It’s Never Too Late to Start Living in the Moment and Enjoying Your Life

The philosopher Alan Watts always said that life is like a song, and the sole purpose of the song is to dance.

He said that when we listen to a song, we don’t dance with the goal of getting to the end of the music. We dance to enjoy it.

This isn’t always how we live our lives. Instead, we rush through our moments, thinking there’s always something better, there’s always some goal we need to achieve. This is my journey through a song without the dance and the lessons I’ve learned, from Alan Watts, along the way.

“Existence is meant to be fun. It doesn’t go anywhere it just is.”

I sat in my car, fixated on my hands. Hot tears welled in my eyes and slowly streamed down my cheeks. I lost focus of the very thing that held the answer to my problem.

I remember thinking about how my nails grow on their own, how my hair grows and my heart beats, and the tears fall. All without effort or pain, these things happen. They’re effortless. Why was life so difficult?

At twenty-two, my goal was to be successful. I wanted to be someone—to have more and be more than I thought I was. I needed to justify something to the world, but I didn’t know what I was trying to prove.

I was a mother at eighteen years old, it was a setback but never a regret. Even so, I felt judged. At twenty-three I had my second daughter. I was a wife with two kids and a low paying job.

I had a loving husband and two beautiful kids, but I wasn’t happy. I wanted more. In the quest for more, I traded my time for a particular brand of success. The kind of success that you can only achieve through money and status. Something precious for something I felt would give me vindication from society.

“The whole point of dancing is the dance.”

When I was twenty-eight, I had done all the things society tells us to do. I went to college, I got a high paying job, and I was climbing my way to the top. I was lucky, but it didn’t feel that way. The goal was to have everything and make it look effortless. Except it wasn’t effortless, and nothing came easy. I had missed the point; I’d played the song but I didn’t dance.

“You live life by analogy, a journey with a pilgrimage to get to the end success, heaven, whatever. You missed the point, you were supposed to dance.”

I became a government contractor, far from a dream but it brought success. Maybe you became an insurance salesman or a real estate agent. Like me, you work hard every day. You get up and go through the routine that you know will make you successful. You work harder and longer hours because you know that if you just keep working, success will come.

Then you turn forty. You’re exhausted. Life has taken its toll, but you’ve made it. You’re successful. This existence is what you worked for, it’s everything your ego wanted, and you did it. You traded the precious moments for eighty-hour work weeks, but you did it. Now you can dance. Now life can start.

You look around at your beautiful home and your expensive cars. There comes the point when you realize that the cars and the house don’t feel the way you imagined they would. These are symbols of your success. Your ego needed them, but your heart needed something far more valuable.

“I must survive means you are not playing.”

Perhaps your story isn’t like mine, and at forty you’re still working a dead end job, working to pay the bills. Wishing you had more time with the ones you love. I know it’s not easy. To compare my story to yours would be missing the point of the message.

The point is, no matter how far you get or how hard you work you will always want to get to the next level. Sure material things bring comfort, but they don’t bring happiness. You will always be where you are in your heart until you realize that life isn’t about material possessions.

Our lives are not about things and status. Even though we’ve made ourselves miserable with wanting, we already have everything we need. Life is meant to be lived. If you can’t quit your job tomorrow, enjoy where you are. Focus on the best parts of every day. Believe that everything you do has a purpose and a place in the world.

Happiness comes from gratitude. You’re alive, you have people to miss when you go to work, and you get to see them smile every day. We all have to do things we don’t want to do; we have to survive. When you find yourself working for things that don’t matter like a big house or a fancy car, when you could be living, you’ve missed the point. You’re playing the song but you’re not dancing.

“A song isn’t just the ending. It’s not just the goal of finishing the song. The song is an experience.”

I remember going to school at night when I could have been home with my daughters. My little girls cried at the door as I left them. I tried to reason with myself. I was doing all of this for them.

I wanted my daughters to be proud of their mother. I was setting a good example. Their mother was going to be someone, for them. As I turned my back on them, I cried too. I hated that I had to leave.

In truth, I made a choice to leave them. Everything we do in life is a choice that we’ve made. Telling ourselves that we don’t have a choice is the biggest lie of them all.

I made excuses and created a hero version of myself that was doing it all for my family. My daughters didn’t need status. I needed that. All they needed was me. Some days the tears were flowing so much I couldn’t drive, so I sat in my car and I fixated on my hands. I wondered why my nails had it so easy.

I was so close to understanding that growth is all we have to do. There’s no effort in growing or dying. These things are inevitable. We make it difficult because we choose to.

My hair grew, and my heart beat without effort or understanding. These seemingly simple things understood a lot more about life than I did as a whole person.

All I had to do was be, exist, experience, love, and have gratitude, but I didn’t. My struggle went on for years. It was far from the picturesque life I was trying to achieve. I chose to do it anyway.

“Try to sleep, and you can’t sleep. You’ve got to let go. If you don’t, you’ll constantly try and keep yourself wound up.”

I think about my struggle for success, working during the day and going to school at night. Missing my husband and my kids, I thought someday this would all get easier. When I think back on that time in my life I never wish I had worked harder.

I wish I had more memories with my family.

Now I have everything I wanted back then, but it doesn’t feel like you’d think it would feel. What was I expecting? I didn’t feel any different than I always felt, except that I had a corner office, a fancier house, and nicer clothes.

An ideally located office—this is what it all came down to in the end? It’s very anticlimactic when the new car smell wears off, and all you have is a large payment and more hours at work.

We all think that when we’re at the top, everything should be amazing, but it’s not. Your children have grown older, and you don’t remember the little things.

“…tomorrow and plans for tomorrow can have no significance at all unless you are in full contact with the reality of the present, since it is in the present and only in the present that you live.”

You feel cheated of your time, cheated by time. Now you have to make up for it. You have to live, make the most of what you have left. So you set another goal.

This time you’ll build memories and see places, do things you never got the chance to do. The list grows, and you wonder how you’ll get it all done and still make your large mortgage payment. You work more hours so you can do all this stuff “someday.” You’ve overwhelmed yourself again.

You’re missing the point.

Stop wanting more, be grateful for today. Live in the moment. Cherish your life and the time you have in this world. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, then it wasn’t meant to; let it go.

“We think if we don’t interfere it won’t happen.”

There’s always an expectation, always something that has to get done. You pushed aside living so that you could live up to an expectation that doesn’t exist to anyone but you. The expectation is always there because you gave it power. To live, you’ve got to let it go.

You save all your money so that you can retire. You live to retire. Then you get old, and you’re too tired to live up to the expectation you had of retirement; you never realize your dreams.

At forty you felt cheated, at eighty you are cheated. You cheated yourself the whole way through to the end.

“Your purpose was to dance until the end, but you were so focused on the end that you forgot to dance.”

I quit my job at forty, I worked too much and I never got the chance to live. I don’t have a powerful positon. I have a job with less stress. I’m not holding the weight of the company on my shoulders. I also make a lot less money.

I can work fewer hours and live with less stuff, but I’ll never get back what I’ve lost. Money, fancy cars, and a big house will never give back my time. The moments, the little things live in the past, they’re gone.

“Life should be easy and fun, effortless, but we rarely let it be what it is.”

We’re always striving for more, never satisfied with where we are. More is always better. Happiness and fulfillment are always just out of reach. When we’re growing up, we strive to finish high school. Then the goal is college, then grad school. We have a family, and we live through the challenges of life, but we never stop to realize the grace in each moment. We never dance.

Gratitude for life itself is still ahead of me. The song is still playing, and it’s never too late to live in the present and enjoy the dance.

About Mercy Torres

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Are There Benefits to Implementing Business Intelligence for Small Business?

