Creason: I get to read and cuddle with the most precious little girl that I never thought I would have. I get to hear her giggle and I get to play with her.

20. Fiona James: Wake up happy and healthy with my wonderful family. Too many people don’t have that luxury. Thank you for reminding me how blessed my life is. 

“Little” Things

21. Elizabeth Sherriff: Have a roof over my head, fresh water, food, and a family around me.

22. Kathy Kellermann: Have a warm shower and a bed to climb into (especially in the middle of winter).

‪23. Jessica Grandelli‪: Eat food that nourishes and sustains my life. It is a privilege to live in a place with bountiful food.

24. Jacinta Harrington: Enjoy a cup of coffee while reading the newspaper.

25. Caroline Driver: Eat whatever I want and drink water straight out of the tap

26. Marsha Frakes Waggoner: Walk outdoors in the grass with my dog and see trees.

27. Heather Demick: Drink in the world through my eyes.

28. Yvonne Hernandez: Have a place I call home.

29. Alice Louise Pocock: Listen with my ears, see with my eyes, and love with all my heart.

‪30. Xuandai Hoang‪: Sit in front of my candle and relax.

31. Enchari Rivadeneira: Dishes. It means I have food, a kitchen, a family to share with, and I did it. I made through another day, whatever happened. It’s a beautiful thing, dishes.

32. Chloe Cunningham Sarno: Finish all the housework all in the same day. Ah clean house!!

33. Tammy Pillsbury: Lay my head down knowing I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a job that rewards me, a husband that loves me, friends and family whom I love, nature outside my door.

34. Michael Bell: Read. There is no aspect of life that I have derived more benefit and pleasure from, and I couldn’t imagine my life without it.

35. Danielle Yingling-Lowrey: Be with my babies, take care of my flowers, cook, drink coffee, be a friend, be a neighbor, be mama, be a daughter, be a wife, drive my car, take care of my house, giggle, laugh, read, smile at others…. so many things!

36. Nicola Wood: Wake up and just be me and appreciate how blessed I truly am!

37. Steve Kenney: Not feel the pain of starving, the pain of extreme thirst. Having a roof over my head, and AC. Having a few people who really care about me for me, not what I can do or give them. Not suffering from bad health. That’s it. Everything else is inconsequential.

Possibilities

38. Gena Pegg: I appreciate that every day I get another chance to do the right thing.

39. Bani San: I appreciate that every day I get to wake up in freedom and pursue whatever life I dream of.

40. Jayne Duncan Stites: I appreciate that every day I get to begin again anew!

41. Jim Zei: Have another opportunity to make things right—whatever right is.

42.Lechenda Crichton: Have one more chance to be better than I was yesterday.

43. Sherelle Myers: Use my body and working limbs for whatever I choose!

44. Angela Charlwood-Derbyshire:‪ Practice making better choices.

45. Linda May Knowles: To learn from the mistakes I made the day before.

46. Wizz Tomo: I appreciate that every day I get to learn new things.

47. Ashley Glenn: To be alive and experience whatever the new day presents.

48. Amy Brock: Breathe and do normal activities of daily living. There was a time that I couldn’t do such a great job of either.

‪49. Herb Daum‪: I appreciate that every day I get to make the world a kinder place.

50. Melissa Milligan: Be here. Not everyone made it through the night. Be grateful you’re still here.

I appreciate that every day I get to…

How would you finish this sentence?

You can read more about Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal (which includes 15 coloring pages) on Amazon here. If you already have a copy, I’d very much appreciate a short review! 

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About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha and Recreate Your Life Story, an online course that helps you let go of the past and live a life you love. Her latest bookTiny Buddha's Gratitude Journal, which includes 15 coloring pages, is now available for purchase. For daily wisdom, follow Tiny Buddha on Twitter, Facebook & Instagram..

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Red Flags: When To Start Giving Up On Relationships

Falling in love with someone can be a wonderful experience. As you learn about one another, you begin to see new ways of learning and experiencing life. There is little that disrupts the flow of a newly budding relationship and it is easy to become swept away by the attraction.

However, once you have settled into your role as a partner, the attraction and adoration may no longer enough. You will face the challenge of working out problems. Unfortunately, some couples never recover from the hardships of learning how to compromise and growing together.

So, how do you know when it’s time to start giving up on relationships?

There isn’t enough quality time

You or your partner is seeking pleasure and satisfaction outside of the relationship.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a couple having different interests. In fact, two people in a healthy relationship should have experiences that they enjoy independently as well as together.  The struggle comes when one or both of the partners begin to seek enjoyment outside of the relationship at all times.

While this may seem like an insignificant problem, the lack of quality time spent together can compromise the health of the relationship in the long run.

Be sure to balance the time you spend doing what you love and the time you spend with your partner. If you find yourself relieved when you are not around your partner, it may be time to reconsider the future of the relationship.

The relationship is experiencing unfaithfulness

Unfaithfulness is like a wound that is unable to properly heal. There may be forgiveness and closure, but the harm the action caused will never fully disappear. All that may be left is a scar and there will always be evidence of the hurt.

Infidelity is commonly referred to as “cheating” and typically includes any sexual relationship outside of two exclusive partners. Cheating or infidelity, however, can also present as emotional or visual. If you find yourself looking at others for visual pleasure or you experience an emotional connection with another person that should only exist within your relationship, you may need to take the time to reflect on your relationship.

