How to Get Rid of Relationship Insecurities

The best relationship advice for a happy marriage is never to compare yourself or your spouse to someone else. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done, especially if you are insecure by nature. Getting over relationship insecurities can be hard for you.

Insecurity often boils down to a deep feeling of inadequacy in a relationship. You may feel like you aren’t smart, pretty, funny or interesting enough to keep your partner’s attention. Insecurity may also stem from a distrust from your partner due to a past indiscretion on their behalf.

Feeling insecure about yourself or your spouse can do some serious damage to an otherwise healthy relationship. Here are 6 tips on how you can start getting over relationship insecurities.

Consider Your Baggage

Some of the best relationship advice you can follow for handling insecurities in your marriage is to pinpoint the source of the problem. Some examples of what led you to this emotional point may be that:

• You have been cheated on in the past
• You watched your parents go through a messy divorce
• Your current spouse has been unfaithful in the past
• You have experienced a drastic change in appearance (weight gain/loss/pregnancy)
• Your emotional connection to your spouse feels lacking

The list can go on and on, but it is important to learn where your insecurities are stemming from. Once you know what led to your romantic insecurities, you will be better equipped to handle them.

Stop Comparing Yourself

Always remember that comparison is the thief of joy. The more you compare yourself to someone else, the less happy you will be in your marriage.

It is common for someone who is feeling insecure to begin comparing themselves to their spouse’s former lovers. This can lead to boiling jealousy, hurtful fights, and much irritation for both you and your partner.

If your spouse wanted to be with someone else, they wouldn’t be with you. Your partner is not with their ex-flame, they are with you. They love you, are charmed by you, and choose to spend their time with you because they enjoy doing so. Remember that the next time you are feeling insecure about your partner’s past.

Get It Out of Your System

If you’re feeling insecure or jealous and it is bubbling to the surface, don’t wait for it to explode. Let it out!

The longer you hold back your insecurities, the more time they have to build and fester. Instead of letting things spiral out of control, talk to your partner about it. Do that before you start snooping on your partner’s phone, following them around, and having friends check up on them.

Communication is the key to a healthy relationship, especially when you are feeling insecure or jealous.

When you sit down to talk to your partner, don’t snap at them or turn your insecurities into an argument. And trust us, that can be very easy to do.

Instead, speak calmly and reasonably about how you’re feeling. Explain to your partner why you might be feeling this way. You will likely find them to be understanding and eager to help in this matter.

Practice Self-Care

The best relationship advice for building confidence is by practicing self-love. Take care of yourself. Dress up, take a bubble bath or play guitar. Whatever makes you feel great, do more of it!

Exercising is a great way to build confidence. Learn to appreciate the unique qualities that make you a lovable and valuable partner to your spouse.

When you exercise, you are feeding your self-confidence.

Exercising triggers your body to release a compound neurotransmitter called dopamine. It’s the body’s natural reward system that causes euphoric feelings of happiness. This mood-elevator can do wonders for your confidence and overall outlook on yourself and your marriage.

Getting fit and stronger is another benefit of working out. You’ll find that the healthier your body feels, the better your mental state will be in. Doctors recommend getting at least 30 minutes of exercise each day for the best results both mentally and physically.

Have a Regular Date Night

Emotional and physical intimacy are both integral to a happy marriage. Scheduling time each week to spend a romantic, fun or exciting evening together as a couple is a great way to strengthen these aspects of your relationship.

Studies show that building emotional intimacy and boosting oxytocin is actually proven to boost trust in humans. Having more trust in your spouse will put you at ease about your insecurities. It’ll give you more time to spend enjoying each other’s company.

When sitting down for date night, make sure to put your phones away. Having an electronic-free date night will prevent you and your spouse from feeling snubbed or unappreciated.

Write It Down

It’s healthy and wise to talk to your partner about how you’re feeling, but you can’t do that 24/7. Not only is it unhealthy for you to make them the source of your constant reassurance, but it is exhausting for your partner.

Make it a goal to talk about your insecurities for no more than 20 to 30 minutes a week. If you still feel the need to talk about it after this time frame, why not create a journal?

In a study done by the BMJ Journal, patients undergoing stressful situations were encouraged to write about their plans for the day for three 20-minute periods over the course of several days. The results showed a reduction in emotional stress. Just from writing!

Writing down your feelings is an excellent way to get them out of your system without starting a fight or getting upset with your partner.

See Also: 3 Writing Techniques to Increase your Self-Esteem  

It’s normal to have insecurities, even in healthy relationships. Focus on the good in yourself and in your spouse. Learn a healthy way to communicate with your partner about your insecurities and always work to build up your relationship. Following these best relationship advice tips will help you maintain a happy marriage.

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How To Stop Unhappiness Rituals in Your Relationships

I once had a patient, we’ll call her Betty, tell me that every night she would cook her spouse a gourmet dinner. At first, it didn’t look like she was unhappy in a relationship. After dinner, she would ask, “How was your dinner?”

The response was always the same: “So, so.”

Every night, she would find herself angry, unhappy, and resentful. She would focus on how hopeless her situation was. After all, she told herself that all she wanted was to please her partner and to get a little appreciation for her efforts. This woman was definitely unhappy in a relationship.

What is an Unhappiness Ritual?

An unhappiness ritual is a repeated, unsatisfying, cyclical behavior that leads us to unhappiness. There is always a beginning to our unhappiness rituals. Entrance to them is usually initiated by the person who maintains the ritual. As long as we keep our unhappiness rituals going, there is no end to the hopelessness, disappointment, resentment, guilt, and anger that comes as a result.

Over time, unhappiness rituals become automatic. They become habits. We unconsciously include them. The unhappy feelings, which is the outcome of our unhappiness rituals can evolve into a state of chronic discontent and bitterness. Depression often awaits us as we endure with predictable outcomes.

How do unhappiness rituals begin?

Let’s review the patient above.

Her unhappiness ritual with cooking dinner began because she unknowingly needed some kindness, appreciation, and validation from her husband. She didn’t put those needs into words. It was rather a wordless longing inside her.

Then, the idea came to her that cooking nightly gourmet dinners would certainly invite conversation and expressed appreciation from her husband. When her solution didn’t give her the outcome she wanted, she kept on cooking, hoping things would change. She initially became disappointed.

Then, she became sad. Anger and resentment took over. She became stuck in a repetitive unhappiness cycle.

Here is the equation for the inception of unhappiness rituals:

1. We have an unarticulated, unmet want that is surrounded by a discontent about our need not being met.
2. We try to get our needs met by creating a solution.
3. The solution doesn’t work. Our needs are not met. We get stuck in the solution, hoping that one day our needs will be met.

Why do we stay stuck?

Think back to when you learned to drive a car. If you were like most, you paid attention to how you pulled away from the curb. You always put on your turn signal and you checked the speedometer to make sure you were not going too fast. You were aware of what you were doing and what other drivers were doing.

Compare that to how you drive a car now.

After years of driving, isn’t all that you do on the highways and byways automatic? Do you consciously think about how you drive? Probably not, because your driving is now habituated. You do it without even thinking about what you are doing.

We get stuck in unhappiness rituals the exact same way.

We practice them over and over and without knowing, they become automatic. Like Betty, she no longer was aware that every evening around 4:00 she would begin thinking about what she would cook for her husband.

She would comb Gourmet magazine or her recipe books for new and delicious-sounding recipes. Around 5:00, Betty would have selected a meal and she would begin preparing it. Her mantra was, “maybe this time my husband will love the dinner.”

She reported that she was “always hurt when I got the same “so-so” response, night after night.

