Balancing Work and Study: 4 Highly Effective Tips You Need to Try

If you are a student, you’ve probably thought of getting a job. But is it possible to work and study at the same time?

The answer is yes.

To be successful in balancing work and study, here are some tips and tricks you can consider.

Find a Job Based on What You Are Studying

It might seem difficult but it is not impossible!

For example, if you are pursuing a degree in History, you could look for jobs that can help you improve and learn more about your course. Universities are often looking for students who want to get involved.

You can help with different organization or your school’s administrative tasks. Either way, you’ll have the opportunity to interact with successful people who surely have a lot to teach you. Plus, you’ll be able to earn while learning, too.

Filling your resume with field-related experience also increases your chances of getting a job after you graduate. Employers appreciate related experience.

Become the Master of Time Management

Your schedule might be pretty tight if you’re working and studying at the same time. This is a challenging situation but you need to stay committed to make it through.

The key to balancing work and study successfully is to manage and organize your tasks carefully. Take into consideration using an agenda. It helps a lot! You can plan all the activities you have to do and, while time passes, you’ll get used to using it.

Every person in the world has the same amount of hours in a day, the same amount of days in a month, and months in a year. If others can make it work, so can you. Make changes to your current schedule until you have full control over your time. Follow this schedule to optimize your tasks.

See Also: 5 Essential Time Management Tips to Live By

Take Breaks

Of course, you might feel overwhelmed because it is not easy to work and study at the same time. Every once in a while, a break might help a lot. Don’t bury yourself under a pile of articles and lessons right after you come back from work.

Take your time and relax! Of course, it is also important not to push it and start procrastinating. Limit the length of your break and follow your agenda.

Enjoy a couple of hours with your friends, take a walk with your dog, and do some morning exercise to keep the energy levels high. Something as simple as your favorite chocolate can make things better, as long as you keep track of your schedule.

See Also: Five Things To Do Right Now To Stop Procrastinating

Keep Your Motivation Level High

At first, you could feel that everything is possible and that you can make it through without problems. The boost of motivation you have at the beginning is incredible and it gives you amazing powers.

But, with time, you might feel overwhelmed or tired and so your level of motivation might decrease. It will become harder and harder to do your assignments after a long day at work.

Reward yourself after you finish reading your lessons. Keep in mind that you do not have to give yourself amazing rewards. A chocolate, watching a movie or going for a walk will surely help. Besides that, you’ll have more energy and you will retain the information easily. Receiving small rewards after accomplishing tasks makes it easier to retain information.

Conclusion

Of course, it is not an easy job balancing work and study. Both of them are important for us and we should take care of both aspects. Although it might seem challenging at first, and it is, you should probably keep in mind that it’s not impossible.

By successfully managing your time and your breaks, you can easily achieve work-study balance. And remember, this is just a transition period towards adulthood. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do!

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It’s Not What You Have But How You Feel That Makes You Rich

One day, while riding the train, I overheard a cry for help. Sure, the young lady sitting across from me was literally crying.

“If only I was rich,” she said. “If only I was rich!”

“I know, Babe . . . I know,” responded her friend in hopes of consoling her.

What started out as watching from afar, as if I were some nosy neighbor peeking from a window, turned into full-blown observation. What struck me most peculiar of all- for some reason- was the word “rich.”

After mulling over the thought for a second or two, I turned to Google for help.

Rich = Abundantly Supplied

The search engine instantly returned a definition.

Rich: abundantly supplied.

So, I asked myself: “Does that girl look ‘abundantly supplied’?”

Well, I see an iPhone 7 in her hand and a Louis Vuitton purse on her lap.

Then, I got to thinking: to be “abundantly supplied” means to have more than you need.

When I’m sitting around the table with family at Thanksgiving and everyone feels more stuffed than does the turkey, everybody is abundantly supplied. In other words, so far as food goes, we’re all rich because we have more food than we need.

What about housing?

Every non-homeless person is abundantly supplied. The same line of reasoning goes for the rest of the basic necessities. Once the basic necessities are met, all bodily needs are abundantly supplied.

The Mind is Everything

Unlike bodily needs which require basic necessities to satisfy basic desires, mental desires and needs are almost always abstract in nature. For this reason, we, as humans, can transcend meeting basic needs.

Just think of the people who still manage to crack a smile even when their bodies don’t feel comfortable during a fast. And think of depressed people. Although they have their basic needs met, they can’t manage to smile.

With that, remember this:

The best things in life are not only free but- get this- they’re not even things!

What Makes You Rich

See Also: 10 Mind Exercises That Will Teach You How To Build Self Confidence

When the Beatles famously sang “Money Can’t Buy Me Love”, they could’ve easily added “Money Can’t Buy Me Happiness, Peace or Even Riches”.

Aye, there’s the rub!

There’s no amount of money that can make you feel rich.

Why?

Because it’s not what you have but how you feel that makes you rich. This is by no means a revolutionary idea.

The wise men of yesterday used to say that it is better to be born lucky than rich.

Indeed, if you’re lucky enough to be a happy person, which ultimately depends on how you interpret reality, no amount of gold or lack thereof can ever affect your disposition.

This explains why Socrates went so far as to say that “he is richest who is content with the least, for content is the wealth of nature.”

And it is this wealth of nature which Shakespeare called his crown “a crown it is that seldom kings enjoy”.

What Socrates and Shakespeare both understood was that words such as happiness and riches are nothing but synonyms for contentment. In fact, contentment can be likened to a girl who wakes up in the morning in her natural state—stank breath and all.

When that same girl goes to her stylist and makeup artist, she transforms into the supermodel Happiness. Presto! She now can strut her stuff on the runway.

But when the show is over, Happiness—as did Cinderella—turns back into her natural self: plain ol’ Contentment.

If to be content means merely to be satisfied, then real wealth can only be measured by having as much money as you need, not want. After all, if happiness is a state of mind and everything about the mind is invisible.

To expect something invisible to give you happiness would be equivalent to expecting your eyes to let you see a ghost. This point may best be illustrated by the following thought experiment.

The World’s Richest Poor Man

Imagine traveling back to the year 1720. Think that you were born into royalty.

Being born with such luck, you have all the power and riches in the world. But here’s the catch: you’ve already tasted what life is like in the 21st century.

Now, here’s where the true nature of riches reveals itself.

As a king living in the 18th century, the average lifespan was about 35 years. Today’s average life expectancy is roughly 80 years.

So, let’s say you endured the harshest conditions possible, such as living homeless. That would probably cut off about a decade from your lifespan. Yet, that still leaves you off two times better than the richest king in the eighteenth century.

But such a case study would fail to reflect the average conditions of someone living today because most people aren’t homeless.