You become uncomfortable as a couple in social settings

If one or both of you are visibly uncomfortable when you are in public together, something is probably wrong.

This does not necessarily mean the end of the relationship. It may simply mean that there is a problem that needs to be addressed.

But, if one of you is intentionally avoiding the other when you’re with friends and family, the problem may have deeper roots. It may be the right time to talk it out with your partner and reevaluate things.

See Also: I’m Saying Thanks For Breaking My Heart

There are red flags of abuse

If you are harming your partner intentionally, either by words or by actions, then the health of your relationship is already diminishing. If your partner is doing things with the intent to harm you, it is time to walk away. No loving or healthy relationship comes with the intention to harm.

There may be times when a person does something that hurts the one he loves the most, but if this hurt has progressed to intentional, hurtful behavior, it is better to just walk away. Talk to local resources offering help for dating or domestic abuse. The trained individuals in these institutions may be able to provide you with a clearer answer about the abuse you are experiencing.

You and your partner are traveling in very different directions

Lastly, no matter how much time has passed since you decided to become an exclusive couple, life can still lead you to two separate directions. Differences in passions, desires and hopes for the future often spell the end of a relationship.

Healthy couples either work through these differences or mutually decide to end their partnership. Other couples have difficulty with this process and the ending of the relationship can be quite ugly. But, regardless of how messy it may look, it is important to know who you are and what you want. Your joy in life, no matter what you are doing, is what you pass on to the people around you and to your children.

Is staying with this person going to uplift you and encourage you to continue seeking joy? Or is staying with this person going to bring you down and discourage you from going after what you desire out of life?

Remember, it is never too late to walk away. Some of the best and healthiest relationships involve people who never give up and continue to grow with one another. If only one person is choosing to grow, change and move forward, is the relationship going in the right direction?

See Also: Leave The Past Behind: 6 Ways To Learn The Art Of Un-Loving

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Think You’re Not Good Enough? How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself

“Stop holding yourself back. If you aren’t happy, make a change.” ~Unknown

Growing up in a culture where physical beauty determines how successful you are in finding a job, a suitable husband, and a promising career, and most importantly, bringing honor to your family reputation, I was a disappointment to my family, especially to my mother.

She was the definition of a perfect beauty—5’6″, slim, big eyes, high-bridged nose, perfect skin, and gifted with charisma. I was the opposite.

As I got older, my mother’s negative words got louder and louder. They were a constant reminder that I wasn’t good enough; I was useless and ugly, and nobody would love me because of the way I looked. I was excluded from all of our family trips and left alone in the house for days with my grandmother. Because of how I was treated, I started to believe that I would be a loser for life.

At twenty-nine I thought I was healed, until one phone call changed everything and forced me to re-evaluate what I believed about myself.

I got a job offer to oversee one of the biggest commercial real estate investors in North America. The job consisted of creating twenty-two financial budget packages in three months, while convincing the client to sign a two-year deal with the company and restructuring the entire accounting department.

I was convinced that I could not do this job, despite all the encouragement I received from my husband and best friend. I knew it would be a great opportunity for me to advance in my career, but I wanted to turn it down because I believed wasn’t smart enough and thought there were better candidates out there.

We all grow up with both positive and negative memory banks, with one being larger than the other, thanks to our parents and the environment we were raised in. As we get older we add to our memories through our life experiences. Every time we encounter situations we’re not prepared for, we refer to our memories to support our decision making.

Mine was full of “You cannot do well in this position,” “You don’t have enough knowledge,” “Other candidates are smarter than you,” “You cannot wear these clothes since you don’t have the body for it,” “You need to wear more make-up,” and the list goes on. So it was hard for me to seriously consider seizing this opportunity.

After much consideration, I decided to sleep on it. The next day, I looked back at everything I’d done so far in my life and realized that if I kept holding myself back, I’d never get to where I wanted to be. Happiness would never become a reality for me. I knew I didn’t want to live a life of “what if.”

I decided to accept the job, and three months later, I submitted twenty-two financial budgets on time, got that two-year agreement signed, and completed the restructuring three months after.

Here’s what I learned along the way. If you’re holding yourself back, like I formerly did, this may help.

1. Change your attitude to reflect what you want to become.

Your attitude will either move you forward or backward. It’s greatly affected by what you believe, since what you believe determines the decisions you make. Your beliefs largely stem from your past—what people said and did to you and what you concluded those experiences meant about you.

Become aware of what people told you when you were a child and ask yourself if those statements were actually true. Study your accomplishments and your environment, go over what you have done so far and see if they align with the accused statements.

Here’s what I discovered when I did this exercise:

Untrue fact number one: I was ugly. And yet people outside my family have complimented me on my looks. At first it was hard for me to believe the compliments were genuine. However, as I observed and listened to the actions and words that followed, I realized that I am not ugly, as my mother led me to believe. We’re all beautiful in our own way, and the beauty on the inside is more valuable than what’s on the outside.

Untrue fact number two: I was stupid and not good enough, unlike my siblings. And yet I graduated with a business degree from a reputable school, went on to get an accounting designation, and now work as a Manager of Business Solutions for one of the biggest commercial real estate companies in North America.