We become unconsciously and habitually stuck in our unhappiness rituals. Inexplicably, in our stuckness, we expect others to change their responses. It is our fervent hope that others will “get it” and we will be acknowledged, appreciated or feel loved because someone else changed their behaviors.

How to stop being unhappy in a relationship

After some therapy and planning, here’s what Betty did:

She stopped putting so much energy into meal preparation and she stopped asking her husband how he liked his dinner! Does that sound too simple?

It took Betty some time to gather the courage to sort out the needs and feelings that were related to her unhappiness ritual. She took quite some time for her to embrace the idea of stepping out of her automatic behaviors. It took creating new ways of interacting and connecting.

How to get out of your unhappiness rituals:

1. Identify what is causing unhappiness for you. What is it that you repeatedly do that leads to your unhappy feelings?
2. Name your feelings. Instead of just saying you feel unhappy, name exactly what the feelings are. Are you resentful or in an unhappiness ritual because of guilt? Are you accustomed to being a victim in your life and therefore being in an unhappiness ritual feels comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time? Exploration of your feelings is more easily done with a neutral third party involved.
3. Learn what you are needing. We enter unhappiness rituals through a desire to get some response usually from another person.
4. Dissect your ritual. When does it begin? What thoughts go through your mind? What do you tell yourself? Is guilt, retribution, anger, revenge, manipulation or setting yourself up for victimization a driving force? Write it down. Look at it.
5. Clearly state what it is about your unhappiness ritual that you want to stop.

Action exiting

Change is very difficult as our automatic behaviors are hardwired into our brains. It takes consciousness and perseverance to depart from our unhappiness rituals, especially when they have become entrenched through years of practice.

Betty made a step-by-step plan. She took action!

She identified that around 4:00 pm, she would start planning the evening meal. Her first exodus step was to create activities for herself at that hour.

After some time, Betty decided that she and her neighbor would either play tennis at the local community center or hike with their dogs. In inclement weather, Betty worked out at the gym.

Unhappiness rituals usually fall apart after we intervene on our first step into the ritual.

Next, Betty stopped her subscription to Gourmet Magazine and she boxed up her cookbooks and the recipes that she had collected from newspapers over the years. She put them in the guest room closet.

Then, she considered what types of meals she would make for dinner. Betty decided on some frozen, pre-prepared meals and fresh salads. She had advised her husband.

It went like this:

Honey, I have changed my schedule so I won’t be dedicating so much time to preparing dinner. Just wanted you to know. I’ve got to go right now. I’m going to the gym. If you have any questions, we can discuss it later.

Notice that Betty was brief and respectful. She simply told her husband that she was making a change and then, she exited. No justifications and no explanations. No processing of feelings and no making her husband wrong for not fulfilling her unspoken needs.

To exit an unhappiness ritual:

1. Write down a plan. Get feedback from an impartial party.
2. Tell the person/people involved what the change is going to be. Discussing the reason for the change is not necessary and usually leads to a diatribe about our unhappiness because someone else is not meeting our needs (which usually translates into blaming them for our feelings and for making a change necessary).
3. Plan activities you can do before you enter your unhappiness ritual.
4. Stick to your change. Practice the change you have selected. Do the change.
5. Remember, the more you practice your new behavior, the more quickly it becomes automatic.

Finally, get yourself out of your unhappiness rituals. If you follow the steps, you will alleviate emotional pain and find yourself happier and more satisfied with your life.

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5 Reasons a Messy Desk Is Not Good For Your Productivity

Do you feel stressed or distracted as soon as you get to work? Here’s one cause you may not have considered: not having a clean desk at work

Sure, you’ve probably heard things like “yeah, my desk is messy, but so was Einstein’s”. This idea that having a cluttered desk is a good thing has become much more common in the last few years. But alas, that doesn’t make it right and we’re going to do a bit of debunking.

Here are 5 reasons why a cluttered desk isn’t better:

It Creates Stress

When you start the day feeling like you’re behind, that can be deeply discouraging. That’s exactly what happens (even subconsciously) when you’ve got unsorted piles all over your workspace.

It’s Distracting

A mess can stop your flow. If you find your eyes drifting to the odds and ends strewn around your desk, those moments are lost time. More importantly, it’s an interruption. This can be particularly counterproductive when you’re “in-the-zone” and cranking out fast, quality work.

It’s Unhealthy

The average office keyboard has roughly 7,500 bacteria on it. Taking care of yourself includes taking care of your work surfaces. An uncleaned desk can have a real impact on how often you’re sick or not feeling well.

It Can Undermine Your Reputation

According to Adecco, a majority of Americans (57%) admit they judge co-workers by how clean or dirty they keep their workspaces.

If you work in an office or shared space, your desk will impact how your colleagues and superiors see you. A messy or disorganized desk can be interpreted as a sign you are disorganized and inefficient in your work. That’s not the type of image any of us want.

It Reduces Self Confidence

In addition to affecting the way others see you, a messy desk can impact how you see yourself. Don’t miss the importance of this. Having confidence can have a profound impact on how you present yourself and pursue your work. A clean desk at work is a very simple step that can have a variety of benefits in your professional life.

Now that we’ve established the negative effects of a messy desk, let’s do something about it. Here are 4 things you can start today to get your desk in order:

1. Create a Cleaning Habit

Even 15 minutes/week makes a huge difference. I like to do this on Friday afternoons. It gives me a sense of resolution and paves the way for a positive start on Monday morning. If you want to go bigger, decluttering at the end of each workday can be a great cadence.

2. Purge Based on Frequency

If you don’t use it every week, store it or throw it away. If you use it every week, put it in an easily accessible bin/shelf/drawer. In case you use it daily (or hourly), keep it within reach. The idea is to strategically place files, tools, and materials based on how often you use them.

3. Create a Clear Filing System

This applies to paper files and digital files. The amount of time we waste trying to find stuff is outrageous. Take an hour to establish a clear system. This will save you hours (even weeks) in the long run.

4. Splurge on Organization Tools

Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your desk is to add something to it. That may be a bit counter-intuitive but adding something like a shelf or desk cover can have a huge impact on the look and feel of your workspace.

That’s it, now do it! Add a block to your calendar or planner and transform your workspace into a well-oiled machine.

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Schopenhauer’s Secret Guide to Love You Need to Hear

The key to happiness lies with porcupines.

Strange as it sounds, it’s an idea that was first articulated by Arthur Schopenhauer. He’s a brilliant philosopher and pessimist of epic proportions.

Schopenhauer might not be the first person you’d normally turn to for well-being advice. This is because of him, all human actions were essentially worthless. He maintained that romance was an exquisite delusion. Women were overgrown and mindless children and marriage were things that required one to be “blindfolded into a sack hoping to find out an eel out of an assembly of snakes”.

Needless to say, Schopenhauer was single.

But despite his pessimism, he had a keen awareness of the intricacies of relationships or the problems that they can create. While he took a famously bleak attitude toward the future of humanity, Schopenhauer did suggest that there is one – and only one – key to happiness.

Why We’re All Porcupines

Schopenhauer believed that human beings had an aversion to closeness and were generally uncomfortable with their own emotions. To demonstrate his theory, he put forth a simple parable:

You’re a porcupine. It’s cold out. To stay warm, you need to huddle next to other porcupines, in close physical proximity. But, the moment you are suitably close to another porcupine, you are pricked by his sharp spines. So, you move away where no one can touch you.

Then, of course, you realize that it’s still cold and you’re beginning to freeze. You come back together with your fellow porcupines, holler out in pain at the sharp spines, and retreat again. And so goes the endless dance of human interaction: isolation, intimacy, retreat.