Most people have access to the basic conveniences, like smartphones, TVs and so forth. Think about it: Your Majesty didn’t even have a dumb-phone in his palace.

There are so many luxuries taken for granted today that would have so far exceeded the imagination of people from another age.

In Closing

People living today may never see how lucky they are if they continue to compare their status with others- probably just like the woman in front of me.

After waking up from my daydream, it finally dawned on me: the only thing in life that can make you poor is a poor attitude. Bingo!

Never saw it in that light. But, of course, the poor queen sitting across from me won’t be able to hear about my bright idea and fairy tales of poor kings.

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How Has Trade Changed Over Time

The Four Burners Theory and Managing Life

If we want to be successful this year, it’s important to streamline our plans and priorities. This way, we can achieve our maximum potential over the next coming months.

We all spend our lives juggling priorities and making sacrifices in some areas of our lives to excel in others. We burn ourselves out focusing on one goal while all of our other priorities get neglected.

The “Four Burners Theory” depicts life as four burners on top of a stove, each represents a core area in our lives.

Those four core areas include health, work, family, and friends. They divide our time, emotions, strength, and energy on a day-to-day basis.

We can harness our inner energy and grow across all four quadrants or we can choose to excel in only the areas that truly matter to us.

You can make your choices. After all, you control your own destiny.

What The Four Burners Theory Teaches Us

The Four Burners Theory teaches us that to be successful, we must cut off one of our burners. To be really successful, we must cut off two!

But would you trade family and friends for improved health and a better career? Would you leave your job or risk your health for family or friends?

Or are there ways to embrace this theory? Can you use it to your advantage to get the most out of life?

Maximize Productivity

You can become 100% more productive by following these points!

It would be difficult to allocate all of your time to one burner without dire consequences to the other three burners in your life.

Think about it.

What is the most important burner in your life right now? Are you spending enough time with your family or are you working too much?

Are you letting your health slip in order to work harder? When was the last time you sat down with friends and relaxed?

Once you’ve established which area to focus on, ask yourself some more questions…

• Can I spend time working out on my lunch hour?
• Can I exercise with my family with a fun activity or sport?
• How can I manage my time to become more productive at work?

By asking those simple questions, you can start managing your time more efficiently- without sacrificing a burner.

Outsource and Delegate

It’s up to you to decide how much or how little you do, but give yourself a break!

Modern life is full of difficult choices but it’s also full of positive opportunities and potentially magnificent outcomes.

Delegating or outsourcing certain tasks can seriously take the pressure off of your four burners, freeing up more time and allowing you to do the things you enjoy more often.

Applying this idea to just one quadrant of your life will immediately free up time for you to focus on the other three burners.

Here are some examples of how you can outsource each burner in order to maximize your time and effort.

Health: Instead of spending ten hours a week in the gym, develop a plan that will dramatically improve your overall well-being in just 5 hours or 30 minutes a day. Research online and consider diet and nutrition combined with exercise in order to maximize your overall well-being in just a short time. One of the easiest ways is to drink enough water each day.

Work: If there are tasks that you can outsource online or to your staff, then why are you still doing them? Sometimes, allowing others to complete arduous tasks on your behalf can free up time and maximize your overall productivity. Don’t be afraid to delegate!

Family: Have you considered day-care for your children or hiring a babysitter while you free up time to focus on the other three burners of your life? Have you considered hiring a cleaner so that you can spend an extra hour or two with your children or spouse? Think of all the options available that can make family life and time easier for you.

Friends: Delegating or outsourcing for your health, family, and work will ultimately give you more time to enjoy life with your friends. When was the last time you talked to a friend?

See Also: 5 Reasons to Outsource Your Crazy Life

The Seasons of Life

Remember, every season can feel like summer if you’re focused and motivated!

If you split your life into seasons and spend time focusing on a particular burner, this will lead to mastery in that area of your life.

There are several reasons why this can be beneficial:

• You can travel on longer vacations with your family and friends.
• You can set aside time to work on projects that you previously had no free time for.
• By dimming one burner or two, the others will spark and fire up brighter, leading to passion and understanding in key quadrants of your life.

Work-life balance is important. Using the above examples and ideas, fire up your inner stove and focus on the things that mean the most to you. Divide, delegate, constrain and most of all…

Be true to yourself and light the burners with the fire within your soul!

What is the most important burner in your life today?

A Work-Life Balance? 8 Steps to Help You Juggle It All

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How to Survive a Mass Shooting: 8 Actionable Tips from Experts

One of the worst mass shootings in the United States is the Las Vegas shooting incident which has woken up everyone worldwide. Even I was deeply affected by the news as I read through what victims and the families of the dead have endured during the tragic event.

Because of what has happened, hundreds of people around the area and thousands of people all over the world probably have one thing in mind: How to survive a mass shooting?

To help spread awareness, we’re listing down the crucial steps which can help save lives if such incident happens. Here’s what you need to keep in mind.

Run Away

This is your first priority. Do your best to escape and run away as far as you can from the shooter.

Make sure that you have identified the escape routes around the building or area you are in. While running, avoid any rooms or areas where you can hear gunfire.

React Fast

If you do hear gunfire or panic ensure around you, do NOT freeze up or waste precious seconds trying to figure out what you should do next.

Go look for the escape route nearest to you. Take off anything that can slow you down, like your heels or your bag. Run in the opposite direction of those gunshots.

Do not bother trying to pack your belongings. They aren’t as important as your life!

Run to the Exit

When you run towards the exit, go straight ahead.

If you need to take cover from the shooter who’s blocking or following you to the exit, create a zigzag motion to make it harder for him to shoot you. If that’s not the case, simply run straight ahead and focus on your escape.

Bring Others

When you are running to the exit, it’s best to bring others around you or to encourage them to run with you. If they aren’t able to run, then drag them.

Just like saving yourself and looking for a way out, saving others should be a priority as well. Plus, it makes it harder for the shooter to target individuals when running as a group.

Hide

If you aren’t able to go to the nearest escape routes or if the shooter is around and the exit is blocked, then the next thing you should do is to hide in any room.

When you find an empty room to hide in, lock and barricade the door and try calling an emergency number while doing so. Get any weapon you can use to strike the attacker if he approaches you.

Take Cover

While you are finding cover, look for places that will be able to stop a bullet. Think of walls, thick trees or support beams.

For those in an office, hide behind a heavy desk or cabinet that would not restrict movement. Turn off whatever can make a noise, including your phone or watch. While hiding, stay cool and collected to avoid being noticed.

Teamwork Helps

If you manage to get other people to run or hide beside you, then it helps to assign tasks to everyone. One can keep watch while others try to connect to the authorities.