Untrue fact number three: I was useless. And yet every two years, I would travel back to my home country and help the elderly, who were abandoned by their families, with the essentials they need to survive. I also donated money to rebuild old temples so monks and nuns can continue their studies and have a safe haven away from home—all with my own money.

These are just some of my personal experiences. Write yours down and use them to shed any negative beliefs that don’t fit into your present situation. You don’t necessarily need to get rid of every belief right away, but start with something, no matter how small it may seem, so you can start letting go of your past traumas.

2. You know more than you think.

Stop selling yourself short by saying, “I don’t know” and instead say, “I will figure it out,” and ask yourself “How can I do this better?”

You have the ability to ask for help and connect yourself to the right resources as part of your self-development journey so you can become more, know more, and prepare for the challenges ahead.

The moment I decided to accept the job, I knew that I didn’t know everything, but I also knew I had the ability to reach out and get all the tools I needed to complete the project.

3. Let people in.

I started to believe in myself when I decided to surround myself with the right friends and mentors, both from work and at home. I opened up to them about how I felt, what I wanted to improve, and how I wanted to move forward from there.

I believe that having the right people behind you is one of the most critical parts of forming self-belief. That may seem counter-intuitive, since self-belief comes from inside, but it’s easier to develop confidence when we have people in our lives who believe in us and motivate us to go after the things that will make us happy.

Don’t be afraid to reach out to those you feel comfortable with and let them in on what you’re going through. When you believe in yourself enough to reach out to others, trusting that you’re worthy of their support, you will become a magnet for opportunities that you never thought were possible for you. Take a chance, be honest, and life will surprise you.

4. See obstacles as opportunities.

Life will never stop throwing obstacles at you, no matter how much you try to avoid them. Instead of running from them, learn to see them as opportunities to make what you currently have better.

I used to throw in the towel the moment there was a problem or a glitch in my life and my job. These days, I ask myself, “What are these problems going to teach me? What is life trying to tell me? What are the lessons I’m about to discover?”

Obstacles are there to show you new lessons. The message behind them will only be revealed to those who work hard to overcome them.

What I have learned after successfully completing the project for my new job is that I can do practically anything if I give myself a chance and time to learn and grow. By giving myself a chance in this job, I learned how to approach people better and how to get things done faster, more effectively, and more efficiently.

5. Do not allow defeat to win over triumph.

Remember in the beginning when I said we all have a memory bank? There are two kinds of memory banks. One is “Defeat” and the other is “Triumph.” In the first you store all your memories of things you believe you haven’t done well; in the second, memories of times when you’ve succeeded.

Everything you’ve ever experienced lives in one of these memory banks, which you will withdraw from in the future to inform your decisions. Your choice will inform your habits and behavior, which ultimately dictate your success and happiness.

Be mindful and guard your mind carefully so you don’t allow yourself to withdraw from your “defeat bank account.” I didn’t, and that was what saved me at the end.

6. Embrace mistakes as teachers.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Mistakes are part of life. I have learned to love tem. Though I don’t look to make mistakes often, they are my teachers in growth and self-improvement.

During my first job after graduation, I was friendly with a few people. We would have lunch together and share our thoughts on the company and our jobs.

Later on, they used the information I shared against me later. Thankfully, I didn’t lose my job, but it definitely hurt my chances for future promotions within the company.

Looking back, I’m glad I went through that early in my career, as it set a strong foundation for how I now interact with colleagues, which helps with my professional achievement7. Don’t give up just because things get hard.

If you really want something, you have to be prepared to seize opportunities, work hard for it, and never give up.

There were many times during my new job when I wanted to walk over to my boss’ office and give my resignation because every day it was a struggle to get just one thing done. However, deep down I knew that if I quit and went back to my old job, I would live an unhappy, unsatisfying, and regretful life.

Of course, that doesn’t mean you should never quit anything. You need to set goals that align with your values. If your values change along the way, as we all know may happen as we get older, it is okay to give them up and embark on a new journey. Knowing what you really want will help you determine when to give up and move forward, and when to stick to your guns.

—

You have the power to overcome the limiting beliefs that stop you from realizing your full potential and creating happiness. It starts with the choice to stop giving them power and start seizing new opportunities.

About Kolyanne Russ

Kolyanne Russ is the founder of Pinch of Attitude, a blog that focuses on attitude-building, self-improvement, and lifestyle design. She helps people draw an action plan to achieve a balance between success and happiness. Her goal is to share her personal experiences to help others build the life of their dreams and experience happiness in every area of their life.

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How To Make The Gig Economy Work For You

Fifty years ago, the expectation was that you would be in the same job until you retire. Today, 34% of the U.S. workforce are freelancers and that number is expected to reach 43% by 2020.

The shift is being driven by a few different factors.

First, the economy has been slow to recover since the Great Recession that started back in 2007. People have had to figure out how to survive in a terrible job market. But, now that the economy is recovering, people are finding that they prefer the flexibility and independence that comes with being their own boss.