Business Intelligence (BI) is a process for analyzing data and presenting relevant information to business executives. It’s meant to help them make better business decisions and improve their overall performance. There are many benefits to using Business Intelligence for every business. Despite that, it’s still important to know what it can and cannot do for your venture.

While BI used to be exclusively for the ‘big boys’ (since they had the money for IT specialists and data centers), it’s now possible for small businesses to utilize BI to fulfill their different needs. This guide will cover some of the benefits your small business would get from using BI tools.

Large corps are no longer the sole users of BI

Times have changed since only large corporations could utilize BI to make more informed business decisions. It’s quite simple – if it can help large corporations make better decisions, why wouldn’t it be able to help small businesses do the same?

Technological boom in the past ten years has made this possible. Now, small businesses can successfully utilize BI to help their growth and financial decisions.

BI’s impact on business growth

Every small business owner should be interested to know which products/services are successful and where. This is particularly important if expansion is in the plan. Business Intelligence allows you to this and more, by pinpointing popular trends in certain areas or within a certain population.

By relying on raw data instead on your instincts, you’ll be sure to lower the risks of decision making. It’ll be quite easier for your small business to reach that next stage of expansion.

Future planning

The best thing about utilizing Business Intelligence platforms is that it allows you to prepare yourself for the future. Adjusting your small business in line with the data you get from BI can help you reach your business’ full potential.

It’s also important to note that some businesses are already shifting from traditional BI towards predictive analytics. Being very cost effective, it’s no wonder that firms like Picnet software development company started using predictive analytics instead of the classical BI. It also saves a lot of time since it only uses extracts of internal data to get the same results.

BI helps you organize

You can easily deduct what’s working and what’s not regarding your management and staffing structure through BI analytics. You can also use it to better control your inventory since it will point out which products/services are most popular in a certain time frame. It will allow you to stock up on certain items and avoid any chaotic situations. This will ensure that your business stays cost efficient.

And if you ever reach that point where you no longer consider your venture to be a ‘small business’, then you can consider creating an analytics team to help you process the data.

The security aspect

The security of most SMBs today is highly dependent on the exploitation of Big Data, though not directly. The thing is, many cyber security companies today employ big data analytics to battle the ever-growing stream of cyber-attacks.

What started out as a military technology aimed at battling terrorism has lately been commercialized and available to a broad spectrum of public companies. The system is based on a machine-learning model that analyze vast amounts of data, looking for suspicious patterns in “behavior”. Though it comes with a price, it is nothing compared to the price of losing one’s business in the aftermath of a major cyber-attack.

The importance of such systems is emphasized by the fact that 60% of all cyber-attacks are aimed at small businesses. The reason being the lack of defensive possibilities. Malware, DDoS and plain hacks can lead to customer distrust, loss of important data and hefty legal fines.

See Also: 9 Stats About Small Business Digital Marketing in 2017

Conclusion

Investing in Business Intelligence will make it much easier for you to understand how your business is progressing, why it’s progressing at that rate and where you’ll be if you don’t make any changes. This will make decision making so much easier and you’ll never have to rely on your business intuition. As you already know, low risk and high reward is the winning recipe for most startups and that’s exactly what BI brings to the table.

See Also: How to Ensure Growth in Small Business

 

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How I Turned Fear and Anxiety into Joy and Fulfillment

“The largest part of what we call ‘personality’ is determined by how we’ve opted to defend ourselves against anxiety and sadness.” ~Alain de Botton

I know fear and anxiety. We’re old friends. When I was fifteen, and school was over, I’d have to force one foot in front of the other. It was time to go home. I always kept going and with every step I’d psych myself up.

You see, once I’d gotten home, fixed my dinner, and finished my homework, my mother would come home. It was then that we would begin the nightly ritual of me talking her out of killing herself. I succeeded, but every day was a struggle.

As I got older I became terrified of leaving my room and fixated on studying so I could go to college and leave her dramatic mood swings behind.

I did get out. I went on to study at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, a highly ranked school, studied abroad in England, and even went on to get a Masters Degree in International Studies from the University of Sydney in Australia. I worked hard and climbed in my career as a humanitarian worker.

But the problem was that the fear and anxiety followed me. The chaotic energy of my childhood was still in every cell of my body. And as a result, I attracted people very similar to my mother and I was attracted to dangerous situations such as visiting former war zones for work.

After seventeen years of carrying this weight around, I buckled. My work suffered and I fell apart emotionally. I felt like a pilot trying to land an out of control jumbo jet with both engines on fire.

I just couldn’t carry the weight anymore, so I began to unload toxic relationships left and right—quite to the shock and dismay of my family and friends.

As I felt better and cracks of clarity began to seep through, the people around me pushed back. That’s when I made probably the biggest most dramatic decision I’ve ever made.

I sold my house in Washington, DC, worked out a part-time telecommuting position with my boss, and moved to Asheville, North Carolina. I knew that I needed space to figure out who I was and to spend some quality time dealing with my past.

Four and a half years later, I feel like a completely different person. I believe in myself, like really believe in myself. I meditate. I have clear boundaries that I stick to, and at a cellular level, I feel at peace.

Now, I still have work to do, but I don’t dread it. Instead, I look forward to my continued work and getting to the next level of fulfillment, and I see life as full possibilities and joy.

During this journey people have continually asked me how I did it. They’re amazed that every time they see me, I somehow have jumped to a more fulfilled level. Well, let me tell you.

1. I made personal development my number one priority.

Every time I made a leap, my relationship with myself improved, my relationships with others improved, new opportunities appeared in my life, and my business became less stressful, more streamlined, and more purposeful.

2. I embraced my emotions.

It was messy at first. I’m not going to lie. I cried every day for two years and I still cry fairly often, but it’s over quickly and I feel much better afterward. I understand now that I had to grieve for the childhood that I never had.

The two tools that kept me sane and helped me push through were a) a regimented and strenuous workout routine that allowed me to get my anger out in a physical way and b) Iyanla Vanzant’s online Forgiveness Workshop, which guided me through why I was angry, allowed me to get to the heart of my anger (and more importantly my hurt), and allowed me to let go.

3. I stopped identifying myself as a victim.

I’ll be honest, this one still comes up for me in surprising ways. I realized that I had been taking pride in being a victim. It had become part of my identity, and it was holding me back from believing in myself.

4. I embraced that it’s how I feel that is the most important thing in my life, not the amount of money in my bank account, the status of the people around me, or the car that I drive.

Danielle LaPorte’s book The Desire Map was instrumental in this mind shift. After reading it, I finally understood that when I coveted material things or relationships, I wasn’t coveting them; I was coveting how I thought they would make me feel. My whole life changed when I realized that I could have positive feelings now without these things.

I began to incorporate experiencing belonging, feeling loved, and feeling safe into my morning meditation.

There was a lot of reaching at the beginning. These weren’t emotions that I had ever experienced in a holistic and healthy way. But I kept meditating on them, and slowly, things, programs, podcasts, and people showed up in my life that showed me what those healthy emotions did feel like. And my meditations on them became more and more real. And now I know with certainty that my life will be filled with belonging, love, and feelings of being safe for the rest of my life.

5. I embraced affirmations and mantras.

I began to write down affirmations and post them throughout my house. When things were at their worst, I printed out on a piece of paper in huge font the words “I love you” and taped it to my bathroom mirror.

I still cry thinking about how lonely and unloved I felt when I looked at that piece of paper every morning. But I kept it up there and I even started to say “I love you” to myself in the mirror.

At first I could barely look myself in the eye, but after over five years, I look myself clearly in the eye and smile every time I say it, because I mean it.

I also started to identify how I wanted to feel so I could create mantras. I still do this. At the moment I’ve borrowed one of Gabrielle Bernstein’s favorites and adapted it. Every time I am at rest I repeat to myself “I am supported in my life and business” and everyday I feel more supported.