Play Dead

And if everything else fails and you are unable to escape or find cover while the shooter is active, then play dead. If ever the shooter does catch you, you can attack.

Do NOT bother reasoning out and simply attack with whatever sharp or heavy object you can find. Commit yourself to it until the weapon is out of the shooter’s hands or he is injured.

Wrapping It Up

And there you have it!

I hope that this article on how to survive a mass shooting helped you become more knowledgeable about what you need to do to keep yourself and others safe and alive.

All my thoughts and prayers are with the victims and families of the dead. Hopefully, we don’t get to read another news about mass shootings ever again.

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Become Happier Today

Are you happy? How to be happy everyday?

This is a really subjective question when you think about it.

Happiness can’t really be measured easily through quantitative measures. Happiness is dependent on a lot of things, including your circumstances.

But one thing is for certain. You need to develop certain habits in order to become happier overall.

Factors Leading To Greater Happiness

Though happiness may be subjective and deeply personal, there is still a basic formula to it. Factors that affect our general happiness include economic, social, and the state of our health.

• Economic -Income, employment, career
• Social – Education, friends, family life, peer interaction
• Health – Mental, physical, access to healthcare

The Happiest Place Isn’t Where You Think

Contrary to popular belief, that amusement park with animals isn’t the happiest place on earth- for that you’d want to visit Norway.

Residing in a cold and often dark climate, Norwegians’ survival depends on strong community support and close communities. Norway is also one of the wealthiest countries on the planet and their economic and security benefits offer universal education and family allowance.

Apart from that, Norway also:

• Sees months with very little sunlight and the natural vitamins that boost the brain’s “happy” receptors
• Is the fourth wealthiest country in the world based on GDP per capita
• Offers free education in the university level for all citizens

America’s Happiness

The US comes in at #19 of 155 countries in terms of happiness, far behind Norway. From social unrest, healthcare concerns to education, the level of happiness Americans express is less than ideal.

The case of American happiness is a unique one and the following are cited as contributors to their decreased happiness:

• Perception of lowered personal freedoms, such as body pat downs and invasive government surveillance
• Income inequality issues and deteriorating educational systems
• Political unrest and a general frustration with current political climates

Though it’s clear Americans collectively have a lot on their mind, it isn’t all bad. In fact, the happiness level and optimism of Americans are rising.

• In 2017, 33% of Americans say they are happy (an increase from 31% in 2016)
• 86% of Americans say they have positive relationships with their family members
• 72% of Americans express they are optimistic about the future

Happy Habits Are The Key

When it comes to happiness there is a no one-size-fits-all solution. We all must approach happiness on our own terms. That said, there are steps that encourage happiness as a habit.

Here are some of them:

Practice gratitude: Psychology research shows that feelings of gratitude and thankfulness are associated with happiness.
Embrace and accept negative feelings: By acknowledging the full spectrum of our emotions, we can better appreciate the complexity of life.
Place a higher value on time than money: Prioritizing time is a behavior associated with greater happiness.
Practicing compassion and generosity with others: This will lead to more self-compassion and less negative self-talk

See Also: 8 Inspiring Habits of Happy People

Even physical effects can make us feel happy. Even just spending some time outdoors can do wonders for one’s mood and can even help establish happy habits.

• Serotonin is secreted when the eyes come into contact with sunlight.
• Vitamin D, produced when UV rays hit the skin, literally makes us feel happier.
• Simply forcing a smile can “trick” the brain into feeling happy.

Happy people do have some traits in common with one another.

Living in the moment: Happy people seek out new experiences, even if they may seem a little scary at first.
Goal-focused and big-picture oriented: Happy people don’t necessarily sweat the small stuff but still keep the endgame in sight.
Optimistic and idealistic: Instead of dwelling on the problems of the world, happy people tend to be more proactive.

How Can You Become Happier Today?

The happiest man in the world, Matthieu Ricard, meditates daily for at least 15 minutes on happy thoughts and compassion. Start this habit today and see how it can uplift your mood.

Learn more about the habits of the world’s happiest people from this infographic!

See Also: 5 Key Insights For A Happy Life From Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations

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3 Important Factors to Consider for an Effective Business Analysis

The first time I thought about the success of various big organizations, I used to feel that their success was just a result of some huge luck. I also thought that the founder of those organizations had a lot of money in stock before they started their businesses.

I started studying what could have led to their huge success and how they were able to maintain their growth in today’s most challenging business era. This is when I realized the strategic utilization of business analysis.

“If you invest more in analyzing your business challenges today and identifying the most effective solution for future challenges, one day, you will not have to struggle, but will sit in one place and watch your hard work pay off.” -Chidiebere Moses Ogbodo

The reason I admire the job of business analysts is that those experts understood and learned from yesterday’s businesses and they apply tried and tested ideas with today’s trends. Isn’t that awesome?

I will explain the three factors of an effective business analysis, but before that let me share a story with you.

On a good Friday morning, I was walking down the street of Amagu Akegbe Ugwu. I met a good friend of mine who was running a supermarket.

You know how lucrative this business can be especially when it is in a target area and you are providing what the people need and with good discount rates.

I asked him how his business was going and he replied that it’s not so good. He has invested a huge amount of money and hardly gained a good return on his investment.

I thought for a while and asked again if he had the time to think of what could be the reason for such challenges. He responded that he was not having enough time.

As a businessman, his schedule is very tight.

Now, you see the problem?

If you must succeed in your business, you must first plan, prepare, and wait for the opportunity to strike hard. If you are keen on identifying people’s problems and solving them, then you’re good to go in your business.

A good example is Facebook.

Why do I say so?

This organization dedicates time to listen to its customers. Whatever they may be complaining about, the business will work hard to resolve it soon. It also implements one or two new things to keep users interested and engaged.

The 3 Factors to Consider in your Business Analysis Quest

• Customer Satisfaction

Your customer should be the main focus of your business.

If you have a product and there is no one to pay for it, then it will be just a waste.

If there is one thing you need to consider this year, it’s to analyze the concern of each customer you have. Provide them with the most suitable solutions.

If a customer realizes that you are giving him/her personalized attention, he/she will always come back for your services. Everybody needs caring and people will go to where more of it is coming.

• Employee Growth

The happier your employees are, the more motivated they’ll be in working towards your organization’s goals.

An effective leader identifies the individuality of their employees, listens to their problems, and responds to them promptly.

Business analysis involves the process of engaging your employees to express themselves at every level in the organization. When employees understand that their employer knows them by their individual names and specific features, they will never think of leaving the organization. This is a very good trait of an innovative company.

See Also: What Can Employers Do For Employee Appreciation Day?