The process will continue, Schopenhauer said, until all the porcupines reach a state of equilibrium, in which they discover “a mean distance at which they [can] most tolerably exist”.

No one is entirely alone, but everyone is still fundamentally isolated. Porcupines, like humans, will always be “mutually repelled by the many prickly and disagreeable qualities of their nature”.

However, while Schopenhauer may have set out to illustrate that humans can never be perfectly compatible with each other, his porcupine parable shows how strangely fragile isolation can actually be. Even people who choose to be alone will still naturally gravitate toward each other. Humans, across time and cultures, will always seek intimacy.

Are we doomed?

Unfortunately, Schopenhauer had little to offer by way of a remedy for the porcupine dilemma—perhaps because he believed that “misfortune, in general, is the rule”. The only way to assuage one’s isolation, he said, was to cultivate an “inner” warmth.

In other words, if you generate your own source of heat, you can survive at a safe distance from other people.

While Schopenhauer did not elaborate on his theory of ‘inner warmth’, it’s not difficult to infer a modern (and less morbid) takeaway: it is impossible to rely entirely on another person to give you everything you want.

Being happy with someone else means being independent, self-sufficient, and content on your own first. This doesn’t mean shutting yourself off from the rest of the world. Instead, it’s cultivating the inner strength to face the rest of the world.

Compassion and Love: The Secret to Happiness

While Schopenhauer didn’t resolve the porcupine problem directly, another one of his theories provides an adequate solution. On The Basis of Morality (1839), his major work on ethics, he argued that only one force can free the soul and relieve our pain: morality.

More specifically, compassion.

According to Schopenhauer, all human happiness, satisfaction, and well-being lies in “the everyday phenomenon of compassion,…the immediate participation, independent of all ulterior considerations, primarily in the suffering of another, and thus in the prevention or elimination of it”.

Without compassion, we view each other as distinct individuals, alien and separate. Compassion, on the other hand, requires us to recognize that another’s suffering is exactly the same as our own. A compassionate person directly feels another person’s life. It is a sense that transcends physical distance and our own isolation. It allows us to connect with someone in a way that defies all cognitive reason.

What does this mean for our porcupine friends? While there may be an inherent limit to the amount of physical closeness we can achieve, there is no limit to what our minds and emotions can do to bridge the gap between us. Compassion is responsible for the ultimate paradox: feeling a greater intimacy from a distance that we would feel by standing side by side. Compassion and love are indeed essential to each other.

In the end, it is compassion that will allow us to experience the entire range of human emotions. That includes– sorry, Schopenhauer – optimism.

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What You Need To Know About Cloud Computing In Business

Today, 93% of organizations use the cloud in some form and of those, 42% derive half or more of their business from cloud-based apps. On average, enterprises invest $1.62 million in cloud computing and globally, this number reaches $67 million.

Between 2015 and 2020, spending on the cloud is expected to grow at a rate six times faster than on IT. Between these same years, spending public cloud development is predicted to more than double. From iCloud to AWS, we simply cannot get our heads out of the cloud.

Avoiding Complexity In Cloud Computing

This explosive growth rate of cloud usage means big moves for businesses. However, needless complexity sometimes halts innovation.

Smart business leaders understand the importance of utilizing the cloud for accelerating growth, but there is no one-size-fits-all option. This is particularly true in business operations.

In general, you have three different options:

Public cloud servers utilize hardware, software, and infrastructure that is owned and managed by the cloud provider. This means low costs, no maintenance, and a high-reliability factor at the expense of customization and extra security measures.

Private cloud servers are those used exclusively by one business or organization. For facilities already using their own data centers, this option helps avoid waste of infrastructure, offers high levels of customization, scalability, and security.

The hybrid servers offer a little bit of the functions of both public and private. Combining any level of onsite infrastructure and employing the tech of public clouds, data can move easily between the two. This results in greater control, ease of use, and external support.

All of these options offer unique features, but what they have in common is essential.

• Data and analytics storage
• Real-time financial data analysis
• Scalability to grow alongside company improvement

What Experts Prefer

In 2016, tech and business experts prefer hybrid options. Services like Windows Azure and AWS (Amazon Web Services) come in as top public cloud services in terms of market share, followed by Google Cloud.

Public cloud technologies, such as SaaS or Software as a Service, allow organizations to run apps on their own computers and data centers. SaaS uses third-party priors to host applications and makes them available via the internet, freeing up time, space (virtual or otherwise), and money. It also operates in any level and size of onsite infrastructure and hosts servers and storage options that would traditionally only be present as private onsite hardware.

IaaS or Infrastructure as a Service fills a different niche need — infrastructure requirements. In this case, the third-party provider delivers hardware and software tools over the internet. IaaS allows organizations to focus on running applications instead of building infrastructure from the ground up. It provides maintenance options which are particularly useful for smaller business and allows for external management of security and network issues.

See Also: 4 Ways Small Business Can Become More Efficient Through Cloud Computing

Lingering Security Concerns

For any business or individual maintaining an online presence, security is among the top concerns. The list also includes:

• Concerns with data security
• Over-dependence on third-parties
• High potential for service outages and connection issues

While security risks are common with cloud services, many of them are due to enterprise policy rather than “inherent risks.” Over 60% of businesses employ policies to control risky cloud usage and the average organization experiences 23 cloud-based threats on a monthly basis. Only 8% of cloud services meet the data security requirements of enterprises.

Of cloud services used, just 5.4% are approved, 63.3% are permitted, and 31.3% are not allowed. Services like Salesforce and OneDrive are among the top approved services while Split PDF and the infamous Pirate Bay rank among the most outlawed cloud services.

Solving these problems isn’t easy, but NaaS and Software-defined WAN (SD-WAN) solve these issues.

• Cloud-based technologies connect enterprise networks to onsite data centers over long distances
• Replaced expensive and less secure fixed circuits, no longer dependent on hardware

Looking to add cloud services to your business operations? Finding the right service structure for your needs doesn’t have to complicated. Take a look at this infographic to know more about the growth of cloud computing in business and how to make the most of the options available.

Please include attribution to CBTS.com with this graphic.

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The One Post Breakup Thing Women Need to Do

“I’m not happy anymore. I see no future with you. I will never love you. You need to accept that and move on. I’m sorry.”

As cliché as it may sound, that was the last I heard from the guy I was so desperately in love with. He’s the guy who dumped me for his major insecurities, male ego, and limitless tail-chasing.

After some time, he went with a follow up stating that he wanted the possibility of a friendship with me- different from what I had been hoping for with him.

You’d like to think that I immediately jumped at the chance to get back together, even if it’s just on a level of completely platonic pals. Or perhaps one of his many previous conquests-now-turned-buddies.

Well, let me tell you this.

I was not that desperate and pathetic.

Flipping him off was below my ladylike standards, so I told him an outright no.

Naturally, he didn’t understand my reluctance as much as I couldn’t comprehend why he wanted to keep me with him, when in fact he’d expressed openly in different terms that he’d rather close the chapter of his life where I was in it, to begin with.

How to handle a break-up with class

After a breakup, especially in this sort of situation, no matter how much you think it will work on your favor, never beg or plead. That’s even if you are still completely not over or might never be over him. By never, I mean it would be horrific and downright mortifying once you come to your senses!

Trust me. Begging does not work, even if you blackmail him emotionally.

And, do not accept a “Just Be Friends” proposition from the man who brutally jilted you under any circumstance at all! It would be unfair of him to ask that of you, especially when you didn’t want whatever relationship you had to end in the first place.