6. I got a dog.

It may sound simple to some, but getting a dog has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. The obvious perks are the unconditional love, the constant shoulder to cry on, and someone who is always ecstatic to play with me.

But the actual reason goes much deeper. Dogs’ behavior reflects the energy we put off into the world, so they’re like an instant karma meter. If we’re feeling chaotic and unsure of ourselves, they might protect us by attacking other dogs or misbehave.

People always assume it’s the dog’s fault if he misbehaves, but the fault is almost always the human’s energy. Once I figured this out, I felt an even greater responsibility for the energy that I was putting out in the world. I now had to be calm, direct, and assertive so that my dog could have a happy life. During this process, he has helped me identify countless things to clear.

7. I set firm boundaries.

This one was and still is paramount to my happiness. I grew up in a family with essentially no boundaries. My parents would tell me about their love lives, their problems, and didn’t really allow me to have any material possessions that really felt like mine.

So as an adult I had very poor boundaries. I’d let people take advantage of me and then get mad behind their backs. I’d ask inappropriate questions. The list goes on and on.

One day my therapist mentioned boundaries in passing, so I looked on Amazon and found another life changing book, Where you End and I Begin by Anne Katherine. It rocked my world.

I honestly had never even realized that I was allowed to set boundaries. I started setting them right away and my whole world started to shift.

I now tell people when I don’t want to talk about a subject. I leave a party if I no longer want to be there and I only do things I want to do. As a result I am so much happier and grounded, and more importantly I am now free to explore what it is that I really want.

8. I understand that what people say often reflects what they think about themselves.

This was a hard one. I grew up thinking that everyone’s emotional state and actions were my fault.

As a result, I had a chronic need to please—and if I didn’t, I felt horribly guilty about it afterwards. As I worked through my own emotional chaos, I began to understand how the energy that I brought to a situation could completely shift its outcome.

I realized that I was creating a revolving mirror of chaos by projecting my own insecurities onto other people’s words and actions. Once I had reined in my inner chaos and could see the world with some clarity, I realized that most people do the same thing I was doing.

In some cases I realized it didn’t even matter if I was in the room; their insecurities were the only thing that mattered in their world. Whatever I had to say wasn’t going to change anything.

This realization was downright magical. I finally felt free. I look back and realize that so many situations that had made me feel bad had absolutely nothing to do with me. This has not only allowed me to forgive more people, but it has allowed me to more easily spot secure people who genuinely listen and gravitate towards them.

9. I expelled negative messages from my life.

I realized that the television shows I watched, the music that I listened to, and the furniture and objects I put in my house all impacted my subconscious.

As a result, I stopped watching television where the main character was on the verge of dying or the world was going to end in every episode. This doesn’t mean I switched to shows with unicorns and bunnies. I’m an intelligent person who likes complex plots. But what I did was make sure that the shows I watched reflected how I wanted to feel.

I started curating my music more carefully. If I loved the beat, but the song had negative messages about women, it got tossed. If the lyrics were about self-sabotage or unhealthy self-doubt, it got tossed. Or if I just didn’t like the beat, it also got tossed.

What is now left is positive, affirming music that actually feels like me. I’ve even had people comment that the music I listen to feels like my artwork.

I gave away or threw out all furniture or objects that I didn’t like or that reminded me of someone that I didn’t like. If an object made me feel guilty, it got tossed. If something was broken, it got tossed.

I even threw away my dining room table! Every time I would drive to the Restore or Goodwill with a full car I was filled with guilt, but then when I drove away empty-handed I always felt an overwhelming sense of relief.

I realized that I was so busy cluttering my house up with obligations and broken things that I wasn’t showcasing the things I loved and that brought me joy.

10. I believe in myself.

When I was trying to study abroad in England and get my Masters in Australia, I felt so sure of the outcome—in my mind there was no other outcome—and I felt so focused and purposeful. I realized this year that I had lost that drive.

Going through my past in painstaking detail in order to heal had really taken its toll. In some ways it had dragged me into a holding pattern and I couldn’t see a life beyond it.

Then I started to listen to the Tim Ferriss’ podcast. It’s a complex show hosted by a complex man, so you could take away any number of things. What I’ve taken away lately is that I need to start asking myself more absurd questions.

Essentially I need to start thinking bigger. So when Tim mentioned an old 1959 book called The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz, I devoured it. It is lifting me up in ways that I never expected (and making me chuckle at its totally 1950s take on life).

As a result of this book, I finally understand what Tony Robbins has been banging on about—successful people and businesses are successful because they truly believe they will be successful, and they’re willing to do any amount of personal growth work to get to their goal.

They are so sure of the outcome that nothing, not even their most horrifying ghost will stop them. They’re not going to push against the ghost, they’re going to embrace the ghost, feel its pain, and move through it.

I believe that I can. And I believe that you can too.

About Maggie Minor

Maggie Minor is the founder of Maggie Minor Designs, a resource for room designs and artwork that helps people surround themselves with inspiration. A former humanitarian worker, Maggie is also the author of Adventures of a Curious Sculptor, a memoir of her world travels and personal journey. To learn more, follow Maggie on Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, or Facebook.

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Where a Career in Finance Can Take You

If you are looking for the perfect career option, you might be thinking about majoring in finance. However, you could be wondering what your job opportunities will look like if you do end up getting this degree. Luckily, this is a career field that has a lot of different opportunities. These are some of the potential careers in finance you can look into.

Financial Planner

Some people need a lot of help with their personal finances. They might be having trouble meeting their financial goals or might just be looking to make the most out of the money they’ve saved and worked for. For these individuals, a financial planner can be incredibly helpful.

After majoring in finance, you can choose to help people with their personal finances by becoming a financial planner. In this job, you will help people determine how to handle their money, achieve their financial goals and plan for their future. You’ll need a broad and varied view of finances and be able to advise on a variety of financial topics.

Budget Analyst

Many businesses and non-profit organizations like to have someone who will take a second look at their budget to help determine where they can make cuts and changes. As a budget analyst, you can help these businesses and organizations to improve the way they spend their money.

Office Secretary

If you love the idea of working in an office, you might like the idea of being an office secretary. With this type of job, you will help with handling finances, but you may have to wear a lot of other hats as well. This could be a good fit for someone with a finance degree. Someone with a human resources degree or general business degree might also find this as a good job choice.

Accountant

One of the most common jobs that people with finance degrees look for is a job as an accountant. Of course, there are all sorts of different accountants.

You could choose to primarily work with individuals who need help with their taxes or you could work for a business and handle their payroll, budgeting, taxes and more. You could even open your own accounting firm and provide accounting services of various types to those who need them.

Credit Analyst

If you choose a career as a credit analyst, you will generally work within a bank or lending institution. Your job will be to take a look at the credit profiles of individuals who apply for various types of loans. After assessing their profiles, you’ll determine whether or not they qualify for the loan.

Insurance Actuary

If you choose a career as an actuary for an insurance company, your job will be to calculate risks. As you might already know, insurance companies generally base their customers’ rates by the chances of them filing a claim.

Professor

If you are passionate about finance and would love to share it with others, you can always consider working as an instructor at a college or university. By teaching finance classes, you will be able to improve your own education and share your knowledge with the rest of the world.

As you can see, engaging in these careers in finance can be a wonderful thing as they can open up a lot of doors for you. If you think you might be interested in one of these careers or another career in finance, consider looking into your options for attending a school with a good finance program. After that, you can start working your way to achieving your career goals.

 

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How To Make Better Business Decisions By Paying Attention To The Economy

When you are running a business, you have a lot of hard decisions to make.