• Organizational Innovation

The environmental changes, industrial growth, and important trends that relate to your organization must be identified and properly integrated.

An organization that is fast in implementing or incorporating the latest trends in the industry carries the highest chance of succeeding.

So, extend your business analysis to adequately address the industry trends. There should always be continuity and a clear path towards your organizational goals.

To achieve that, you need to identify what’s working and what’s not. Once you have identified what’s working, fortify it with more investments.

If I was the Business Analyst in Your Organization

• I will ensure that there is a timely and result-oriented identification of solutions to the challenges that the organization may face.
• I will try to know what concerns my customers and provide solutions even before they ask for it.
• To steer the business towards a brighter path, I will lead the teams with industry-proven strategies.
• I will give my best to gain the most commendable result so that the business will stand out.

See Also: Why Strategy Is Important In Business

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10 Possible Reasons Why You’re Always Not Good Enough

Have you ever felt like you’re not good enough? Have you ever questioned yourself why you’re not appreciated and valued for who you are?

Well, let me tell you what I think.

1. You’re constantly comparing and measuring your standards of success against others.

“So what If I’ve graduated with a Bachelors degree, people are graduating with Masters and PhDs, I’m just not smart enough; I’m never gonna get a good job.”

2. When you don’t take care of your health, you feel like crap and you underperform.

Imagine this:

You only slept two hours the night before and you tried to work out the next morning. No matter how hard you try, you couldn’t lift as heavy as your last record. You start to think that you are deteriorating and you’re never going to improve.

See Also: Importance Of Sleep: How It Can Put Your Health In Serious Jeopardy

3. You complain that you’re not good enough but you don’t do anything to change.

You still continue doing the same shit every day that makes you mediocre.

“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.”– Jim Rohn

4. You think you should be like Wonder Woman and be good at everything.

Well, you don’t have to, because you never will. This brings me to my next point.

5. You are a self-proclaimed perfectionist and big-time procrastinator.

“If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done.” ― Ecclesiastes 11:4

6. You’re constantly thinking about the ‘What If’s’ but you don’t look at your current assets and how you can work them to your advantage.

7. You try to do everything but give up everything in the process.

You don’t have a goal or a list of things you want to achieve. You’re constantly stuck and feeling lost.

8. You’re not fully present when you’re working on something.

After you’ve completed a task, you don’t even remember what you did.

9. You don’t want to admit that you’re just a lazy prick and you’re not willing to put in the effort to succeed because acknowledging that makes you feel worse about yourself.

10. You constantly think that you’re not good enough.

“What you think, you become.” – Buddha

By now, you must be thinking:

“Well, this girl sounds like she’s giving me advice because she’s got everything in one piece and is living out her life purpose which is making a difference in people’s lives by doing what she’s good at…”

Hell, no.

This girl is very aware what it feels like to never be good enough. However, despite that, she’s still trying to get out of her hole.

She scrolls through Instagram looking at her friend’s post about a pretty unicorn smoothie bowl he made and she thinks: “I have a degree in food nutrition and I can’t make stuff like that… I’m not healthy enough.”

She goes to Cross-fit class and she sees others doing pull-ups and handstands and she thinks: “I’ve been working out for donkey years and I still can’t do any of those… I’m not fit enough.”

She and her friend go traveling together and she sees her friend being the one connecting with people along the way and she thinks: “I can’t talk like that…I’m not sociable enough.”

And as she is in the process of writing an article, she thinks: “Why am I even spending my time doing this, I’m not…”

I’m not enough. I can’t.

You get the gist.

Final Words

If you don’t feel the same way, kudos to you. Keep it up!

If you do, then know that you’re not alone in facing this ‘fear’ of imperfection, of never being good enough.

I’m not here to offer pity or start preaching that you should change and start thinking positively.

Don’t get me wrong.

I’m just hoping to be able to offer some comfort and make you feel comforted as well.
There’s no room for judgment here. Only understanding.

Oh, and ice cream.

Join me for ice cream? I’m thinking cookies and cream. What about you?

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9 Ways To Keep Your Brain Young

If you are getting on in years, you have to start thinking of your brain health. Dementia and Alzheimer’s diseases are becoming so common nowadays that it’s become imperative that you know exactly how to keep your brain young.

Here are 10 simple ways that can keep your brain from aging too fast.

Play fun games

Brain exercise can be fun and easy. Play matching games like Hay Match to stimulate your brain and release more dopamine. Mental stimulation can be a way to stay young longer. Your brain needs to be exercised, just like every muscle of your body, so get into the habit of playing puzzle games regularly.

Exercise

Moving the body is also good for the brain. The increased blood circulation will lead to a better supply of oxygen to your head. This helps your brain to function as it should.

Exercise at the gym and try to move throughout the day. If you have a job where you sit in front of a screen, take breaks every 20 minutes, and be sure to stand up and move!

Eat better

Try to change your diet to one that includes ingredients that are good for your brain. Foods with high levels of antioxidants are considered good brain food. So are foods that contain omega 3 and 6. You might also want to have a look at your intake of water to avoid dehydration.

Keep your blood sugar levels on an even keel

This point relates to the idea of eating better. If you can keep an even blood sugar level, it will benefit your brain. You will feel more energetic.

With more energy you can think more clearly and it will help you to get the most out of exercising too. This leads to a good cycle of motivation and inspiration.

Don’t smoke!

Did you know that cigarettes damage the brain? They can damage the parts of the brain that are responsible for memory, perception and language. If your brain capacity in these areas becomes weaker, you will inevitably be perceived as older than you really are. So never start smoking and quit now if you are already a smoker.

Laugh a little

When was the last time you laughed? Laughing and smiling are good for you. These are things that will help you stay young. If your friends are not funny, find a comedian that you can listen to every now and then in order to break out into some healthy laughter that will release beneficial hormones in your body.

Sleep enough

We must sleep to restore brain chemicals. During sleep, the brain can deal with all the events of the day. This sorting process is important for the brain to stay healthy and fully functional. You can try to go to bed earlier and also look into the possibility of taking a power nap during the day.

See Also: Five Ways of Overcoming the Problem of Getting Sleep

Have a vacation

Get a change of scenery and do something else. Your brain will benefit from this!

Take a mini vacation and leave all the gadgets behind. You might be surprised to realize that you can find your way without GPS by simply talking to other people.

Get a pet

Pets are very good for our emotional health. Your pet will give you a daily dose of joy. Going on long walks, laughing at your pet’s antics and sharing the love will help you stay young and fresh!

See Also: 10 Brain Damaging Activities You Need To Stop Doing Now

 

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Top 5 Things To Do In Las Vegas

Las Vegas is considered the entertainment capital of the world and it’s easy to see why. The city literally has something for nature enthusiasts to nightlife lovers. This is why there were and over 42 million the year before.