Handling breakups are different for the vast majority of us as there are a lot of factors that tend to vary.

However, acting loony will get you nowhere.

Overreacting would be a nasty faux pas.

Blowing up his phone and stalking him on social media would not only strain an already non-existent relationship. It would also make you- and not him- more miserable in the long run.

My dear women, I say, go through the breakup with class and what’s left of your dignity.

Various online dating gurus would tell you this and I can attest that it absolutely works a hundred and ten percent: Lose all form of contact with him, as long as it would take for you to reconvene your feelings and your life in general.

Human nature dictates that pain is unwanted, in every aspect, be it physical or emotional.

Unquestionably, going through your normal routine will prove to be very, very difficult. You may find yourself at the end of some nights tired, weeping, and lonely but don’t fret too much. It’s all part of the process to heal yourself.

The bottom line is for you to get a life where you are happy and secure with yourself. You don’t need him to be in it.

Then, live that life and let things run their course.

If he comes back, then it’s up to you to accept him. If you do accept, set boundaries for yourself, which he has to learn to respect.

In case he doesn’t, well, do you really want a man who wants to stay uncommitted and yet desires the benefits of a committed relationship?

See Also: Let Go of Your Ex: 7 Excuses You Need to Stop Making Now

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How To Stay Safe and Prevent Theft While Traveling

Traveling to a new state or country can be very exciting and relaxing at the same time. However, there are some vacation safety tips you need to keep in mind in order to protect yourself and your finances.

Here are a few ideas on how to stay safe while traveling abroad or even during a simple weekend getaway:

Before You Leave, Protect Your Home

Safety while traveling begins at home before you ever leave town. To ensure your belongings stay secure while away, make sure no one posts on social media about your trip and how long you’ll be away.

Also, contact the post office about holding your mail and deliveries until you return so it won’t be obvious that no one is home. Finally, ask a trusted neighbor to keep watch over your property to ensure no one enters your property.

See Also: 14 Ways To Protect Your Home When Going On A Vacation

Monitor Credit Cards and Credit Reports

It’s quite common to have your credit card number or identity stolen while traveling. Make sure to monitor your credit card statements and credit reports for several months after returning home. If you see any suspicious or unauthorized activity, report it to the credit bureaus and card companies immediately.

Technology for Travel Safety

There are several handy gadgets available for traveling safely. Wallets that act as a safe, GPS tracking for luggage as well as travel companions, and even silent or audible personal safety alarms are available from several retailers.

If you plan on traveling alone or must be out at night, a personal alarm is an absolute must. This device will automatically dispatch local authorities and notify your loved ones if you become distressed and trigger the alarm.

Managing Your Money Safely

Traveling with cash is never a good idea, especially in a foreign country. Use credit when you can and only carry a small amount of cash on you while out and about.

Most restaurants and stores abroad take credit cards. That can make it easier for you to track your expenses and make sure nothing is awry when you return.

The risk of being targeted by pickpockets is also higher while traveling as most tourists are quite obvious to locals. Having your credit cards and identification taken is one thing, but a pile of cash is another and you can never get that back.

Watch Out for Scams

Scam artists are constantly trying to take advantage of tourists. They can offer something for free but then demand a ridiculous price for it. Some scammers may appear to be friendly locals looking to help you avoid ATM fees by utilizing their machine. The truth, however, is that the machine being offered is really a skimmer that will steal your card information right in front of your eyes.

Cab drivers may claim a broken meter and demand high rates for short distances or tell you the hotel or attraction you were headed to has been closed. That way, they can take you to a much more expensive location where they receive a kickback.

If you suspect that you were taken advantage of by one of these scammers, report it to the police right away.

Saving Emergency Numbers

Carrying credit cards, identification, and copies of passports and emergency numbers is always a good idea if they are well-hidden.

Travel bags that you wear around your neck and under your shirt are easily accessible to you. Additionally, they can keep your most important belongings safe from pickpockets. If you are involved in an accident or have a medical emergency, this also makes it easier for first responders to identify you and contact your loved ones.

Before leaving home, print out phone numbers for your credit card companies and any emergency contacts you have back home. You should always have a copy of these numbers with you all the time. If you have any medical conditions or allergies, these should also be included in your notes.

With a little extra attention and preparedness, staying safe while you’re traveling is rather easy. If you simply notify appropriate parties, document and save your personal details, and avoid making yourself a target for pickpockets and scam artists, your travels will always result in an adventure to remember.

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How to Stay Strong and Extremely Resilient In Chaos

Despite avoiding the news and mainstream influence 90% of the time, I’m still aware that the world is in a state of chaos and that people are having a hard time finding peace in chaos. Especially in the United States’ political climate, we see ongoing negativity, reactivity, and ignorance.

We typically see chaos as a negative concept while order is preferred. With order there’s stability and predictability, thus we know we won’t be challenged. But of course, a challenge is important to an individual’s growth and most of us know that deep down.

The same goes for societies – they must be challenged to either grow or dismantle.

In nature, chaos is generally what happens before growth and change. While yes, chaos can cause an organism to die. However, it is stagnancy and repetition of old patterns that lead to death.

So, what does this mean for the individual who’s trying to stay sane in the midst of (what is often) other people’s chaos and pain?

Here are what I’ve found to be the two most useful actions to take:

Disconnect

NOTE: This does not mean give up. Disconnecting isn’t the same as becoming apathetic and complacent.

Disconnecting is an act of self-preservation and restoration. It simply means you are choosing to disconnect from the things that you know to be false. It could be anything that goes against peace, authenticity, etc.

This will probably include a lot of media.

You will need to take long breaks from the news, social media, and maybe even social events in which your friends/family relentlessly complain, argue, etc. By disconnecting, you claim back your power and separate yourself from the endless barrage of negativity – a lot of which is inflated and false.

You get comfortable in your own energy, without the TV blaring or a friend listing all the horrible things that happened that day. This is an especially critical practice for empaths who have trouble holding their own energy around others. Disconnecting doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you care enough to make a change.

Act from the Center

Once you’ve disconnected from the mainstream thought process, you can then have a genuine, positive impact. This is HUGE.

Why?

Because everyone else is so caught up in the struggle – the bickering, the wallowing, the insistence that “my way is the best way.”

In this state, chaos, inequality, and violence will continue to flourish indefinitely. The only thing that holds society together is individuals who step outside the thought stream and say, “here’s what I’m going to do to benefit people today.”

Period.

They act from their center because they’ve disconnected from the outside enough to hear their own voice. These people go on to start businesses, volunteer projects, fundraisers or even just bring their own families back to a place of stability. As a famous musician wrote, “they hold us at the center while the spiral unwinds.”

So, if you’re uncertain of what to do and wish you could have an impact during these times of chaos, try this and see what comes out of it. You might be surprised at how stepping back can actually save time and allow for greater productivity.

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How To Break Out Muscle Growth Plateau Like A Pro

Have you been working out but it seems like you have stopped seeing any progress? Don’t let this frustrate you. We’ve all gone through that at some point, whether it’s during training to lose weight or to build muscle.

A muscle growth plateau refers to the period when your body adapts to all the stress you put it through. It leads to slow or no progress after training.

If you have never reached one, consider yourself one of the few lucky ones. However, if you are already stuck in that phase, here’s how to overcome plateau.

Sometimes, bodyweight is the best

Do you remember when the last time you did push-ups or pull-ups was?

You probably can’t remember. We are so used to straining ourselves with lifting heavy weights and forgetting that our bodies can be used as a weapon, too.

Do more push-ups and pull-ups. These two exercises target almost all of your muscles and put tension in your entire body in a set period.