Should you hire more people or keep running on a skeleton crew? Should you expand to that new location or keep your business small? Can you afford to sink your cash into merchandise or should you hold on to it a while longer?

No one has a crystal ball, so making business decisions can be a very stressful thing to do. One thing that can help is paying attention to what is happening within the economy, both locally and nationally.

Local Economy Matters

If you live in an area where there is a general push to support small businesses, that can definitely help your small business to do well. Doing business in a place where the cost of living is low can also help you to keep your business expenses low. You won’t need to pay someone $100,000 a year for working at a drive thru when the cost of living is low.

Living wages are, by definition, lower when the cost of living is low. In essence, this means that the cost of doing business can be kept lower in these areas as well.

It’s also important to pay attention to things like foreclosures and bankruptcies in your local area. Some areas have a greater concentration of economic issues or have those issues earlier than the rest of the country.

See Also: How to Ensure Growth in Small Business

National Economy Matters, Too

Do you know what the DOW closed at yesterday?

Well, I don’t.

It’s not every person’s responsibility to keep track of every single thing that happens in business. However, as someone who is aspiring to be successful, you need to be observant of the situation, especially if you are making business decisions.

Looking at economic trends can give you an indication of which way the overall economy is headed. Maybe things are still going great in your small town but foreclosures are up across the nation. There’s a good chance it’ll affect your town, too.

There are many different economic indicators you can look at to determine how the economy is doing. There’s even a lipstick indicator. When lipstick sales go up, it generally means the economy is in a downturn and people are still treating themselves in smaller ways.

Some of the most common economic indicators in the United States economy are:

Consumer Financial Stress- When spending goes down and debt loads go up, that’s a good indicator that the economy is heading for a downturn.

Housing Starts- When people build more new homes, the economy may be on an upswing.

Bankruptcy- More bankruptcies can mean that people are ready to put their debt behind them and move forward.

Foreclosures- As with bankruptcies, foreclosures can indicate that people are ready to move forward and get on the right track. High foreclosure rates and high numbers of foreclosures at a specific area can also indicate that there is stress in the banking system, as we saw in the foreclosure crisis of 2008.

Knowing Where The Economy Is Headed Helps You Make Better Business Decisions

Imagine you are in the restaurant business. You want to open a fancy French restaurant in the hottest part of town. Rent will be high. Overhead will be high. Meals will be pricey.

If the economy is headed upward, you have a better shot of making it work. However, if everyone around you is having their houses foreclosed and filing for bankruptcy, it’s obvious that they wouldn’t have extra cash to spend on an expensive meal.

Legal Intakes Can Clear Up Confusion

When you have two or more economic indices that seem to be contradicting each other, you may need a little more information to make sense of it all. Legal indices track legal intakes across the country and can help clear up any confusion about two indices that seem to be at odds with each other.

If foreclosures are up but legal indices show they are old foreclosures moving out at the same time housing starts are up, that’s a pretty good indicator that the economy is on an upswing after all.

See Also: Changing Trends in the Way Families Buy Homes

Your Business Depends On Sharp Decision Making

Making the best possible decisions for your business means you need to be well informed. Learn more about economic indices from this infographic.

 

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Why Letting Go of Your Tight Grip Actually Gives You More Control

“Anything you can’t control in life is teaching you how to let go.” ~Unknown

I was growing impatient. I wanted an answer about something and it just wasn’t coming, no matter how hard I tried to prod it into happening. I was growing frustrated. And I was growing frustrated with my frustrations about it.

So I decided to take a walk. The act of breathing in fresh air and hearing birdsong is centering for me. Just putting one foot in front of the other in rapid succession for an hour or two always helps to clear my head. I receive answers and guidance to my greatest questions when I’m walking. Call it a moving meditation.

As I set out that morning, my eyes were drawn upward to three hawks flying overhead. While their aerial dance looked choreographed and elegant, I realized that the hawks weren’t instigating the choreography. They were simply letting go and floating with the currents. They circled and circled above me, wings outstretched, sailing and drifting.

It dawned on me as I watched the hawks in flight that I’m rarely successful when I try to push or pull something in order to make it happen. Making an effort is noble and often necessary, but forcing something or worrying about it seldom yields the results you want.

Sometimes, you just have to let go of your tight grip of how you think things should be or how quickly they should come together and simply let things run their own course. By releasing control and letting the currents carry you along, paradoxically, you gain more control—of your attitude and your reaction to what’s happening to you at the moment.

Never was this truer in my life than when my mother was dying of cancer. My husband and I had decided that having Mom live with us would be the best solution. So, we rearranged our home, making one room her little oasis where she would be surrounded by her lovely things. Mom still wanted her independence, but it was no longer prudent.

I worked well into the night getting everything ready for her arrival from the skilled care facility where she was rehabilitating after a hospitalization. No sooner was she discharged from the nursing home and settled in at our home than circumstances changed and she ended up right back in the hospital again and then back at the nursing home for more rehab.

Later that same week, the unimaginable happened. I spontaneously and frighteningly became paralyzed from the chest down. My husband and I had been working hard to clean out Mom’s apartment. We’d been dealing as best as we could with her boomeranging back and forth to the hospital and nursing home. Then, all of a sudden, I needed medical care myself.

At first, there were those medical professionals who thought I was simply exhausted and that my illness might even be psychosomatic. However, an MRI revealed a large benign tumor called a meningioma pressing so severely on my spinal cord that I suddenly became paralyzed.

I was whisked by ambulance to the nearest large hospital an hour away, where a neurosurgeon who inherited my case soberly delivered the news that he was only cautiously optimistic I would ever walk again. I underwent the first of two surgeries to remove the tumor and release its pressure from my spinal cord.

While in the hospital, unable to move, I realized that I had no other choice but to breathe, relax, and let go. I found it easier, then, to accept what was, even if I didn’t like it.

All of my plans to care for my mother in our home were dashed. My mother’s care would have to be handed over to others at the skilled nursing facility. Mom would accept the situation. My work would have to just pile up. My employer would cope. My life was pretty much on hold as we waited to see how my spinal cord would recover from the surgery.

I never once gave up faith or hope that I would get better. I visualized my return to my sacred evening walks. I saw myself strong and nimble and able to do what I could to support my mother on her final journey.

But, I couldn’t plan at that point. I had to give in and let go. Like those hawks I saw overhead recently, I couldn’t allow myself to become impatient or to force the outcome. I had to ride on the wind and let the currents carry my wings.

We all have those times in our lives when we want things to be the way we believe they should be—the way we planned them to be. Alas, sometimes life has another path for us.

I believe that those things that are meant for us have a tendency to come our way and those doors that are never supposed to be open to us simply will not open.

Some of our desires will take longer to manifest than we would want. There will be those things that will turn out differently than we anticipated—sometimes better than we could have imagined; at other times, not so much.

Our difficulties and disappointments, however, have the ability to serve as blessings. Those blessings aren’t always clear at the moment, but with time, they often become visible.

After months of physical therapy, I did indeed learn how to walk again. And now I walk every day because I can. I am blessed.

For those of us who like to have a semblance of control over our lives, we will at some point learn that there are those times when we don’t have much say in what happens or how it ends. All we can do is be patient, filled with faith and buttressed by hope.

Our letting go of the process or the outcome gives us more space to consider what’s happening at that very moment and to control our attitudes and reactions. By being mindful of our thoughts and attitudes, we can avoid getting stuck in draining emotions.

It’s quite freeing to not have any preconceived notions, to be patient and to just let things flow. When I get out of the way and allow life to happen, the end result is often much better than I could have planned on my own.