According to Forbes, there are lots of reasons for the projected growth in the freelance lifestyle:

• Workers who enjoy pension plans in private companies in the US have declined alarmingly from 60% in 1982 to a mere 14% today. That’s much less people getting their retirement money and financial security from private US firms.
• Average rental costs increased by 13% in the US and yet median family income went down by 8% from 2000 to 2012. This means less buying power despite increased cost of living.
• According to the popular platform LinkedIn, the average length of time that people are unemployed is more than 25 weeks. This has propelled people looking for jobs into the freelance market.
• A study by two Oxford professors showed that developments in automation and computerization will put approximately 47% of jobs in the US at risk in the next 20 years. This is projected to affect workers in transportation, logistics, office and administration, and production.

Freelancing is an attractive option for people in all stages of life.

For younger workers, it can give you the flexibility to work whatever schedule suits your lifestyle. Older workers may find that they can have more creative control of their careers. Parents, on the other hand, can schedule work times around family needs.

The freedom and flexibility that come with freelancing have numerous benefits to people in all stages of life.

Freelancing is not without drawbacks, however. Getting and keeping clients, meeting deadlines and paying the bills is all on you:

• You’ll have to pay your payroll taxes, an additional tax burden above what you pay as an employee of a firm.

• With no matching funds from an employer, you’ll have to save for retirement.

• You’ll have to purchase and pay for your own health insurance.

How To Succeed As A Freelancer

There are lots of habits you can put into practice if you want to be successful in the gig economy. Here are a few examples:

• Maintain a current portfolio so you aren’t scrambling to put together work samples when a potential client asks.

• Maintain a website and social media presence so you’ll look like an engaged professional.

• Keep your professional business cards handy because you’ll never know when you might meet a potential client.

• Always complete work on time as agreed. Your reputation is at stake!

• Create contracts so that all terms are known and agreed upon.

• Maintain relationships with past clients. They are more likely to give you repeat business and recommend you to other potential clients

See Also: 5 Freelancing Tips That Will Make you Successful

Forbes points to the rapid rise of part-time freelancers as a big contribution to the rise of the gig economy. LinkedIn has seen a 100% increase of members adding freelance work to their profiles in the last 5 years.

Says Walker: “This is a way for (professionals) to take matters into their own hands and proactively have more control over their professional lives.”

Even if you have a full-time job, with wage stagnation, chances are you are still struggling. Working part time in the gig economy has become a popular option for many people, supplementing their incomes, giving them real world experience and allowing them the freedom to pursue creative jobs they otherwise might not get to do.

Freelancing isn’t for the faint of heart, but it can be a totally liberating experience if you put your mind to it. There are many benefits to the lifestyle and they can really make all the difference in your life. Cutting your commute, for example, could prevent you from having a heart attack or stroke, according to some studies! Learn more about the rise of the gig economy from this infographic!

See Also: 10 Ways Your Life Improves When You Become a Freelancer

Inforgraphic by JOBVINE

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Leaping into the Unknown: Why We Don’t Always Need a Plan

“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens.” ~Mandy Hale

Wake up.

Wish I could go back to sleep.

Get up and ready for work. Tell myself that today I’ll leave earlier but then leave the same time as usual.

Walk to work. Pass all the same people I did yesterday. At the same time.

Arrive at work. Listen to the same people complaining about the same things. Complain about the same things myself.

Teach my classes. Tell people off for being late—the same people as yesterday and the day before that.

Go home. Try to work toward my dream life. Collapse from exhaustion after about half an hour and wonder what the point is.

Go to bed. Cry lots. Hope that I don’t wake up in the morning.

Wake up again and repeat.

This was my routine for a good number of months before I finally couldn’t take it anymore.

Did I have the world’s worst job? No, not really. Did I live in a hell hole? Not at all. In fact, you could probably say that I didn’t have any problems, yet I was possibly more miserable than I’d ever been.

I couldn’t believe it. How had I ended up like this? I’d tried so hard to change my life. I’d meditated, done yoga, followed my dreams, made a vision board, and bought lots of self-help books. I’d even read them, too!

What more was a girl supposed to do? Why wasn’t my life changing?

I desperately wanted to leave my job, but couldn’t. I wouldn’t have the money to pay the rent. I wanted to leave my apartment but I had nowhere to go. Not unless I went to stay with my mother and, I couldn’t do that—not at my age!

So I plodded on, I tried to be a good ‘spiritual’ person and accept my life as it was. I tried to make the best of things. And sometimes, it worked, but not for long.

Eventually the feelings of dissatisfaction would return. The feeling of helplessness. Feeling stuck. Wanting to escape.

But there was no way out. I’d be repeating this day forever. And ever.

Let It Go

Around this time, I was reading a lot about how we need to close one door before another can open. I was also seeing colleagues leave work to pursue a life of their dreams.

Rather than giving me hope, this made me feel more downhearted. It was all right for them; they had money, a partner, a new job, or an already-up-and-running business.

I was all alone. I was broke. I had no husband to support me. No rich relatives to bail me out.

Everything I’d done to try to make a living out of work that I loved had already failed. I didn’t even know what I wanted anymore. I just knew I didn’t want what I had.

I’d get irritated when I’d read about how I had to simply quit my job, how I had to follow my heart. What if my heart was only telling me what I didn’t want? What if it was refusing to tell me what was next?

What if I closed one door and the other one got stuck?

What then?

I was so afraid of what would happen, I held on for months, hoping for an answer to drop out of the sky.

Until the pain of staying where I was suddenly became too much to bear. I couldn’t take it anymore. Suddenly, what happened next didn’t matter.

I didn’t care.