They make your body work harder, helping you unlock your strength and fitness potential. Another advantage of bodyweight training is that you can do the exercises anywhere.

Cross train

Our bodies adapt to any stress put on them quickly. While this could usually be a good thing, it also means that your body can adjust fast to the pressure you put it under during exercises. When you do the same workouts every day, your body will inevitably adapt to your routine.

Change up your equipment and exercises to challenge your body in different ways. For instance, if you usually bench press, try push-ups instead. Changing up your routine utilizes your muscles differently, helping you break out of the plateau.

Use supplements properly

Supplements are different and work in various ways. Not all of them will work for you. Because of that, identifying the best for your body type is vital.

Getting no results after working out can be frustrating and demoralizing. One of the main reasons people hit the growth plateau is due to not eating well. Although you usually work out at the gym, muscle growth doesn’t happen there.

It’s when you go home to eat and rest that it happens. So, eat foods rich in proteins to gain more muscles.

Sometimes, however, you need to fill the nutritional and energy gap caused by your workout. You can take supplements like L-glutamine, Branch chain amino acids(BCAAs), Omega-3 fish oil, and creatine. They give you an extra boost of energy and preserve your muscle mass.

Exert more effort than before

Another reason we hit growth plateaus is that you are not stressing your muscles enough. Try to train better today than you did yesterday. For instance, if you have been doing 3 sets of 4 reps in the bench press, increase that gradually to 4 sets or 5 sets.

You can also increase the frequency and length of your workouts. Any time you get some progress, celebrate the win no matter how small it is. A win gives you the motivation to keep working.

Change up the tempo

Want to get out of the rut you are stuck in?

You need to start exercising at varying intensity. If you have been doing specific exercises and you don’t want to change them, you can make a change in your program by changing the speed. According to research, doing your repetitions fast produces different results than slow reps.

Doing your reps fast increases your muscle strength while slow ones increase your muscle mass. It would be best to combine both fast and slow reps of exercises to get the most out of your workout. The varying speeds make the workout feel different and produce results.

Understanding hypertrophy

So, you want to gain muscles?

To understand how to do this, you need to understand what muscle hypertrophy is. It is an increase in the size of the muscles that change according to use. Muscle fiber increases in size due to training.

During the first months of exercising, you gain the most muscle mass. This decreases as months go by.

Hypertrophy is a response to mechanical load, but growth happens during your recovery times. Optimize all the ways you can achieve hypertrophy, which means more effective training, as well as observing proper nutrition and resting.

Do a complete 180 on everything

If something is not working for you, don’t be afraid to change things up. You are already stuck, what do you have to lose by changing?

Change your diet to a healthier one, change your workout schedule, and start a new one. Also, you could reverse the order you do your exercises.

When muscles exercise in a specific order, they get adapted to that. However, when you do the same activities but in a different order, the muscles react to them differently.

You can come up with a different schedule every few weeks to prevent your body from adapting to the changes.

Eliminate caffeine from your routine

How many people do you know are coffee addicts and can’t perform well during the day unless they have their daily dose of caffeine?

It is common knowledge that caffeine is one of the most popular stimulants. Mainly, it is taken in beverage forms, such as in coffee and tea. While the consumption of these may improve your workout to some extent, it still has some effects that may negatively affect you and prevent you from performing at an optimum condition.

Drinking caffeine every day can cause dehydration when performing intense workouts, fatigue, headaches, insomnia, and nervousness. Consuming too much caffeine has been known to increase a person’s heart rate as well as blood pressure, increasing one’s risk of heart attacks. Try to avoid the excessive consumption of caffeine.

See Also: How to Give Up Coffee and Caffeine Altogether

Rest, rest, rest

The saying ‘sleep is the best medicine’ is true. After those tiring workouts and all your other engagements every day, it is not surprising that your body will eventually give up.

Try to rest as much as possible. Sleep more than eight hours every day. You should try to eat foods rich in proteins before sleeping.

Protein synthesis occurs while we sleep. Amino acids found in proteins are essential for bodybuilding. They are even considered the body’s ‘building blocks’.

See Also: Get Strong, Sleep, Repeat: The Importance Of Sleeping

Conclusion

No challenge is too big for you to overcome. When you hit the muscle growth plateau, approach it as a challenge to find new ways to gain muscles.

The three main reasons why we get stuck are: excessive training, not having proper nutrition, and not stressing your muscles enough.

If you are in this situation, don’t get frustrated as most of us go through it at one point or another during training. Use the above tips and you will break out of the muscle growth plateau like a pro.

Author’s bio:
Herbert Sward is a fitness coach, a bodybuilder, and a blogger as well.
His mission is to make it simple for athletes to gain great body shape and achieve a positive mindset. He was a member of steroid and hormones testing programs. Currently blogging for https://steroidssaleguide.com/ web resource.

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How To Tell If You Or Someone You Love Is A Narcissist

We have all known that person, the one who monopolizes the conversations or seems to always have a flattering story to tell – always about themselves. Maybe, we listen politely for a bit and make a break for it as soon as we possibly can. Perhaps, we suffer silently while inwardly rolling our eyes.

But what if that person is you? Would you even know it?

Identifying narcissism in others is one thing. There are some glaring signs that we can all agree upon. However, identifying it in yourself can be more difficult.

Most narcissists have no idea that they fall into this category. They often view themselves as unique, special, outgoing or justifiably confident. What they don’t realize is that those views taken to the extreme can cause many problems in their relationships, work or even their family.

Why Narcissism Is Dangerous

Although narcissism can be a dangerous trait, it exists in all of us to some degree. In its most mild and most common form, it can be looked at as a desire to feel special. We can all relate to that on some level. Wanting to feel like there is something that makes us unique, interesting or desirable is completely normal.

For some, however, this goes far beyond the general desire to stand out. For certain people, narcissism can become so extreme that they can no longer relate to anyone around them. They feel they are in a category of greatness no one can understand. They may also assume that they are so unique that rules don’t apply to them or that they are more interesting and have far more to offer than anyone else.

The narcissist may become so intent on proving their superiority that they lie, manipulate or hurt those around them. They do these things in order to maintain the feeling that they are better and more worthy of admiration than anyone else. While these behaviors are destructive in and of themselves, they also have an impact that goes far beyond the day-to-day.

Relationships for someone with extreme narcissistic behavior are often either short-lived or unhealthy. A healthy relationship balances the needs of both partners with each respecting and appreciating the other. When your focus is completely on yourself, this isn’t possible. People in relationships with narcissists will often be used as a prop for the narcissist’s ego. This should prompt a swift end to a relationship because it often results in emotional and mental abuse.

Recognizing Narcissism

This isn’t really a fair question because almost everyone will answer no. None of us wants to feel like our behavior rises to that level. It is possible, however, that you are or someone you love is exhibiting narcissistic tendencies.

Consider the following questions when recognizing narcissism:

• Do you often feel like your decision-making skills are better than others?
• Do you override what others want because you are sure your desires/interests/plans are better?
• Are your achievements over-embellished?
• Do you often think, “they will thank me for this later” when you are doing things?
• Do you feel like you have an undiscovered talent and you are just biding your time until people see it?
• Are you a good listener or are you just waiting for someone to stop talking so that you can talk?
• Do you feel like you have a way to get around things you don’t like and that the rules don’t really apply to you?
• Do you expect to receive special treatment above others in the same situation?
• Are you looking forward to talking about your achievements?
• Do you always have an “I can do you one better” kind of story when others have talked about something?
• Do you reject criticism and feedback as being stupid or a product of other people’s jealousy of you?