If you are thinking of visiting the place, here are the best things to do in Las Vegas to help you plan your trip.

Concert Residencies

Las Vegas is famous for its concert residencies from the world’s biggest superstars. Elvis Presley, Cher, and Prince have all headlined there in the past.

Nowadays, Sin City revelers have the chance to see stars like Elton John, Jennifer Lopez, and Britney Spears perform sellout shows along the Las Vegas Strip at famous venues, like the Colosseum at Caesars Palace and Planet Hollywood Resort.

Lady Gaga recently sealed a deal that will earn her an impressive $1 million per show. It’s set with 74 dates in MGM’s Park Theater beginning late 2018.

One act that has been going strong for many years now is David Copperfield’s residency at the MGM Grand Casino. There, he captivates his audience with spectacular illusions.

The magician performs 15 incredible shows per week in a residency that has lasted 18 years to date.

Nightclubs

The nightlife in Las Vegas is one of the biggest attractions for young and old tourists. It has a wide range of bars and clubs that play host to the world’s most reputable music acts and DJs.

Venues like Hakkasan at the MGM Grand are the epitome of what nightlife is all about there. With a capacity of around 6,000 people, a mindblowing sound system, and the likes of Calvin Harris and Tiesto regularly headlining, it’s no wonder why tons of people gather there.

XS at the Wynn Encore has hosted EDM superstars like Skrillex and Diplo and features an outdoor pool which is perfect for cooling off from the stifling heat.

Fremont Street Experience

Fremont Street Experience is an outdoor entertainment district that spans five blocks in downtown Las Vegas. It has countless free concerts people can enjoy all year.

It also has the world’s largest screen. It’s made up of 12.5 million energy-efficient LED lamps and accompanied by a 550,000-watt sound system.

You can find a number of bars and restaurants in the area. There are also a lot of games and various visual experiences. You can find a huge zipline, too!

17 million visitors per year see the free Viva Vision Light Show.  This makes the place a must-see for any tourist.

Grand Canyon

The Grand Canyon is one of the seven natural wonders of the world. A day trip is definitely one of the best things to do in Las Vegas.

More than 5 million people come each year to see the magnificent views filled with different types of terrain and inhabited by diverse wildlife. The Grand Canyon Skywalk is perched up over 4,000 feet above the surface, offering visitors the chance to dine in style with views of the Arizona sunset.

Spanning 446 kilometers in length and stretching 29 kilometers at its widest point, the Grand Canyon isn’t the deepest canyon in the world. It’s a title that goes to Peru’s Cotahuasi Canyon or Kali Gendaki Gorge in Nepal, depending on who you ask.

However, because of the spectacular view it offers, the place is definitely one of the most popular attractions in the United States. The Grand Canyon is located 200 km from the Strip, with multiple coaches and helicopter tours available daily.

Hoover Dam

Built in 1935, the Hoover Dam is a National Historic Landmark. It has enough water to irrigate up to 2 million acres of land. It’s a hugely popular tourist destination which you can find just over 30 miles away from Las Vegas.

There is a selection of tours that allow you to explore deep into the depths of the dam where you can marvel at the incredible engineering work. While you’re in the area, you can also take a relaxing boat tour to Lake Mead or the Colorado River.

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4 Compelling Reasons Why You Should Stop Avoiding Conflict

Every day, we are bound to face conflicts and many people shut down completely because of that. Although that sounds like the easy way out, it won’t help you in the long run. In fact, it’s the other way around. Facing conflicts offers a lot of benefits.

It Helps You Move Forward

The main problem with always veering away from any type of confrontation is that it denies you of opportunities for growth and improvement. Avoiding animosity stops you from moving forward in life and this is a huge problem. You won’t be able to fulfill your potential personally and professionally.

On top of that, holding grudges against people can put you at risk of mental disorders, such as anxiety, depression, and schizophrenia.

The simplest way to avoid all of those things is to face the issue. It will seem scary at first but its benefits far outweigh the initial difficulty.

It will pave your path towards self-improvement and also quiet down any negative and consuming thoughts you might have running around in your head.

Thus, if you feel things get too loud, you should try dealing with them directly every now and then. You’ll see that it can really work wonders.

It Relieves the Stress of Daily Life

If you’re the type of person who keeps his emotions inside all the time, then you already know how hard it gets after a while. Every day, life becomes a lot more stressful because of that. You might even start feeling anxious all the time.

Now, if you stop keeping your emotions bottled up, you’ll soon realize that your fear is getting you nowhere and that it’s actually making your life harder.

See Also: 12 Stressful Things To Let Go Of If You Want To Live A Calm Life

It Mends Your Relationships

The Balance author Rhonda Scharf exemplified this situation best by illustrating it with the story of one of her former co-workers. According to Scharf, this one colleague of hers had a particularly unhealthy mechanism for coping with conflict. He would carry out an entire conversation with the people who made him angry but just inside his head.

He started doing the same thing whenever he and his wife encountered marital problems. Instead of talking to his spouse, he chose to keep it all in. The situation escalated to such a point that it almost tore apart their marriage. That is when he finally expressed his emotions directly.

There is one important lesson that we all can learn from this: confrontation leads to communication and proper communication can mend any relationship, including romantic partnerships.

It Boosts Your Self-Confidence

One of the main reasons why people choose to bottle up their problems and avoid any form of confrontation is their lack of self-confidence. When faced with such situations, most of us think that there’s nothing we can really do about it.

Nevertheless, you can’t know for sure until you try it. And when you finally do, you will realize that it’s not really that hard after all.

See Also: 7 Powerful Habits To Skyrocket Your Self-Confidence

Final Thoughts

While conflict seems like a negative thing, it’s actually highly beneficial when approached right. Therefore, if you stop running away from it, you’ll be able to give yourself enough chance to grow both personally and professionally.

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5 Top Technology Trends That Will Shape 2018

Tips for New Entrepreneurs: What You Need to Know Before Starting A Business

Walking on the path of entrepreneurship can be a difficult task as there will always be obstacles and challenges. As someone who’s new to entrepreneurship, you should be prepared to face them.

As you embark on your journey, you will encounter issues about legal matters, finances, product development, intellectual property, and much more. The list can easily overwhelm new players.

This makes it important that you fully commit yourself to your business. If you feel that you cannot handle things on your own, there are teams of entrepreneurial finance assignment help that can assist you in getting organized.

And to make sure that you are completely prepared, here are some of the best tips for new entrepreneurs.

Always Keep Cash Handy

As an entrepreneur, you must remember that the money you prepared as capital may not be enough. For your business to function smoothly, there needs to be a consistent flow of cash.