I saw the madness of what I was doing: staying in a job I didn’t want to do, to live in an apartment that I didn’t want to live in, to stay in an area that I didn’t particularly like. Just to survive. And even surviving wasn’t much fun.

So I surrendered. I did what I’d felt called to do all along: I said goodbye to the security I’d been clinging to. With no idea of what was coming next. With no income and little money. And no idea where I was going to live.

But as soon as I made my decision, I felt a huge sense of relief. I wondered what had taken me so long.

Of course, it wasn’t long until the fear crept back in. I had moments when I wondered what I was doing and how I would survive.

But even in those moments of doubt, there was a knowing that leaving my present situation was the right thing to do.

All my life, I’d put survival first. Now it was time to put myself first.

My happiness. My sanity. My peace of mind.

The worst-case scenario may not be so bad. In fact, it might be quite good.

I was lucky. I was never going to be out on the streets. I knew I had the option of returning to stay with my mother until I sorted myself out. But I really didn’t want to do that. I was far too old for that now.

Besides, that would mean living in a town far away from anywhere, with no transport of my own. I’d be so lonely. I’d have even less chance of finding work I loved. I’d be even more stuck!

Despite my best hopes that something else would magically turn up, I indeed ended up returning home. I tried telling myself it would be fine, but the scary thoughts were still lurking.

However, within a couple of weeks of the move, I saw the new path begin to emerge—chance meetings with like-minded people, work opportunities in unexpected places, community events where I thought there’d be none.

And for the first time in months, I actually felt happy. Because for the first time in my life, I was truly putting myself first. And I was truly living in the present. Survival was no longer the name of the game. My own peace of mind and happiness was.

When the pain of being where you are is too much to handle, when life is shoving you in the direction of the unknown, dare to trust it.

As I said, I was lucky. I know not everybody can do exactly as I did. Not everyone has someone who can help them out while they make a drastic life change.

I also know how annoying it can be to be told to change your life when you simply don’t see how. But the point here isn’t to do what I did, but to let go where you can even if you have to face your own worst-case scenario.

When you begin to take care of yourself, when you follow what feels good for you and put your own physical and mental health first, you’ll find the path will begin to open up. You’ll find support from unexpected places.

You may even find that your worst case scenario turns out to be the best thing you could have hoped for.

What I’ve learned is that having a plan is overrated. Sometimes we really do need to let go and see what happens next.

About Louise Watson

Louise Watson is a meditation teacher and writer who offers a range of classes designed to meet different needs, lifestyles and locations. Her classes are mainly taught over Skype and include a variety of techniques, ensuring you find a practice that works for you.You can find out more and read her words of wisdom at www.louisemwatson.com.

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6 Simple Habits For More Productivity, Happiness And Fulfillment

Research tells us that willpower is like a muscle. You can work on making it stronger, but you can’t keep it flexed forever.

In other words:

Willpower is a limited resource.

There’s no better use of one’s willpower than on forming the right habits. The right habits serve as the bridge between where you are and where you want to be. Once those habits are formed, you don’t have to exert willpower on them anymore. Your journey towards success is effectively put on autopilot.

Try and adopt at least one of the following six productivity habits and reap the fruits of increased happiness and fulfillment.

Join the 5 a.m. club

“Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise”

– Ben Franklin

Waking up early is a habit common among the world’s highest achievers. Theodore Roosevelt, Benjamin Franklin, Ernest Hemingway, Immanuel Kant and Thomas Jefferson are all examples of men who were early risers.

Turns out:

Several studies have correlated waking up early with success.

In a 2008 Texas University study, college students who woke up earlier earned a higher point than those who study and sleep late (3.5 vs. 2.5).

Also, Harvard biologist Christoph Randler found that early risers are more proactive and more likely to respond positively to statements like “I spend time identifying long-range goals for myself” and “I feel in charge of making things happen.”

And if that isn’t enough, psychology research also tells us that early risers are happier and healthier than night-owls.

When you wake up early, there are less distractions and more time for you to focus on planning your day and doing what needs to get done.

Check out this actionable guide to discover how to burst out of bed every single morning.

Meditate Daily

“The thing about meditation is: You become more and more you.”

– David Lynch

After interviewing more than 200 world-class performers like Jamie Foxx, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Amelia Boone for his podcast (The Tim Ferris Show), Tim found that the most consistent habit among his guests was some form of daily meditation or mindfulness practice.

Meditation is a practice that is a thousand years old. Only recently has science begun to discover the profound effects that it has on the brain.

A group of Harvard-affiliated researchers reported that, over time, meditation can increase the brain’s gray matter. This is the region of your brain associated with decision-making.

What is life but a sum total of your decisions?

If something as simple as 10 minutes of daily meditation can improve the quality of your decisions, imagine what it can do for your overall quality of life.

Meditation has also been shown to reduce stress, improve concentration, increase self-awareness, slow down aging and increase happiness. It’s a habit that can improve every area of your life.

Don’t know where to start? Check out this beginner’s guide to meditation.

See Also: Benefits Of Meditation: How You Can Change Your Life In 10 Minutes

Read for 30 Minutes Everyday

“Employ your time in improving yourself by other men’s writings, so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for.”

– Socrates

I compare reading to taking the red pill because it’s what snapped me out of the matrix of societal conditioning. Reading the works of great men and women showed me the extent of what’s really possible.