Surely, I want and need to have goals, plans and dreams. That’s what helped me recover from my paralysis and regain the ability to walk. But, I’ve learned that I can’t be shackled by my desires and plans. Instead, I’ve learned to stop the tendency to prod or push. I’ve found that I can ride the currents, allow them to sweep me along, and all will be well.

When you let go and allow the currents to carry you, you’ll still move forward in life. Things might not turn out exactly as you planned, but the journey may give you more interesting scenery along the way. And in the end, you’ll have mastered control of what really mattered all along: What you thought and how you reacted to your circumstances.

About Keri Olson

Keri Olson is the survivor of three cancer diagnoses and two benign tumors -- one in her brain and another in her spine that caused temporary paralysis. Through illness, Olson has learned the beauty and blessing of each day. She blogs about joy at timetobe-keri.blogspot.com. The author of two books, Olson is currently writing her third. She lives in Baraboo, Wisconsin with her husband Larry McCoy.

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Happiness Techniques From Around The World That Can Change Your Life

When we look back across our lives, it is often the most prominent of events and landmarks that we remember: a kiss, a birthday party, a new job, or a sporting achievement. Yet it is the way we live our day-to-day lives that truly defines who we are and how we feel. Happiness breeds happiness, and it is important to start with the fundamentals.

All around the world, ordinary people and famous achievers alike have developed ways to buoy their daily experience for thousands of years. Whether due to the local climate, religious and cultural tendencies, or just a chance habit that caught the imagination of others in that region, every place has its own techniques to share on how to make regular life just that little bit nicer.

So let’s take a look at things folk from around the world do to give their day that tweak it needs, and how you can adapt these ideas to your daily life.

Japan

The Japanese have a relatively new ‘tradition’ to reconnect with their souls. It’s called ‘shinrin-yoku’, or forest-bathing, and was developed in the 1980s in an atmosphere of suffocating cityscapes and omnipresent technology.

To practice shinrinu-yoku:

• Go for a walk in the forest, or a wooded area of your local park
• Take time to think about every sound you hear while you walk
• Appreciate the smells and the texture of the trees
• Reconsider your existence in the context of our ancient natural world.

Hawaii

The Hawaiians have a particular method for dealing with problems in everyday relationships: ‘Ho‘oponopono’. Whether it’s your partner, a friend, or a colleague at work whom you feel has done you wrong, Ho‘oponopono is a means of figuring out things by yourself rather than responding rashly and making things worse.

Allowing resentment to build will ultimately hurt you more than the person to whom it is aimed. Instead:

• Take a deep breath
• Find ten minutes to think things through
• Be grateful for what you have
• Forget your own needs for a moment and consider the other person’s point of view
• Express your own feelings calmly
• Work towards mutual forgiveness.

Norway

‘Friluftsliv’, or ‘free air life’, is the Norwegian practice of spending time in the outdoors. Aside from the benefits of fresh air, subjecting yourself to decent amounts of natural daylight can help you to regulate your sleep and stay in touch with the natural rhythms of the world around you.

If you spend most of your time indoors:

• Establish a morning and/or evening ‘outdoors ritual’, such as walking the dog
• Use every coffee break at work as an opportunity to get some fresh air
• If it’s warm enough, eat lunch outdoors; otherwise, take a stroll through the park before you eat indoors
• Look beyond the borders of your town. It’s usually easy to find a national park or natural area to visit on the weekends.

Germany

If the Norwegians are all about heading into nature by themselves to ‘re-connect’, Germans are more about reconnecting with each other. ‘Gemütlichkeit’ is that particularly German manner of celebrating togetherness with a frothy beer, a song and a dance.

To get some of this goodness in your own social life:

• Be careful not to take the people you live and work with for granted
• Never miss a chance to raise a toast
• Take time to greet people properly and say meaningful goodbyes, even if you see them every day.

Spain

The famous Spanish siesta is an endangered animal. Sadly, even as experts more frequently recommend an afternoon nap to boost workplace productivity, many business managers are concerned that lost time and energy is bad for profit margins.

To take a healthy, effective siesta:

• Nap for no more than thirty minutes
• Sleep in an armchair or sofa rather than a bed
• Make sure you do it regularly and not just as an occasional treat.

See Also: Get Strong, Sleep, Repeat: The Importance Of Sleeping

France

We are a generation of multi-taskers – but often, allowing our work and personal lives to overlap means doing a bad job at both and truly enjoying neither. A little daily ritual to demarcate the various areas of your life can help you more accomplished and relaxed. The French do this by taking a small drink between work and the evening meal: the apéritif.

To leave work behind for the day:

• Change into a new set of clean clothes as soon as you get home
• Switch off work notifications on your phone
• Pour yourself a drink of something special – it doesn’t have to be boozy!

Argentina, Uruguay, Paraguay, Brazil

In 1909, the French Society of Hygiene told us: “Yerba mate raises morale, sustains the muscular system, augments strength and allows one to endure privations.” What they did not mention is that drinking this special tea in the company of friends is also good for the soul.

To tap into the South American ritual of mate-tea drinking:

• Always offer a drink to everyone in the room when you’re brewing up
• Try to establish a ‘tea tray’ culture for meetings at work
• Try the real thing – yerba mate can be found in lots of health shops and some regular grocery stores.

Turkey

‘Keyif’ is all about idle moments of relaxation and contemplation. Remind yourself to take a couple of these each day – the manner of doing so is different from individual to individual.

To identify your moment of mindfulness:

• Slow down – take the long route from A to B, and never be in more than a hurry than you need
• Pay attention to what makes you happy, be it the sound of the breeze in a tree you walk past each day, or a particular seat in a café that makes you feel calm
• Try watching a few ASMR videos for some ideas on how the mundane can become almost transcendental.

Bosnia & Herzegovina

Bosnian people like to break up their morning with a slow coffee, brewed in a special pot and served with sugar or candy. It’s thick and tasty like Turkish coffee, but just as important is the symbolic side: taking time to discuss the day’s events or a business proposition.

• Enjoy tea or coffee as an experience in itself, not something to fuel you while you work
• Use your coffee break to talk to other people, rather than staring at your phone
• Look into buying a Bosnian coffee set online – it will change your life!

See Also: How to Supercharge Your Afternoon With a Napuccino (aka a Coffee Nap)

Nigeria

‘Ubuntu’ is the philosophy of putting the community ahead of the individual. Individuals become stronger in a healthy, happy community.

• Try asking questions or listening rather than interrupting when you think somebody is wrong
• Consider the benefits for your group as well as yourself when making decisions
• Look at each group task as an opportunity to learn or to teach.

Try just a handful of these happiness techniques from around the world, and you are sure to see your quality of life improve!

 

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How To Buy An Online Business You’ll Be Successful With

As the world of online trade and digital media continues to boom, the prospect of making a living over the internet has become an attractive one. However, despite how encouraging it is, not all people have the guts to start. Many of them are deterred by the prospect of having to start from scratch.

Building a successful website can seem like a daunting task to someone who has never done it before. In addition to a great design concept, you also need a comprehensive business plan, the know-how to improve your searchability and the right strategy to bring traffic to your website.

Fortunately, you can bypass a large part of the work by buying an online business that’s already existing. Once you find one with potential, all you need to do is keep it running and focus on its growth.

However, as is the case with any business venture, entering the world of E-commerce without sufficient prior knowledge could be disastrous. Some websites may appear to be promising acquisitions but require more work than you’d ever bargained for. Others may have a bad history or even be blacklisted.

Yet, these are not enough reasons for you to give up your dream of becoming an internet entrepreneur. Simply take some time to research your potential purchases and ensure you are fully prepared to work on your goal.

Of course, before you do any of this, you need an idea of the type of business you would like to own. If you want to stand out from the crowd, you have to be passionate about your endeavor.