Find investors and venture capitalists who can help fund your ideas and business. Convince them and make them believe in your vision.

Take note that they will likely ask about the expected returns on their investments.

Focus on people and their needs

Stay focused on what your employees need. Make sure to invest in their training.

The skills and knowledge that they’ll learn will be really valuable to the success of your business.

Ask yourself on what business model fits you

If you have started a business just for the sake of earning money and you don’t have any interest in it, don’t expect that business to last long.

Before you start a business, make sure that it’s something that goes in line with your passion and interest. When you are passionate about something, you’ll work really hard to make it successful.

Now, this doesn’t mean that passion is everything. There are factors and situations that can also influence the result you’ll get.

Keep your personal life away from your professional life

As an entrepreneur, you will spend at least 12 to 13 hours a day working on your business.  As a result, you may not have time to socialize anymore.

As an entrepreneur, you need to know how to balance your work and personal life. Spending too much time on work can result in burnout and that can make you less productive and focused.

Take a break when you need to. It will not only refresh your mind but it can also give you better ideas that can improve your business.

See Also: 5 Ways to Balance Work and Family Time Even if You’re a Workaholic

Don’t let your debt pull you down

When you are starting a business for the very first time, remember not to lose yourself in debt. You have just started your business and you need money for many things.

Credit should not be one of your worries. Moreover, it is incredibly risky to take debts in the initial phase.

If you are in debt and your business skyrockets to success, it’s all well and good. However, if your business fails, you would still have to pay your debt off since you’re the designated personal guarantor of the loan.

If you really need to borrow money, make sure that it’s within manageable limits.

Jot down your ideas and what you learn

As an entrepreneur, you will have a million things running inside your mind. With so many ideas, there’s a good chance that you’ll forget them in a snap.

The best way to avoid that from happening is to write down your thoughts and lessons in a notebook. You can look back at your notes whenever you need to recall your ideas.

See Also: 5 Benefits of Journaling To Inspire and Motivate You

Take some, leave some

Wise words from someone experienced can be an asset to your business. However, to ensure the success of your business, learn to sieve good advice from the bad ones.

Once you’re able to do that, you’ll be off to a good start. If you are unsure about what to do, just trust your instinct.

Conclusion

The 7 tips for new entrepreneurs can make you a smarter player in the business arena. If there is one thing on that list you haven’t implemented yet, then it’s time that you do.

Small changes can make a big difference. So, keep your mind fueled with positivity and stay healthy and happy. Success will follow shortly.

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Protecting Yourself From Fake Social Media Accounts

Why Strategy Is Important In Business

Being an entrepreneur is not a cakewalk. Far from it!

When the responsibility of fulfilling your dreams lies on your shoulders alone, you find yourself burdened and clogged by fear and uncertainty.

The easiest way entrepreneurs free themselves from fear is by creating strategies and plans. Entrepreneurs are aware what a gold mine a successful and comprehensive strategy can be for their business.

Why Strategy is Important In Business

If you are wondering why you should pay close attention to your strategy, check out the following benefits.

• Planning pays

Tracking your progress according to a set of criteria can help make sure that you are on track and growing. With a clear picture of what you expect your future to look like, you will always be aware of your priorities.

• Helps in recognizing strengths and pain points

A good strategy can help you recognize your business’ selling points and pain points so that you can have a holistic view of what you are doing. It can help you stay updated on your progress, too.

• Aids in assessing skills and talents

When you have a clear idea of your business’ growth, you will know what talent you need to work on. Strategically planning a business takes an unbiased and open mind.

• Helps in managing resources

Businesses should realize that their resources might run out. With a great and complete strategy, you can prioritize the utilization of your resources. This way, the important things in your business are given priority over less important things.

See Also: Top Lessons From Successful Entrepreneurs You Need to Know Now

Tips for Building A Successful Strategy

If you’re convinced about making a strategy but not sure how to do that, here are some of the best tips you can use:

Throw away the losers

As an entrepreneur, you are regularly bothered by fresh and novel ideas popping up in your head.

What you need to do is leave the ideas that seem to be too good to be real. Not all business opportunities will work for you, so you need to screen them. Look for the market potential in your business idea and then lay out a plan.

Analyze your idea

A good strategy is a result of a lot of analysis.

While big corporations can put in massive amounts of resources for researching ideas, as an entrepreneur, you would need to balance your research for resource optimization. Only do as much planning as necessary for starting up.

Merge action and analysis

Since you are just starting out, try to separate your analysis and action for a clearer picture of what needs to be done next. Do more analysis or swinging into action.

Define your objective

Define what your business does in clear and concise words. Know what problems you exclusively solve for the society.

Target your market and create an approach that will give more focus on them than your products.

These simple steps in building strategy can ensure you get started on the right track and that you’re heading in the right direction.

See Also: Best Tips For Young Entrepreneurs

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4 Small Business Tips for Women

Every day, 849 small businesses across the world are launched by women and the number has gone up by 3% in the past year. In the last two decades, there was a whopping rise of 114% in the total number of women-owned small businesses. This clearly indicates that women are rocking the small business industry.

Although a large number of women entrepreneurs have already established themselves, there are others who are just getting started. Unfortunately, the process isn’t that easy.

Women have to face many challenges in launching, establishing, and expanding their business.

If you are still in the planning stage, here are really helpful business tips for women.

Give Your Passion A Rational Twist

‘Follow your passion’ is the best advice anyone could give a small business owner. For women, that won’t be a problem as females are more sensitive and passionate.

However, blindly following passion without analyzing the market and its demands can turn out to be a roadblock to your success.

With that, it is important that you give a rational twist to your passion. Examine it closely against various parameters, like market study, competition, current trends, resources required, and funds available.

You have to build a strong foundation for your small business empire. Using a rational approach while following your passion can help ensure that.

Line Up Multiple Sources of Funding

Sourcing funds is one of the most crucial challenges for every entrepreneur, be it a male or a female. However, various studies have proved that women entrepreneurs find it more challenging to arrange funds for their business endeavors.

A research stated that women-owned business receives only 7% of the venture capital investment money. Female loan approval rate, on the other hand, is 15% to 20% lower than males.

So, instead of solely relying on a single source for all your small business funds, line up multiple sources of funding. This will ensure a constant flow of finances throughout the growth of your business.

But there is a brighter side of the picture as well.

There are some funding schemes and minority grants offering funds, especially for women. Groups and grants like Elizabeth Street Capital, Eileen Fisher Women-Owned Business Grant Program, and InnovateHER Challenge can be a great source of funds for women-owned businesses.

Other economic development programs, like certification by Women’s Business Enterprise National Council, can also help in arranging easy funds.