If the answer to more than a couple of these questions is yes, you or the person you answered for could likely be classified as a narcissist.

Narcissism can be a disabling trait. It destroys friendships, romantic relationships, careers, and causes a great deal of personal pain and conflict. When a person finally comes to terms with the truth, it can be a difficult road to recovery.

If you recognize these behaviors in yourself or someone else, it is time to initiate change. For a narcissist, change is a big step in the right direction.

That change is possible but it won’t happen overnight. So, if you or someone you love is trying to make positive alterations, be patient. With time, effort, and a good support system it can be done.

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Challenges To The Business Of Hemp

In 2017, $820 million worth of legal hemp products were sold in the United States. Yes, you read that right – legal hemp.

From clothing and textiles to food and medicine, hemp has a long history of being a textile crop all over the world. However, it was only until recently that it has developed a bad reputation.

There’s confusion as to whether it is really a controlled substance according to the U.S. government, alongside its cousin marijuana.

History And Use of Hemp

In the early days of American colonization, hemp was an essential piece of the growing (no pun intended) economy. In fact, in the 17th century, Virginia passed a law requiring every farmer to grow hemp on their land. It was considered legal tender in Virginia, Pennsylvania, and Maryland.

By the 19th century, marijuana and hemp derivatives were a common ingredient in medicines. As recreation use increased, the laws started to take a very different turn. The final nail in the coffin came along in 1937. It’s when the Marijuana Tax Act banned hemp and marijuana cultivation completely. Today, it remains a controlled substance and the possession of which can carry felony charges.

For hemp and cannabis production, supplements are king. By 2021, the legal cannabis industry will be worth over $40 billion in the United States alone.

Used to treat a huge variety of conditions and symptoms, CBD – the non-psychoactive compound in cannabis – has shown surprising efficacy. It’s not the same as THC, the compound in marijuana cannabis that gets you high.

Rather, CBD offers many, but not all, of cannabis’ therapeutic effects without the high. Hemp seeds are another part of the hemp cannabis plant that offer a lot of benefits.

Hemp offers a wide variety of benefits:

• Use hemp seeds as a good source of protein and fibers, both soluble and insoluble for digestive health.
• Arginine and GLA content in hemp seeds may reduce the risk of heart disease.
• Omega-3 and Omega-6 content fatty acids help improve skin, acne, and even eczema.
• CBD supplements may treat conditions from anxiety, chronic pain to discomfort associated with cancer treatments

The Obstacles to Hemp Business

Smart business leaders in the hemp industry are pushing back against antiquated laws and unjust regulations. With the 2014 US Farm Bill, states received authorization at the Federal level to begin hemp cultivation programs on registered land and for growers.

In 2017 alone, over 1,400 licenses were issued to individuals to grow hemp. By then, there were farming locations across 19 states and covering 25,700 acres of land.

Because of the prohibition, those interested in growing hemp are having difficulty obtaining viable seeds from which to start. This isn’t the first time the United States government revisited their laws on hemp and marijuana out of economic necessity.

In the early 1940s, the Hemp for Victory program encouraged farmers to grow hemp. It was to supply rope and other necessary textiles to aid in the war effort. Today, hemp is a controlled substance which put legal growers at risk regardless of whether they think they are following the law.

Even when states grant explicit permission and permits, it is essential that growers and hemp-based business owners know their rights. Solutions like registering with the DEA and state-level defense for growers exist, but many laws need improvement on the federal level before taking effect.

• For farmers, entrepreneurs, and small business leaders, starting hemp production begins with the Agriculture Department application.
• Hemp is essential to over 25,000 products. Starting in this small and competitive market can lead to enormous profit.
• Remember that hemp is still classified as a narcotic with no accepted medicinal benefits and a high risk for abuse. Whether or not this is true, it’s still the law.
• Get to know your state laws concerning hemp when looking into obtaining a grow license; not all states are as progressive as Colorado.

Legalization of hemp and hemp products surges forward due to the demand for sustainable materials and the response from small businesses is overwhelming. Take a look at this infographic for more on the business of hemp, how small businesses are leading the fight to change laws, and promote environmental sustainability.

Source: Popularcbdbrands.com

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How to Avoid The Regret of Yesterday And The Fear of Tomorrow

“We look neither ahead nor backward. We look straight into the present.”

Stay in the present, be in the now, just for today.

We’ve heard those lines time and time again, but we still struggle to get hold of this life-changing concept.

Why? Why is it so hard to know how to stay in the present?

If we’ve been told that focusing on the present is the answer to all of our problems, then why do we find it so hard to do it?

Why do we insist on continually dragging ourselves back into the past or propelling ourselves forward into the future?

The answer is simple. It’s because it’s easy to say but not so easy to do!

So, here are 5 tips on how to stay in the present.

Focus on one thing and look at it with all of your might

I’m not talking about some random object like a pencil or a chair. Looking at that with all of your might would be pretty pointless and boring.

I mean something in nature. It could be a tree, a flower, your dog or your cat.

Stare at it with all of your might. Take every single tiny detail in.

If you’ve chosen to focus on a tree, watch how each leaf moves individually. Zoom in on the lines and texture of the bark and count how many different hues of green you can see. Listen to the tree whisper to you as the wind dances through the branches.

If you decided to gaze willfully at your pet, watch how its body moves gently as it breathes. Watch how it gazes so simply into space or how peacefully it sleeps. Focus on its nose and how it subtly twitches as it smells the world.

When you focus solely on something like that, you are being 100% at the moment and you won’t even realize it.

See Also: Feeling Stuck In a Rut? Here’s How to Change Your Focus

Do a guided meditation every day, just for 10 minutes

Come on now, it’s just ten minutes.

I don’t believe you are that busy that you can’t throw a quick 10-minute guided meditation into your day.

You don’t have to be a spiritual guru or a yogi in order to meditate. Anyone can do it and it really is the best way to center you into the present moment.

There are some brilliant meditation apps for your phone that make meditation quick and easy. Check out Calm or Headspace.

See Also: Benefits Of Meditation: How You Can Change Your Life In 10 Minutes

Watch the world like you’re watching a movie

When you are sitting on a train or a bus, sitting in a coffee shop or restaurant or even walking down the street, imagine yourself sitting in a movie theater.

Be absolutely still for a moment and just watch everything that is happening all around you in that very moment.

The movie is called ‘Life’ and it’s a fly on the wall documentary film.

It’s the quickest way to get out of your head and find your way straight back to the present.

Focus on the soles of your feet

A weird one I know, like my other four suggestions haven’t been somewhat odd.

If you find yourself feeling all kinds of yucky because you’re preoccupied with what happened yesterday or what’s going down tomorrow, just pause for a moment and focus on the soles of your feet.

Close your eyes and just zone in. Try and feel the soft skin on the soles of your feet without touching them with your hands. Simply use your concentration.

Feel the soles of your feet against your shoes or how they feel against the tiled floor or the grass between your toes. Pay attention to your toes, the arch of your foot, and the bottom of your heal.

Sounds weird but while zoning out on your feet, you’re actually being completely in the present moment. Your thoughts of yesterday and tomorrow have disappeared.

Dance

Dancing with abandonment is the best way to clear your head of overthinking and to just feel joy and pleasure right now.

I’m not saying you have to start dancing with abandonment in the middle of the supermarket or at the bus stop. However, if you have the courage to do that, then kudos to you.

No, I’m just suggesting you put some headphones on, lock your bedroom door, and just have a quick boogie to one of your favorite uplifting songs.

It’s impossible not to stay present when you’re strutting your stuff without a care in the world.