Purchasing An E-commerce Site

If you are convinced to buy an online business, a good place to start is by browsing listings on an established marketplace, such as Exchange. There are numerous e-commerce business brokers to explore, with listings at all price points across a huge number of industries. (And if you’re into buying a website, check out Empire Flippers.)

However, it is not as simple as just finding an affordable existing site and expecting to turn it into a profitable venture. Unfortunately, some of the seemingly more affordable options may have hidden problems that could severely hinder your success. For example, the site may have been previously blacklisted or be under an AdSense ban.

As such, there are a few factors you ought to investigate before you start buying an online business.

The Good and the Bad

The true value of an online business lies in its potential for growth. When people purchase an existing business, it is generally either of the two reasons:

1. They have a passion for the industry and wish to grow the business as a long-term venture.

2. They plan to flip the website, increase its traffic, ranking and profitability before selling it.

Whichever you aim to do, you will need to investigate several factors in order to get a full measure of the business you are considering. Take, for example, the presence of an active community.

Check comments and forums in order to determine how many people are regularly using the site. Be aware of the site’s bounce rate- the higher it is, the more people simply navigate away from it.

Go over all links, titles and headings and check them for relevance and functionality. Factors, such as keyword density and authoritative functional backlinks, can impact the success of a website. Consider using the Wayback Machine to explore the site’s history and get a feel for how it could be improved.

The Right Price

For your investment to be worthwhile, it is vital not to overpay for your chosen business. However, determining the true value of an acquisition can be challenging, particularly if you are new to website brokerage. Fortunately, there are a few factors which can help you put together a more accurate picture of a site’s current value.

Existing revenue streams, such as AdSense, sales and donations. Do not be fooled by a recent spike in revenue. Instead, look at a site’s long-term performance to get a fairer idea of how the business performs on average.

Volume of traffic and its sources. Be sure to scrutinize traffic referrers. You could be fooled into thinking a site has high traffic but it may just be coming from dubious sites rather than Google or legitimate sources. Check also that you have traffic coming from websites, social media accounts and subscribers. Mailing lists can also be very valuable- if put to good use- as they allow you to connect with a site’s community and raise awareness about your site.

Page rankings. The better the site ranks in searches, the less work you may have to do to get it noticed. However, it is important to determine how many pages rank highly and for what reason. This will enable you to figure out how to optimize the site going forward.

Age of the domain. Older, established sites can have more favorable rankings as they’ve had time to build up a reputation and become more trusted by Google and other search engines.

Running costs. Don’t purchase a site without investigating the cost of keeping it online. Calculate the combined cost of the domain, hosting and security packages. Weigh these things against the potential profitability of the business.

Now that you have an idea of the site’s performance, the next step is to look for recently sold websites with similar statistics and within the same industry. This will give you a rough sense of what may be a fair price to offer.

Flipping, Clipping and Drop Shipping

Once you’ve found the business you want and have negotiated the terms of sale, it’s time to get started on making the website your own.

If there is existing content, you already have something to work with. However, you may need to reorganize and refresh the site’s content in order to boost SEO and generate a consistent, coherent voice throughout the website.

See Also: Get One Step Closer To Success: How To Make A Difference in e-Commerce SEO

Reach out to suppliers and make sure you know exactly what role you have to play in ensuring that the business runs smoothly.

If you have purchased a drop-shipping enterprise, your main responsibilities will be communication and increasing sales through marketing. Alternatively, if you sell a service or digital product, you will need to ensure that this remains up-to-date and relevant.

Engage with the site’s existing community to let them know what to expect going forwards. Pay attention to their feedback and work to build on what you already have. The first step could be to optimize the site’s layout, ensuring it displays and functions correctly on mobile devices and across all major browsers.

One way to speed up this process is to invest in an e-commerce CMS. Not only does this give you access to a range of tools with which to improve your domain authority, you can also uniformly rework the site’s aesthetic without interfering with sales.

Onwards and Upwards

Ultimately, it is not difficult to find and buy an online business. However, even the most promising venture requires time and effort if it is to continue to be profitable. You need to be prepared to continuously create content and keep your website up to date.

Make sure you have thoroughly considered the time and attention you will need to give your new enterprise. Ensure that you have a full understanding of its maintenance and running costs before you seal the deal. After all, whether you adopt a struggling business and transform it into a successful one or you purchase a more established website and make it even better, this transaction is only the beginning.

Nevertheless, if you keep these tips in mind, you can approach the world of website brokerage with confidence. From there, you will be able to seek out a business within your preferred industry and work towards developing the booming online enterprise you have always wanted.

See Also: The Average Joe’s Guide To Setting Up An Online Business

 

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How Our Smartphones Are Disconnecting Us and What To Do About It

“These days, whether you are online or not, it is easy for people to end up unsure if they are closer together or further apart.” ~Sherry Turkle, Alone Together

There was rarely a time when my partner didn’t have her phone in her hand or, at the very least, in a place she could quickly grab it.

We’d go out for a meal and it’d be there by her plate, positioned so she could dip in and out at any lull in the conversation.

We’d take a walk and she’d have me in one hand and it in the other, ready to take a photo or catch the next Facebook notification.

Even when we were in bed, if it wasn’t glued to her face, it’d be right by her side, lying between us like a small child who’d snuggled in for the night and ruined any chance of intimacy.

It wasn’t good for our relationship, to say the least. Especially considering that, however unhealthy her relationship with her phone was, mine was worse.

I didn’t realize it at the time. But in hindsight, I can see that most the time she retreated into her phone was when I’d long zoned out and been absorbed by mine: some random article or new app I’d downloaded, updates on the game or a group chat with work colleagues.

In that sense, we were perfect for each other. And looking around us, there didn’t seem anything too strange or excessive about our behavior. All our friends and the couples around us were also interacting with each other from beyond their screens, and they seemed perfectly happy — at least according to their Instagram posts.

But something wasn’t right. Sure, we had our problems, I knew that. But it was something more than that: we were missing that deep feeling of connection. You know, that feeling you get when your partner understands you, without having to say a word. Or the fulfillment of being alone together and feeling like you’re the only two people in the world.

Surely this fundamental pillar of how you feel about someone had nothing to do with our little glowing screens. So, none the wiser to what was going on, things gradually got worse and, eventually, we broke up.

I wasn’t blind enough to see our phones had something to do with it, though. I mean, not being able to talk for two minutes without one of us phubbing the other was clearly an issue. And the non-stop messaging whenever we were apart couldn’t have been good for us.

So when a similar thing started to happen with my current partner—both of us spending more time with our devices than each other and a feeling of disconnection growing between us—I knew there was something going on. And if one thing was for sure, whatever it was, I wasn’t prepared to let it ruin another relationship.

I started to look more closely at our phone use and put it under the microscope: why was it happening? Why did I prefer Candy Crush over spending time together? Why did we talk more via text than real life?

What I found completely changed our relationship. Not only that, it changed my relationships with friends, family, and everyone I meet. And what’s best about it, I haven’t had to disconnect from social media or give up any of my beloved devices.

I discovered the real issue wasn’t the physical presence of the phone, but rather how it had changed our idea of communication and influenced how we interact together.

A prime example of this is phubbing — when your partner uses their phone while you’re talking.

This was an everyday occurrence in my relationship. My partner would often ask me, “How was your day?”, and start phubbing the hell out of me just moments into my response. I always thought she just wasn’t interested and was just being rude, but that wasn’t half the story.

Because instant messaging was now our primary mode of communication, we’d trained ourselves to take words solely on face value — like you would a text or email.

And so we would never stop to look beyond what was being laid out on the surface and consider all the other information-rich signals that make up the majority of communication—facial gestures, eye contact, tone, body language, and the emotions driving them all.