Invest in Compassion for Effective Team Management

“The hardest thing for women has been the human capital side,” says Maria Coyne, Executive Vice President of Business Banking at KeyBank and founder of Key4Women, a program dedicated to assisting women business owners.

She believes that women business owners can have more compassion towards her employees as compared to men, which can be used both for and against small business management.

Owning a small business, you should know how to balance emotional quotient and not let it rule over your instincts. Don’t let compassion limit you from making lucrative staffing decisions. Instead, use it for positive investment and management in human capital.

Instead of full-time hiring, you can hire on a contract basis or work-from-home basis. Those two approaches cost way lesser and add well to the profit.

You can look for women who are searching for work from home opportunities and empower them. Bring together a team of professionals who share the same enthusiasm and offer a positive and flexible working environment for effective management, execution, and operation.

See Also: The Importance Of Emotional Intelligence For A Leader

Take Notice of Accounting and Tax Benefits

There are many perks of being a woman and one of them is getting tax benefits.

You can register your small business at Women-Owned Small Business and get it certified by the WBE or Woman’s Business Enterprise. This will open new doors to various tax incentives and other waivers. Take a note of your accounting and taxes and do not miss out on the tax benefits offered in your state.

Conclusion

Start giving a rational twist to your passion and finding multiple sources of funding. Use your emotions and compassion for effective team management and do not forget to avail all the tax benefits. These things will help you become a successful small business owner.

Invest equal energy in raising and building a brand for your small business as you would invest in raising your family. Once you’re able to do that, you’ll find that nothing can stop you from becoming the next role model for women business owners.

See Also: 5 Women Entrepreneurs Who Failed Before Becoming Millionaires

Author Bio:
Ankit Gupta heads the content team at ExporteresIndia.com, India’s leading B2B marketplace. His passion towards his profession and his loyalty towards his organization compel him to read and write about small business trends, tips, to-dos, and not-to-dos. You can follow Ankit on his Google+, LinkedIn, and Twitter handles to read other insightful blogs written by him.

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The Truth About What Makes A Great Leader

Leaders are essential to any group or organization. They are the people that guide, control, and manage others so that they can be more productive and efficient in meeting their goals.

However, not all leaders are great ones. Some of them are just wearing the title and don’t live up to their position.

If you’re curious to know what makes a great leader, here are some points to highlight their traits.

“Good leaders tell you what to do while great leaders make you realize what needs to be done”.

Good leaders have ideas that can only alter what’s within their area while great leaders have ideas that can change the way things are done around the globe. The scale of their ideas is what sets apart greatness from merely being good.

Game-changers and out-of-the-box thinkers are great leaders because they have the power of changing the way people think. They can call their fellow people to action and steer them towards change. An organization that has great leaders with the right mindset will be able to continue growing and evolving.

A magnetic personality is what makes a great leader. Their passion and drive are visible in everything they do. Their shoulders aren’t slouched and there is a zeal that drives them to inspire the people close to them.

“Good leaders say. Great leaders show.”

Great leaders make people observe them. They know that people learn and adapt their behaviors through observation. So, they set examples of effective work culture, communication, and work ethics to influence everyone around them.

Great leaders believe in actions and in inspiring others. They believe that every person has an innate quality of greatness within them and they strive to bring that out.

A good leader will not improve you as a person as much as a great leader will. He can only tell you what should be done in your workplace but he rarely follows his own words.

Good leaders can make you feel good but great leaders can make you feel great about yourself. You will literally see yourself evolving into a better professional when you are under the guidance of a great leader.

“Good leaders cover their weaknesses while great ones work on them”

A good leader will try and cover his weaknesses with tons of excuses. He will make excuses so that he can avoid doing a job he’s weak at. This trait gets communicated to everyone, building a negative vibe.

A great leader, on the other hand, will realize his weaknesses and will try hard to overcome them, even if that involves learning from his subordinates. Great leaders, after all, have no ego when it comes to learning.

Their only goal is to make his employees and the organization better. Everything else is secondary to them.

Great leaders work so hard on their weaknesses to turn them around into their strengths.

See Also: The Importance Of Emotional Intelligence For A Leader

Good leaders aren’t motivators! They can show you the direction but they won’t fuel you up for the journey.

Great leaders will fill you with the thrill of embarking upon something new and will see to it that you stay motivated throughout.

Good leaders become bosses but great leaders become friends. A good leader will only remain your boss and will stay within his professional boundaries. A great leader befriends everyone in his team and doubles as a mentor to everyone.

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How to Create a Web Page: 5 Questions to Guide Beginners

3 Stoic Tenets That Can Help Improve Your Life

As a personal development junkie, the internet is a weird place for you to find tips in managing your emotions and achieving your goals.

One fine day, you get inspiration to read 100 books because a random dude confessed that they are life-changing. You purchase ten books and start reading them.

Which books should you start with? Easy peasy.

Look at the reading lists of those fancy billionaires: Zucks, Billy, and Musk.

A week later, you see a 5-minute video of a guy that didn’t consume alcohol for a year and how it changed his life.

No surprise at what you’ll do next.

Obviously, first, you share it with your friends with the caption #LifeGoals. Then, you fool yourself that you can pull off that enormous goal.

Until…

In a couple of weeks, you encounter an article showing how a guy quit his job to travel the world. He now earns $10,000 per month writing.

Well, well, well…

You now need to have a couple of drinks to sort this out.

In a month, the novelty of these goals wears off. Back to square one. You return to your usual routine.

Even if you want to improve, your emotions and ambitions can lead you astray. Behavioural change is difficult.

For help, let’s turn towards the ancient school of philosophy: Stoicism.

Here are three stoic beliefs that will help you build mental resilience and propel you towards your self-improvement goals.

Treat your emotions separately from events

Fuck being happy. Fuck being sad.

Seriously.

Self-improvement is challenging because, when faced with resistance, we cave in.

You have sufficient time and resources. But to justify your failure in taking the first step, you construct false stories, blaming external factors.

Stop.

It’s you, stupid.

Specifically, managing your emotions is the key to making progress.

Stoicism calls forth acknowledging that the conflict is internal.

In the words of Marcus Aurelius, “You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you find strength.”

Once you recognize the fact, you’ll stop making up delusional stories and blame worldly events to justify your indiscipline. Rather, you’ll focus on your inner emotional turmoil. It will prevent hindrance of your progress.

For example:

You’re building a writing habit. Your goal is to show up every day and write as little as 100 words. Initially, internalizing the new behavior is more important than finishing an article.

Now, treat writing separately from how you feel at the time you arrive at the keyboard. You need to suck it up and do it anyway because you owe it to the world.