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How To Grow Your Startup

Starting your own business can be really exciting. It means earning your bread and butter on your own terms and at your own pace. Only, it isn’t as simple as that.

Recent years have seen a significant growth in entrepreneurs and new startups. According to research by Kauffman Foundation in 2016, around 6% of the US adult population owns a business as their main job.

The top reasons why people want to start their own business include:

• Money
• Independence in work
• Control over decision making
• Working with selected teams
• Leaving a legacy

However, just like working your way up a career, business development and growth takes time, effort, and indefinite amount of willpower.

Internal factors such as finances, time, and skill set play a major role in steering the direction of any business. External factors such as competition, government regulations, and resource availability matter as well.

The question is this:

What can you do to take your business to another level despite those factors?

Here are some tips on how to grow your startup:

Delegate

In the startup phase, new business owners tend to handle everything. This wastes a lot of time in doing tedious, administrative tasks. It’s time that can otherwise be used in coming up with creative ideas or expanding your skillset.

Unfortunately, 75% of all small businesses have zero employees which depict the resistance people have to delegating. You have to grow your business.

The trick is to hire people that can do such tasks for you. Although it may seem like it will cost extra, it will actually save you time for more constructive tasks.

See Also: Avoid Decision Fatigue: Learn The Steps for Effective Delegation

Pick your Battles

Research proves that planning well is critical for any business. However, don’t sweat the small stuff either.

For example, don’t dwell on finalizing your logo or packaging for a long time. Brands evolve and with that, logos and packaging change.

Hence, focus on revenue strategies, gaining customers, and making money.

Grant Cardone is an international sales expert, New York Times best-selling author, and radio show host of The Cardone Zone.

He says it best: “When you are hunting big game, don’t swat mosquitoes.”

Make it Measurable

Hicham Amine is the Head of Growth at Hidden Founders. Recently in an article, he mentions the importance of metrics. According to Amine, no startup can adopt a sustainable business model without occasionally pausing to get directions derived from examining the right metrics.

He manages this through a big screen in the center of his office hall that shows growth metrics and their progress on a daily basis. He also recommends picking a minimal set of key performance indicators (KPIs) that can be tracked and reported every day.

Stay Lean

Lean principles originate from the Japanese manufacturing industry. The term Lean was initially coined by John Krafcik in his 1988 article, “Triumph of the Lean Production System”.

The main elements of the Lean concept comprise focusing increasing value, process simplification, removing wastes, and the 5 Whys.

Marcio Cyrillo is head of mobile services and senior business manager at Ci&T, a software product engineering company. It delivers application services using lean principles and agile methodologies.

Cyrillo recommends the following 5 S’s to incorporate Lean into your business development.

Sort: Make workspace clean and organized.

Set in Order: Organize everything in a work area.

Shine: Clean regularly.

Standardize: Make it easy to maintain, simplify and standardize.

Sustain: Continue the process.

Be Ready for Change

Change is inevitable. However, according to Ehsan Jahandarpour, it can be your greatest ally. Jahandarpour is a startup coach and growth hacker and has helped companies like Microsoft, PETRONAS, and BBDO grow their business.

He simplifies it by saying, “General rule of thumb — never fall in love with your first business model”.

A change management expert and author, Ron Ashkenas of Schaffer Consulting reinforces this by declaring the ability to change as a main competitive advantage. Ashkenas says that small businesses have an edge over large ones through the ability to quickly innovate and respond to changing customer needs.

Therefore, be ready to embrace change.

Use a Project Management Tool

Project management tools have evolved over time. Multiple project management frameworks and applications float the Internet ready to be discovered and utilized.

These tools can simplify planning, designing, and managing your work without the need to employ extra staff and without draining yourself of energy at the same time.

Unfortunately, 44% of project managers use no software, even though Pricewaterhouse Coopers found that the use of commercially available PM software increases performance and satisfaction.

Online task management tools such as Wrike, Jira, and nTask make a project and team management a breeze. You have control over the progress flow with easily readable yet comprehensive project and team tracking tools. Plus, your work is secure and organized so it can easily be tracked.

Would you like to share any tips for entrepreneurs and startups? Talk to us in the comments below.

See Also: Six Golden Rules for Successful Project Management You Need to Know

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How To Crush Uncertainty And Realize Your Dreams

You know the feeling.

You have a dream or maybe a plan. You’ve been at it for quite some time now. Weeks, months or maybe years.

And yet, the dream hasn’t come true yet. In fact, you feel farther from your goal than ever before.

Doubtful thoughts mess with your head in an infinite loop.

What is it that you’re missing?

Are you not smart enough? Is it about luck? Are you too young/old for this?

You feel you know what it takes to make your dream come true, but what if you’re wrong?

Maybe you’re wrong in thinking that you know how to do this.

And that’s exactly what is holding you back.

The Hidden Failure Of Conventional Wisdom

You’ve heard the advice.

Believe in yourself.

Focus.

Keep a positive attitude.

Never give up.

Whatever your goal is, if you follow all of those, you should be able to achieve your goals, right?

Wrong.

Here’s why.

Imagine you’ve come to a new city. You do not know what places to explore. So, you use a map to guide yourself.

Except, it’s the wrong map.

No matter how much you search for a place, the map will always mislead you. You can keep a positive attitude, reaffirm your self-belief, and try as hard as you can. It wouldn’t get you any closer to your destination.

Unless you realize you have the wrong map, the only place you’ll reach is frustration.

Why Most People Fail To Achieve Their Goals

You learn from life experiences. Take a moment and think about all the things you know today.

If your father is a software engineer, you probably started to code at a very young age. If your uncle is a professional painter, you would know the different color combinations and brush strokes.

In short, your life experiences have been a source of knowledge.

But here’s the problem.

Your life experiences are limited. So, the things you learn are also limited.

What happens when your goal lies outside your life experience?

What if you want to build a business when everyone in your family has had traditional jobs? How to be a creative writer when the only people around you are corporate buddies?

How to make up for what you do not know?

You do the obvious.

You guess what will work and hope that you’re right.

Usually, you’re wrong.

See Also: Your Ability To Fail Without Fear Is A Requirement To Reach Your Goals

What Does It Really Take To Succeed?

Two reasons why the successful achieve their goals:

• They know things that you don’t know.
• They do things that you don’t do.

If you study the methods of successful people, it becomes obvious that their approach is unique and counter-intuitive.

More specifically, it’s counter-intuitive to your guesses, because you don’t understand things the way they do.

Here’s a personal example.

Years ago, I started a blog without knowing much about it.

I guessed that I should start a WordPress website and write as well as I can. The readers will happily show up on their own.

What I just described is the fantasy of every blogger on this planet.

Unfortunately, it’s merely a fantasy. It never happens this way.

Today, we have hundreds of thousands of blogs. With so many options for a reader, I’ll probably get lost in the crowd of average bloggers, even if I was really good.

It wasn’t just about writing good content and hoping people to show up. I needed to find my readers and bring them to my blog. I have to learn about them and produce my best work that actually helps them. Apart from that, I should do this consistently and exactly in this order.

See Also: 5 Habits Of Successful People You Should Be Following Today

How To Not Waste Years In Making Silly Mistakes

The real reason you fail at goals is that you have no idea of what it takes- at least initially.

And if you rely on personal experiences, you’ll have to make tons of mistakes and take years to learn what works.

How to learn about things that you’ve not experienced?

“Proactive Learning”.

You learn how to “avoid” making mistakes. You realize the common pitfalls ahead and prepare in advance.

Why wait to learn from mistakes when you can find and avoid them in advance?