When we hear about Richard Branson in the media, we see him as the cool and suave, self-made billionaire. However, when you read his autobiography, you’ll learn about the mistakes he made, the obstacles he overcame and the lessons he learned. It has a sort of humanizing effect on him and you’ll realize that what one man can do, another can do as well.

Expose yourself to a wide variety of books and ideas to develop a dynamic and empowered perspective on life.

Need help getting started? Check out this step-by-step guide on how to read more.

Practice Gratitude

“Gratefulness is a higher organ of perception, through which you can accurately appreciate a fundamental truth: the universe works in mysterious ways, and you’re the constant beneficiary of its generosity.”

– Phil Stutz

Practicing gratitude teaches us to love the life we have while in pursuit of the life we want.

It’s human nature to compare ourselves to those who have more than us. But, when we realize the simple miracles of everyday life (e.g. access to clean water, the ability to walk, a warm bed to sleep in, etc.), it puts things in perspective.

The power of gratitude has been demonstrated in multiple studies. Here’s one that I like in particular:

Researchers brought participants into a lab and asked them to write a few sentences each week focused on a particular topic. One group wrote about the things they were grateful for while the other wrote about daily irritations or things that displeased them.

After about 10 weeks, the participants that wrote down what they were grateful for were more optimistic, felt better about their lives, exercised more and visited their physicians less.

Practicing gratitude literally changes your brain and makes you a happier and more fulfilled person. Make it a habit to write down 5 things that you’re grateful for every single day.

Skip Breakfast

“Since I’ve started intermittent fasting I’ve increased muscle mass, decreased body fat, increased explosiveness, and decreased the amount of time I’ve spent training.”

– James Clear

This habit might come as a shock to you. After all, we’ve all heard that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. This idea, however, is quickly being laid to rest as the benefits of intermittent fasting have become too many to ignore.

See Also: Breaking the Fast: What I Have Learned Using Intermittent Fasting

Did you know that digestion is actually one of your body’s most complicated and intensive functions? That’s right.

By skipping breakfast, you extend your overnight fast and allow your body to focus its resources on other important tasks, like controlling blood sugar and facilitating cellular recovery.

Furthermore, a short-term fast can boost testosterone and growth hormone levels. These two factors can seriously enhance your progress when trying to lean down.

Intermittent fasting (IF) is not a diet. It is a pattern of eating. To get started with IF, you only have to follow one rule:

Eat within a 6-8 hour window.

So, if you wake up at 8 a.m., simply skip breakfast and have your first meal between 12-2 p.m. Have your final meal between 8-10 p.m. It’s as simple as that. For a more intensive resource for, you can check out James Clear’s guide.

Since adopting IF, my productivity has also shot up. My body is not involved in digestion and I find myself more focused on work. By the time I have my first meal, I’ve already gotten so much work done that the rest of the day is pretty much just a bonus.

Make Your Bed

“If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.”

– U.S. Navy Adm. William H. McCraven

Making your bed in the morning will set the tone for the rest of your day. As the first task of the day, it will set the momentum for your next set of tasks. By the end of the day, it will be like a domino effect that has carried over.

As McCraven mentions in his University of Texas commencement speech:

“Making your bed will reinforce the fact that the little things in life matter. If you can’t do the little things right, you’ll never be able to do the big things right. And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made – that you made. And a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better.”

 

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Staying Out Of Debt: 3 Money Habits You Should Be Doing

Falling into debt is easy. Repaying that debt is much harder.

A recent study found that more than a third of all Americans have personal debt that’s at least 180 days past due. While occasional overspending is common, most of these people see debt as a part of their lifestyle.

Debt can pile up for a number of reasons, but it’s particularly problematic when people make major purchases without concern for the consequences. Whether it’s buying a new flat-screen TV for the big game or committing to a costly vacation rental with friends, this you-only-live-once attitude can create major problems.

Once debt piles up, the interest payments and fees alone can be enough to cripple even the most responsible borrower. It’s a tough challenge, but the incentives for battling back to “even”- or avoiding debt in the first place- are tremendous.

Debt Is a Dirty Word

Carrying too much debt in relation to your income goes beyond making it a challenge to pay bills. It can also lower your credit score.

Late or skipped payments can make matters even worse. When you become a bad credit risk, it will become more difficult and expensive for you to borrow in the future. Lenders will look for any reason to be leery of an application so you could end up paying much higher interest rates. Skip enough payments and you could end up in court or dealing with the repo men.

But, it isn’t only lenders who look at credit scores. Cable and utility companies use them to vet potential customers, too. Landlords can sometimes consult your credit score to find out how reliable you will be about paying your rent. Anyone who thinks you’re a credit risk could charge you with a higher rate or deny you services altogether.

Some employers consult credit scores before making hiring decisions. Your resume might get your foot in the door, but your credit score could torpedo your chance of earning money to repay your debt.

The main reason to avoid being a chronic debtor is that it makes you feel crummy about yourself. People often lie about how much credit card debt they have. And these aren’t little white lies. We’re talking under-reporting to the tune of about $400 million. When confronted about those lies, people admit they feel a social stigma about having a hefty credit card debt.