Whenever we spoke, it was more like a means to an end. Something we did because we had to. Conversation was a chore that consisted of generic, predetermined questions and equally humdrum answers. All delivered in a way that was monotonous and unappreciative of the other’s attention and contributions.

So it’ll be no surprise to hear our conversations were never stimulating and meaningful. And because of this, we robbing ourselves the chance to foster that deep sense of connection and understanding that’s so vital to a healthy relationship.

Phubbing was only the tip of the iceberg. But it was enough to realize the fundamental effects phones were having on my relationships and wake me up to how they were undermining my ability to connect with people.

Today, by simply being more aware of how we use our devices, me and my partner are closer than ever.

What’s more, now we don’t use our phones as much as the average couple, but it’s not because we’re following orders from a couples therapist or because some rule from a relationship handbook told us to. We do it because we stay up all night talking and forget about them. Or because we go on a long walk and accidentally leave them at home.

We do it because we’ve got back in touch with those deep, visceral feelings that nothing on Twitter or Facebook could ever come close to. And because there’s no way we’re going to let them fade away again.

About Joseph Pennington

Joseph is a Freelance Writer & author of the new Ebook: Your Relationship Is Phubbed: 14 Ways Smartphones Are F*cking Up Your Relationships, Why It's Happening & How To Reconnect Without Disconnecting. Download it here for FREE, for a limited time only!

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Unlocking Japan’s Secrets to Healthy Skin

If there’s one trait all Japanese women share, it’s their fresh, glowing skin. It doesn’t matter if she is 20 or 60 years old, every Japanese woman seems to have a flawless, radiant complexion.

This begs the question, what is their beauty secrets to having porcelain-like skin? How do they manage to look younger and more graceful as they age?

While there’s no magic formula for youthful skin, these lovely ladies do have certain beauty secrets that help them maintain their fair complexions.

Here are some of Japan’s most treasured beauty ingredients, which are used in most of their makeup and skin products:

• Tsubaki flower

Tsubaki, also known as camellia, is a flowering plant found in southern and eastern Asia. The tsubaki flower offers a range of benefits for the skin.

The oil extracted from camellia seeds is rich in omega-6 fatty acids and numerous polyphenol antioxidants. Its creamy, non-greasy nature makes it a great moisturizer for rough skin. The oil also has many properties that keep your skin fresh, supple and moist.

Tsubaki flower oil contains vast amounts of omega-9 oleic fatty acid, which increases the skin’s ability to retain moisture. It is absorbed into the skin as easily as water and it boosts cell growth. It lends flexibility and support to the skin, too.

The oil permeates right down to the inner layers of the skin, nourishing it from the inside and hydrating any dry patches. It is a natural transdermal carrier that transports essential proteins (elastin and collagen) and nutrients, replenishing skin cells and repairing damage caused by heat, dryness and aging.

Camellia oil is free from irritants and is suitable for use on sensitive skin. It opens up the pores and allows the body to remove harmful toxins naturally through sweat glands.

• Yuzu

Yuzu is an aromatic citrus fruit of Chinese and Tibetan origin. It was first introduced in Japan during the Tang dynasty. Both the pulp and the seeds are beneficial for your skin.

The fruit is known for its potent antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties. It has vast stores of vitamin C and flavonoids. Because of that, this fruit can help combat the harmful radicals that can cause premature aging.

Yuzu fruit is a popular skin revitalizing and nourishing agent. It tones the skin naturally and adds to its firmness and vitality.

Regular use of yuzu moistens and refreshes the skin layers. The oil extracted from yuzu softens and nourishes the skin, giving it a supple and radiant appearance. During winter solstice, it is an ancient practice to take relaxing and rejuvenating yuzu baths at home or in onsens.

• Sakura

Sakura, also known as cherry blossom, is one of the two national flowers of Japan (the other is chrysanthemum). It is one of Japan’s best-kept beauty secrets and is used extensively in skin creams and perfumes.

The sakura flower is rich in antioxidants and helps cleanse the body of impurities and pollutants that damage the skin. Its store of essential fatty acids fortifies the skin’s natural barriers, making it smooth and supple.

Sakura extract promotes a firm, mature complexion, regenerating the skin from the inside out. Its anti-glycation properties promote collagen formation in fibroblast cells.

Sakura extract cleans and whitens the skin and combats signs of anti-aging. It inhibits the production of melanin, a dark-brown or black pigment, thereby restoring uneven skin pigmentation. The extract also promotes skin cell growth and combats cell death caused by advanced glycation-end products (AGE).

It has powerful anti-inflammatory properties that help to soothe and heal irritated skin. Furthermore, sakura flower reduces the oxidative damage that causes signs of anti-aging.

• Ume

Ume is a flowering plant used in Japan for its medicinal and cosmetic properties. The common name for ume is plum blossom. The fruit is a rich source of natural antioxidants called phytochemicals. These substances help to combat the effects of oxygen radicals in the body, keeping the internal systems functioning smoothly. It prevents signs of premature aging, including wrinkles and fine lines.

The ume fruit has abundant stores of vitamin C, which detoxifies the body of impure chemicals. This property helps promote a radiant and healthy skin complexion. Ume contains anti-aging nutrients that help to reduce wrinkles and dark spots. You can find it in various Japanese face masks and creams that can help soothe, hydrate and rejuvenate the skin.

• Rice bran

Rice bran is a byproduct of rice milling. It contains vast reserves of antioxidants, vitamins B and E and essential fatty acids that combat harmful radicals in the body. It is rich in tocotrienols, which are absorbed into the inner layers of the skin. They form the first line of defense against free radicals. Tocotrienols also restore damage caused by oxidative rays, repairing the skin and slowing the skin aging process.

Rice bran cleans the skin from the inside out, causing it to appear fresh and healthy. The phytonutrient and oryzanol in rice bran acts as an effective sunscreen, protecting the skin against lipid peroxidation caused by UV light. Gamma oryzanol contains ferulic acid, which has anti-aging properties.

See Also: 10 Best Skin Foods For Healthy Glowing Skin

• Algae

Algae refers to a diverse range of photosynthetic organisms known for their nutritive and medicinal value. They are rich in anti-inflammatory compounds, such as chlorophyll and omega-3 fatty acids. This makes them ideal for treating irritated skin. They have potent antioxidant properties that help to eradicate free radicals and pollutants from the body.

Algae also combat the effects of oxidative damage to plasma and red blood cells. They support skin cell repair and growth, healing your skin from the inside out and cancelling signs of aging caused by dead skin cells.

• Green tea

Green tea is an herbal drink made from steaming or roasting fresh Camellia sinensis leaves. It’s a popular component of traditional Japanese medicine. Today, you can find it in skin creams and beauty masks.

Green tea is very beneficial for skincare. It contains a store of antioxidants that help in flushing out toxins from the skin. It has strong anti-inflammatory properties, making it ideal for soothing itchy skin and healing blemishes and scars.

Green tea is rich in tannin, an astringent that works really well in treating dark circles and puffy eyes. Its reserves of antioxidants and astringents help to soothe inflamed blood vessels under the eyes, thereby reducing swelling or ‘bags’.

The free radicals floating in the body cause the skin to sag, wrinkle and age prematurely. Green tea contains powerful antioxidants, such as vitamin C and catechins, which combat the dermal damage caused by these radicals.

The catechins present in green tea act as a defense against acne-causing bacteria. They also regulate hormonal imbalance in the body, one of the main causes of acne.

Furthermore, green tea acts as a natural skin toner that cleanses impurities, reduces large pores and hydrates the skin. Using it regularly can give the skin a fresh and healthy appearance.

See Also: How To Reduce Caffeine In Green Tea

These ingredients are some of Japan’s biggest beauty secrets. Using them regularly will keep your skin healthy and radiant as you age.