See Also: 5 Key Insights For A Happy Life From Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations

You can’t control the outcome of your efforts

Suppose you have aspirations to become the next Jimi Hendrix. You tell yourself that “you’ll become a legendary guitar player”.

Unfortunately, you won’t really know if you’ll be able to do that despite putting your best effort.

Other external factors like luck, timing, and genes also play a part in the results you’ll get. Ultimately, you can only control your actions.

Hence, in the chaotic world, it makes sense to trust the process and commit yourself to every moment honestly. Seneca mentions that Stoics take every action with a reserve clause – “If nothing shall occur to the contrary” (for taking uncertainty into account).

It’s similar to phrases like “God willing” and “If the fates allow” in Christian writings.

Practically, you can apply this tenet to your self-improvement goals by road mapping an achievable quantitative goal. Instead of imagining and telling yourself that you’ll build a successful business in three months, write down the specific steps that you’ll execute.

See Also: 4 Powerful Ways To Stay Motivated And Reach Your Goals Through Tough Times

Take action and apply your knowledge

Stoic philosopher Epictetus believed that reading too many books and internalizing their content is not equivalent to progress. Application of that knowledge is what will impart wisdom.

Now, though the advice is 2000 years old, it’s more relevant in today’s digital era because of infomania.

“Motivational porn”.

That’s the term used for readers that scour through self-improvement articles and never take action (hope, that’s not you).

If you read self-improvement articles, then you’re trying to soothe an itch.

Ultimately, you got to realize that the people serving such literature (both the writer and the website publishing it) are making a business out of it. They are trying to help you but you need to move beyond deriving entertainment from such articles.

If you’re looking for a shiny and quick solution to fix your problem, then you won’t find any.

Reading and planning might become a habit and soon an excuse for inaction. So, get on the field and sweat a little.

Implement one tenet in your life and get some shit done today.

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Letting Go of the Victim Label: The Past Will Not Define Me

TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of domestic violence and sexual abuse, and may be triggering to some people.

“Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.” ~Unknown

It wasn’t long ago that I lived my life as a professional victim.

It wasn’t intentional, but somewhere along the way I had internalized the fact that my victimhood gave me an excuse to remain stuck. As long as I was a victim, I had a reason to wallow in sadness and self-pity, a reason to not move forward, and sympathy that was poured upon me like praise—because no one wants to shame the victim, right? So I put on my victim’s Badge of Honor and remained firmly planted in the past.

The thing about being a victim is that it doesn’t end there. Resentment is not far behind, and I soon found myself immersed in resentment. After all, I never asked to be born into a household filled with domestic violence, nor did I ask be molested by someone I shared the same bloodline with, but it happened, and I resented it.

In my mind, no one could understand what it was like to live in constant fear of the day that your mother would be murdered. No one could understand the hopelessness that comes with feeling unsafe day after day. But I did.

I knew what it felt like to be awakened in the middle of the night by screaming voices, dishes crashing against walls, or the volume on the TV up as high as it could go, because if he was angry, no one was getting a good night’s sleep.

I knew what it was like to wish for death, because death was better than terror.

I knew what it felt like to live in a household where everyone walked on eggshells because the alternative was an encounter with rage.

I knew what it felt like to have a dysfunctional childhood while others had what I thought to be a fairytale life, and I resented it.

I could not reconcile why some children were born into wealth and privilege and I was not. I did not understand why my family, which should have been a safe haven, was the exact opposite. Why were some children loved and adored, and I molested and used? It wasn’t fair, and I wasn’t going to let life, or anyone who would listen, forget it.

I didn’t ask for that life, I was a victim, and had earned the right to complain about it as much as I saw fit. I did not realize that I had the power to overcome everything I had experienced, and maybe there was a part of me that didn’t really want to. I knew who I was with my experiences, but what was my identity without those stories? It was time that I found out.

It took a while for me to even realize that I needed to let go of the victim label, but thankfully the day came. It became too much effort to be sad and depressed about something that happened, and was not changing.

I began to read every self-help book I could find in hopes that one of them held the key to my emotional relief. I began attending counseling sessions and put forth the necessary effort to get the most out of each session. Then, one day it happened. I woke up knowing enough was enough.

No, life wasn’t fair, but this was the only life I had, and I had better make the most of it. I knew that in order for me to move forward, I had to accept this fact. My experience was my experience, and nothing was going to change what happened to me, but I could surely change how I responded to it.

The first thing I did was remove toxic people from my life. I understood that as a child I had little control over the people I was exposed to, but as an adult, it was my responsibility to set strong boundaries, even if that meant removing some people.

This was no easy task, and I immediately felt waves of fear and guilt. I was so used to not having boundaries, and being expected to accept bad behavior just because it came from family. Still, I followed through with my plan to set boundaries or to sever ties completely.

Next, I began to follow the advice I had received from literally hundreds of self-help books. I began to retrain my mind from the mentality of a victim, to one of strength, poise, and success.

Almost immediately, I stopped feeling sorry for myself and began to feel empowered and capable. Yes, I had bad experiences growing up, and yes, those experiences affected my life, but I did not have to let them define me.

I worked diligently to change my self-talk and I was very intentional about ensuring that I would make the most of my life. I had wasted enough years existing, and I knew that it was time to start living.

Retraining my mind became my full-time focus, as I knew that all success starts in the mind. I continued with counseling and was told that I had a form of post-traumatic stress disorder, which was evident from my having nightmares about the abuse in my home, even though I was an adult and in a safe place.

I learned how witnessing domestic abuse and being molested affected my self-esteem, the way I viewed relationships, and the way I viewed the world.

I learned that none of it was my fault, and that I did not have to continue to tell myself those stories. I had new stories to tell. We all do. You too, can move past the pain and hurt you have endured in this lifetime. You can forgive, even if you never forget, and you can move forward. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.

My transformation didn’t happen overnight, and neither will yours. I spent years studying the power of the mind, and being intentional in my desire to turn my life around.

Today I am free of toxic relationships and toxic thoughts. I’ve replaced my victim badge with a crown of success, love, self-confidence, and peace. And I replaced self-pity and sadness with a fierce determination to live my best life, free of resentment.

I recently met a man who told me he has found happiness all his life by learning to “play the hand he was dealt.” I smiled, because I had come into the wisdom that this is truly the only way to live, because “Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.” The choice is ours to make.

About Eboni Kelly

Eboni Kelly is a Fort Worth, TX based youth educator, domestic violence advocate, and self-published author of fiction novel, Everyone Has A story to Tell, and self-help book, Love is an Inside Job (Eboni Garrett). She is also the founder and blogger of inspirational brand, Good Enerji. She seeks to empower people all over the world to move past their pain. Check out her blog at www.goodenerji.com.

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