3 Tactics to Manage Debt During Major Purchases

Staying out of debt isn’t as much fun as getting into it, but it’s important to think ahead when making any major purchase. With proper discipline and three simple habits, just about anyone can avoid debt while enjoying the finer things in life.

Buy only what you can afford

To determine what big purchases you can afford, create a monthly budget. First, calculate how much after-tax income you earn each month. Once you have that figure, add up the expenses you must pay on a regular basis. These are your “needs.”

Those needs should include your rent or mortgage, car loans, credit card debt and student loans. You can also include utilities, grocery bills and any other routine payments you make in this list. If a bill varies from month to month, such as groceries or utilities, average out your past three bills to create a ballpark figure.

Subtract your needs from your income and you’re left with a pot of discretionary money. As long as your basic needs are covered on a monthly basis, you can feel comfortable socking away that leftover money for big purchases.

Maintain multiple accounts

Consider maintaining separate accounts for different areas of your budget. You can have one for your living expenses, one for utilities and another for groceries. This will allow you to not exceed your monthly budget for each category while carefully tracking your spending patterns in various areas.

If you have a big purchase on the horizon, open a separate account to save toward your goal. You might set up an automatic withdrawal from each paycheck that deposits a small amount of money directly into that account. Once you hit your budgeted goal, you can feel go ahead and make that purchase.

See Also: Saving Money Basics: How to Build a Solid Savings Fund

Think outside the bank

It’s important to give yourself incentives for meeting financial goals. You can also consider tying big purchases to life goals.

For example, you could reward yourself with a new pair of running shoes if you’re able to commit to visiting the gym at least 15 times in the next month. Or, if you desperately want to visit Japan, task yourself with becoming conversational in Japanese before you can spend a dime on travel.

This approach ensures you’re truly committed to your big purchase before you rack up any debt. Plus, it gives you ample time to set aside money for those expenses. Make sure your goals are measurable and tangible so you can definitively know when it’s time to loosen the purse strings.

Conclusion

Used responsibly, credit cards are amazing tools that allow people to cover expenses when they’re short on funds. But, when debt lingers, it can work against you.

See Also: 9 Valuable Credit Card Perks

By planning ahead, you can make big purchases without taking on insurmountable debt. Whether you want a new car or an upgraded smartphone, managing your money is less about what you want today as it is about making sure you can pay for what you need tomorrow.

 

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My Proactive 8-Part Plan for Beating Anxiety and Negativity

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I’m on a much needed and looked forward to vacation with family whom I love dearly, and yet I’m entering the belly of the whale. Perhaps it was triggered by my habit of making sure everyone is okay and having a good time. Perhaps it’s because the act of preparing for and traveling to Baja was exhausting and now I’m just tired.

Whatever the cause, my anxiety starts as an uncertainty, an insecurity tickling the back of my skull. Then it attacks my ego, assigning me responsible for the self-created and the mostly non-existent negative body language that whoever is sitting next to me is giving off. The way you picked up your fork makes me think you’re angry. The look you flashed when I coughed causes me to cower.

From there the insecurity spreads like a plague until it’s part of every thought, every action. At some point, it doesn’t even seem to originate in the brain anymore. It becomes a vibration within. A simmering under my skin that makes me jump at the smallest of noises. A discomfort that makes eggshells appear under my feet.

Once here, it’s like I can’t do anything right. Every action is disappointing. Every thought is wrong thinking. The big picture comes crashing down making it hard to breathe. It settles onto my shoulders and around my throat, like an over-zealous travel pillow. Tears usually follow accompanied with sides of hopelessness and embarrassment.

Anxiety attacks. No really. It attacks. It’s calculated, methodical, and unforgiving. It makes me think that it’s All. My. Fault. It’s exhausting and it can happen anytime, even on vacation.

I’ve been dealing with anxiety since I was a kid, although I didn’t know what it was until I was well into my thirties, at which point I had to make a decision: to be a stressed-out, anxiety-ridden person, which also meant living with the idea that there was something wrong with me; or to accept the fact that I’m a person and all people have struggles.

Anxiety and negative thinking are my struggles, and I choose to handle them in the same way I handle having seasonal allergies or a bad back.

Let me explain. I live in a state of sleepy sneezes when things start blooming. In the months before spring arrives, I begin taking bee pollen daily so I’m less prone to lethargy and allergy attacks. I injured my back last week surfing, so I’m not going to lift heavy things and after a period of rest, I’ll start doing stretches and exercises to strengthen myself so I can get back in the water.

I’m not going to wait to get to the point where I’m laid out and feeling sorry for myself, and I’m not going to jump into an activity that will exacerbate the situation. I am being proactive about my well-being.

When I was about thirty-five, my anxiety got so bad that it led to a depressive state. I was panicked all of the time and I began to realize that the life choices I habitually made were feeding my negative state of mind.

I wasn’t living a healthy life style. I didn’t find my job fulfilling. I was angry that I didn’t have what “you” had. Something was always missing and I was constantly reaching outward to fill the empty space.

The problem was that nothing from outside myself was helping. I realized that drinking alcohol and eating poorly (i.e. binging on sugar), sitting in front of social media, smoking cigarettes. and watching hours of television were all the same type of abuse.

I had been using all of these things to dull myself to, well, myself. I had been living un-happily for the majority of my life and so unhappy had become my default.