The post Unlocking Japan’s Secrets to Healthy Skin appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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Life Is Short—Don’t Wait to Do That Thing You’ve Always Dreamed of Doing

“Life is short. Say what you’ve wanted to say. Do what you’ve wanted to do. Don’t wait until the only thing you can say is, I wish I’d had the courage to do it sooner.” ~Lori Deschene

Lunch hour.

Escaping the stale, re-circulated air of my office, I fled down Main Street in pursuit of freedom from the routine of the day.

A rusty bell clanged against the door of a dusty used bookstore when I pushed it open.

Scanning the horizon of bulging shelves and teetering stacks of magazines, my eyes suddenly met his and my heart began to race.

They were the blazing orange eyes of an African lion on the dog-eared, sun-faded cover of a National Geographic magazine.

I hadn’t seen those eyes in thirty years, but their impact on me hadn’t faded.

As a kid I use to spend hours dreaming within the pages of these very magazines before cutting out pictures of unsuspecting lions and elephants to carry them around in a small wicker basket—a somewhat seventies version of a vision board.

One Sunday night, I brought a three-page book I had written about these magical creatures complete with pasted-in cut-outs, to the dining room table where everyone had gathered for dinner.

Feeling proud with accomplishment, I handed it to my dad, a retired Naval officer, who held it up and began to read it aloud—only soon he couldn’t read anymore, for he was laughing so hard and so was everyone else.

Of course they were just laughing because they thought it was cute, but I was only six years old. How could I possibly have known that?

That day I stopped playing with magazine cut-outs of African animals and writing silly little stories to paste them into.

That day I stopped dreaming about Africa.

Have you ever had a dream that got away?

Have you ever wanted to do something—paint sunsets, sing opera, run marathons, design skyscrapers—but stopped yourself before you even tried because it wasn’t realistic, practical or, in–line with what your family/friends/co-workers expected of you?

When we shelve our dreams, the human experience runs the risk of feeling more like a life sentence of obligations.

When the lunch hour was up I returned to work with an African lion tucked under my arm.

In the days that followed, I looked at that magazine often, dreaming of being under a blazing crimson African sky, only now that sky was clouded with regret.

The opportunity of spending a ‘gap year’ volunteering in Africa or joining the Youth Corps had long since passed.

Or had it? Yes, it’s true I couldn’t go to Africa for several months, but maybe I could volunteer in Africa for a few weeks.

Over the next several weeks I gave myself permission to at least play with the idea. I began to research short-term volunteer opportunities in Africa with lions, elephants, and all the other magical animals I use to tote around in that little wicker basket.

I began to budget, barter, and save, determined to make it happen.

Even that old, worn-out lion on the magazine cover seemed to be perking up as the puzzle of a plan began to come together.

Months later that lion, now freed from its magazine, was tucked into my passport folder as I boarded a plane for Cape Town, South Africa to volunteer on an African animal conservation project.

Thrill and excitement deafened the echoes of friends and co-workers who thought I was going to Africa because I was ‘lost’ or approaching a mid-life crisis.

No, I’m going to Africa because I want to stop saying, I wish I’d done it sooner.

I arrived and met my boss, a khaki-clad, burly, young (ten years my junior) South African ranger named Gary.

With big, strong hands on his hips, he eyed my tennis shoes and embellished denim clam diggers and said,

“Let me guess, you’re here because you dreamed of Africa.”

“Yes!” I beamed.

He grunted and said, “Well it’s time to wake up, Canada. This is a working game reserve; these are wild animals.”

“Okay.”

“You’ll be sleeping alone over there in that tent. The electrical wire mostly keeps the animals out.”

“Ooooo.K.”

“And one last thing, Canada. Out here you’re going to have to learn to play with a lion’s testicles.”

“What?! That wasn’t in the brochure! And even if it was, I won’t do that!”

“Relax, Canada,” he said. “It’s a local expression. It means you’re going to have to get out of your comfort zone, take some risks. Have the courage of a lion.”

The next morning when we began our patrol in an open-air jeep under a symphony of red, orange, lavender, and yellow hues playing above as the African sunrise came to life.

Silhouettes of giant African elephants appeared in the morning mist.

I was no longer dreaming in the pages of a National Geographic magazine, I was living them.

Moments later Gary parked the jeep and handed me a rusty, heavy shovel and said, “Time to shovel sh*t.”

Elephant dung. Mountains of it. It will be used as fertilizer in the reserve’s sustainable vegetable garden.

Within fifteen minutes my back was aching, my new work gloves were stretched out and so slippery with dung and sweat they refused to stay on my hands.

This wasn’t the dream of Africa I had. This was beginning to feel more like a nightmare.

I began to question myself.

You came all the way to Africa to shovel elephant dung?

Maybe my dream of Africa was a silly childhood vision.

Maybe I was lost and should have spent this money on therapy instead.

What would my friends and co-workers say if they could see me now, knee deep in dung, barely able to lift this antiquated shovel?

They’d think I was a fool.

Humiliation began to creep over me, engulf me even.

But then I remembered Gary’s words; playing with a lion’s testicles was a huge step out of my comfort zone. I needed to have the courage of a lion. Lions don’t complain. They’re the king of the jungle because there’s nowhere they won’t go.

And the lioness is the hunter, the conqueror, the fearless female who doesn’t back away from anything.

And hey, I’m in Africa. I am in Africa.

This elephant dung will help feed a village, and I get to contribute to something meaningful, something bigger than my mouthy little ego.

Get out of your head and focus on that.

I dug in deep. This was my dream, to come to Africa. As I became heavy with appreciation, the shovel lightened up.

Days were spent rebuilding roads one stone at a time, by hand, darting a grumpy Rhinoceros who needed hormone therapy, tree planting within the lion’s camp as a pride of (satiated) lions looked on and moving more mountains of elephant dung.

The elation, the satisfaction, the joy of being in this place was even greater than I had imagined and dreamed.

It was the first time in my life I felt real and true meaning.

It was the first time in my life I felt purpose.

It was the first time in my life my soul was satisfied.

And the irony was, it was the first time in my life I was paying to do a job instead of getting paid to do one.

The more I gave of myself, the more I received.

As my project came to a close, I removed the now almost unrecognizable lion cut-out from the pocket of my denim clam diggers and placed it with a young tree sapling in the lion’s camp.

I no longer needed to tote him around for my dream of going to Africa had been realized.

Sometimes we believe our dream has to be huge and world-changing, or at the very least net us millions of dollars so it has the stamp of society approval on it.

Whether you’re moving mountains, or just moving mountains of elephant dung, a dream is still a dream, and it’s yours.

The shadow of regret is only ever a decision away; we can keep it at bay by having the courage to play with our dreams.

So how do we play?

P – Give yourself permission to pursue possibilities and reshape your dreams to meet your current reality.

L – Lay low. Don’t feel like you have to tell everyone what you’re going to do. Tell them what you did, that way you won’t be bogged down by other’s fears and doubts. Not everyone will be your cheerleader.

A – Acknowledge your fears and doubts. When they appear, it means you’re doing something that’s meaningful to you, otherwise fear wouldn’t bother showing up.

Y – Why not? You deserve to play, to discover and uncover those things and experiences that make your heart beat a little faster. You are worthy because you were gifted the gift of life.

You don’t have to go to Africa to play with a lion’s testicles. You can play wherever you are.

About Melissa Haynes

Melissa Haynes is an author, TEDx speaker and mom to two princesses who rule her kingdom of chaos. She is a wildlife advocate, chaser of dreams and cheerleader to everyone else pursuing their dreams. Her book, Learning to Play with a Lion’s Testicles, can be found here. Her TEDx talk by the same title can be seen here.

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