I also had to admit that my discontented state was a direct product of living dishonestly. I hadn’t been communicating about the things that I knew would make me unhappy because I was only worried about what would make me look good to others.

So, I acted based on the assumptions of what others thought I should do (without asking them, of course). Then I got pissed off when others didn’t act the way I wanted them to. The result was that I pushed away the people I loved and in turn, felt isolated and angry.

When I started seeing all of these things that were making me unhappy, the natural question to ask myself was “Well, then, what the heck makes me happy?” The shocking answer was that I didn’t know. Something had to change.

Drinking alcohol was the first thing to go. It was a raging red flag that had been waving for a few years. I finally decided to pay attention.

Once I had a few months of sobriety, an odd thing happened: I started painting. It wasn’t a huge stretch for me, as art had always been in my life in some way, but painting had never been my favorite medium.

But there it was, in all of its colors and shapes. Abstract painting. I didn’t really care what the painting looked like. That wasn’t the point. The point was the present state of mind that creating art brought me to. I didn’t think about my to do list, my sadness, or my insecurities. I was just painting.

When I was a kid, I loved to make art. The art studio in my high school was where I was most comfortable. I loved getting my hands dirty in clay. I left spatterings of paint and ink on my clothes because I liked them there. I felt at home when I was doing art.

At thirty-six years old, immersing myself in abstract painting reminded me of what it was like to actually feel like myself again.

I had to come to terms with the fact that since I was thirteen years old, I had been living the life of a person that I thought I should be, not who I really was. I had to let go of all aspects of that person that wasn’t authentic to me and remove all of my masks in order to follow the life I want to live.

I felt relieved to finally be exposed. I didn’t have to hide anymore. I admitted that sometimes I am more of an introvert than extrovert. That if all I’m doing is chasing a paycheck, I’m never going to be okay with a nine-to0five job, even if it comes with an impressive title. That I am not ever going to be like anyone else but me.

I recently had a discussion with a friend regarding how to be the best and most useful person to the world. She was given the advice to follow her authentic passion, as following passion leads to happiness and a happy person is more useful to themselves and everyone around them.

I don’t really remember how old I was when I started making art, but I’m pretty sure that it’s the first thing I found that felt good to my soul, and it was life-saving to be reminded of that. Now, having come full circle, I have four years of my authentic work under my belt. I have quit my day job and I’m pursuing my passion of being a professional artist (which is something that I deemed not possible very early on).

I don’t know what prompted me to pick up a paintbrush four years ago, but I believe it was a gift from my Self to myself. The really cool thing is that I don’t want to be anyone but me anymore. I’m so interested in giving attention to this person that has always been there, but I ignored because I didn’t think she was good enough.

It was difficult to grasp that the only one judging and bullying me was me, but I have to remain compassionate to that misguided part of myself as well. She was only doing the best she could.

Anxiety is still a part of my life. I am not “cured.” But just like I treat allergies or an injured back, I have decided to be proactive in dealing with my anxiety.

When I’m actively practicing the below, I’m better rested and less reactive. I am able to clearly see my options leading to less confusion and better decisions. Most importantly, I can feel when anxiety is welling up and I have the tools to tamper it down before it is out of control.

When I am active in the following, my anxiety is manageable:

1. Choose to live authentically. What moves me? What do I feel I am here to do? What is going to make me happy? Whatever it is, don’t judge it. Do it.

2. Practice acceptance. We all have hard things to deal with. Every last one of us. That’s life.

3. Meditation in the mornings sets my base line for the day and helps me sleep at night.

4. Painting every day keeps my hands busy and creates an outlet for the mental energy that cannot be released otherwise.

5. Exercising outside in nature, particularly surfing in the ocean every chance I get, allows me to see that the world is sooooo much bigger than me and all decisions are not mine for the making (see the above mentioned back injury).

6. Reciting my gratitude list regularly, and telling the people I love that I’m grateful for them, helps me to see the positive side of life instead of focusing on the negative.

7. Eating right and treating my body with respect keeps me feeling whole, healthy, and balanced.

8. Reminding myself that this is a practice. I am not perfect. It’s okay not to be.

It’s not always easy. When I started writing this, I was entering the belly of the whale. Now that I’m many paragraphs in, I already feel more at ease.

By identifying and accepting this particular whale, I don’t have to be swallowed. Just by writing this, I have taken the unknown out of the scenario by calling the anxiety out for what it is. Once I have given it a name, it’s not quite so scary. It just is what it is. Some people have diabetes. I have anxiety.

We cannot choose whether or not we have problems like anxiety. We all have our issues and that’s just part of being human. Rather than be at odds with anxiety all the time, we can choose to learn more about it and actually co-exist. We have a choice about how much say we allow anxiety to have in our lives.

I find that I prefer to swim along-side my whale and learn more about it rather than being engulfed by it. Frankly, more and more, I’m finding that I’m just grateful to be able to go for a swim, and so I dive in. Deeper and deeper. Excited to find what else is beneath.

About Marigny Goodyear

Marigny Goodyear is an artist, living and working in Talent, Oregon with her husband, Goody and daughter, Nora. She plays in Crescent City, California, where the ocean keeps her strong and inspired, and she often visits her hometown of New Orleans (also nicknamed The Crescent City), where the rhythm of her heartbeat is renewed. Visit her at marignygoodyearart.com.

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