You may feel that avoiding all mistakes is not possible. We all falter and that is true.

However, do you really have to make all the mistakes that most people make all the time?

Instead of making 100 common mistakes, would it not make sense to avoid 90 by being proactive? Just because a person walking ahead of you fell into a hole doesn’t mean that you should, too.

Simply walk around it.

Go Back To First Grade

I know what you’re thinking.

“All this sounds great. Sure, it would be great to avoid mistakes instead of making them. But we realize our mistakes after we’ve made them. How to predict mistakes before making them?”

To answer the above question, you need to answer this first:

Who knows more about building a profitable business?

A businessman earning huge profits or an employee of an organization?

It’s obvious.

It’s the businessman.

He knows how to build a business. He’s done this for years now. He made some mistakes along the way but finally, he is successful.

He knows this game.

If you seek his help, he will show you the right way. He’ll tell you what steps to take. He’ll explain what mistakes most beginners make and how you can avoid them.

His lessons can be the difference between your business thriving or turning to dust.

This question points to an important truth.

99% of people never do much in life. So, when they hear about your dream, the best they can do is discourage you. They’ll call you mad for believing in something big.

But there’s also the 1% that actually make progress, achieve dreams, and realize their aspirations.

These people want you to trust in your dream just like they did. These people don’t want you to give up just like how they didn’t. They want you to succeed just like they did because they know it’s possible.

Your job is to become deaf to the 99% and learn from the 1%.

Not everyone’s opinion matters.

Become A Zen Student Of Success

By now you must have realized:

1. If you chase your dreams on your own, it’ll take you years before you make it (you can still do it though).
2. You can save years of effort and time if you learn from successful people.

But, you may still be wondering.

How to learn from the successful?

These people are extremely busy. Bill Gates isn’t sitting close to his phone, waiting excitedly for your call so that he can teach you his Microsoft secret.

The answer.

You live in the Information Age.

There are books, interviews, audio podcasts, and so much more out there. You can sign up for premium courses. A little research can find you plenty of resources to help you understand their methods and philosophies.

You want to understand what they know and how they act based on that knowledge. You’re looking to avoid the mistakes which they’ve made when they started out. You’re looking to succeed without falling into the traps that kept them stuck.

As you pursue proactive learning, you’ll begin to see the following benefits:

1. Stronger self-belief – Learning from the successful will give you success stories affirming that you’re not crazy in chasing your dreams. Their stories prove it’s possible.
2. Better Focus – When you’re unsure of your plan, you keep wondering if you’ve made the wrong plan. Proactive learning gives you better focus because you know it will work.
3. Better Planning – You know you’re learning from the best, so your plan is bulletproof. It has worked earlier and will probably work for you, too.

Rise Of The Superhero In You

So, now you know.

You know exactly how to find what it takes to succeed.

Like Luke Skywalker, you will blast the Death Star of self-doubtful thoughts. There is “A New Hope”.

You’re free.

It’s not about being smart, lucky or having the right age. It’s about finding what actually works in real life and then doing it.

You no longer have to guess. By learning from the successful, you will know exactly what to do and what mistakes to avoid. No way are you falling for those traps again.

Like an expert driver avoiding most bumps on the road, the way to your dreams will be one pleasant ride.

Buy that book on business principles. Sign up for that writing course. Book that coaching session with your ideal teacher.

Your goal is no longer lost in some distant future. It’s coming true right now. Every action you take is in the right direction.

You’ve found the right map.

Now, your beliefs, attitudes, and focus will skyrocket your growth.

Go live your dream.

The post How To Crush Uncertainty And Realize Your Dreams appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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9 Signs You Are Doing Your Email Marketing Wrong

Email marketing remains one of the most effective instruments when it comes to establishing a direct line of communication to the target audience. In fact, even one perfectly polished electronic letter can turn an addressee into a customer and drive sales. Even more, it also can help to boost brand loyalty and take a company to the next level.

If you realize that your email marketing campaign isn’t bringing the expected results, check the list below for the most common email marketing mistakes. It’s never too late to improve your strategy.

You don’t know your target audience well enough

When you compose an email, you should clearly understand who will read it.

What are the age, gender, ethnicity, and preferences of your target audience? What do your prospective customers know about your brand today? Additionally, what kind of information would they like to get in the future?

Without the answers to these questions, you will not be able to create a valuable message to impress your target audience. Moreover, you will not be able to define which writing style and tone of voice will appeal to them the most.

In other words, if you want to do your email marketing right, you should start with a detailed marketing research.

Email is too long and unstructured

Modern people are too busy to spend time reading extremely long texts. If an addressee clicks a subject line and sees more than 5 paragraphs, he’ll immediately close or delete the email.

Clients are ready to spend only 2 minutes to review the text, so every letter should have a very clear structure.

It would be great if you can split the text into 2 to 4 paragraphs with each paragraph consisting of 2 to 3 sentences each. Total word count of the email shouldn’t exceed 150 words. It’s more than enough to express major ideas and grab the client’s attention.

Start your message from the salutation and then go straight to the point. State your offer and then go into the details. You can end your letter with a short closing paragraph, reminding your customer on how valuable he is to a company.

You compose an ineffective subject line

If you want to increase the open rate of your email, you should come up with an interesting yet relevant subject line. A customer should clearly understand why he should read this very letter: to get a discount, learn more about the new promotional campaign, take part in a survey, review a product, etc.

The problem is that some marketers try to come up with a unique subject line, forgetting that it must correspond with a core message. When customers are overloaded with such super creative yet meaningless letters, they consider them as spam.

Consequently, clients start losing their trust in the brand.

You improperly use CTA

If your letter doesn’t contain any call to actions, it’s unlikely that your marketing campaign will bring positive results. You should prompt your target audience what to do after reading an email. Depending on your goal, you can invite addressee to complete the following actions: to add a product to the cart, shop, sign up, etc.

Moreover, your letter should contain only one call-to-action button. When you use two or more different CTAs, customers feel confused and won’t click any links at all.

Take a look at a great example created by Avast. This email includes valuable information and only one CTA. As a result, most of the users clearly understood the message and pushed “Keep my Avast account” button. It’s not a surprise that the click-through rate of this email marketing campaign was extremely high.

Screenshot source: private email received from Avast

You don’t proofread your emails

If you value the reputation of your company, you should proofread every email carefully. Letter, which is full of typos and spelling mistakes, can affect the customers’ confidence in your brand and your company.

You should check that every word, comma, and dot is used correctly. You should proofread text at least twice to make sure that your email is perfect. Also, you can ask your co-workers or utilize professional proofreading services to help you.

Email marketing doesn’t match your branding strategy

Email marketing is a part of your branding strategy, so it should correspond with the company’s core values and vision. However, it happens that some marketers forget this simple rule and create emails which contradict their business concept.

For instance, a company, which produces the exclusive luxury furniture, has no right to communicate with the wealthy customers in an informal language. Even more, this enterprise should give up utilizing the standard email templates and design unique fancy layouts. Every single letter should support the brand image.

See Also: Why You Should Consider Email Marketing

You don’t personalize your message

Every client wants to feel special and want to get exclusive offers. With the help of today’s advanced technologies, you can collect clients’ private data and use it for crafting personalized emails. You can start your letter with the addressee’s name or make a unique proposal based on his recent browsing history.

For instance, company CheapOair sent an email that offered to save up to $25 on air tickets from Guatemala to Cancun which a customer had been looking for. It’s more likely that the client will use this promo code to book a flight if it really matches his upcoming traveling plans.

Screenshot source: private email received from CheapOair

Email doesn’t contain any visual elements

The perception of visual information flows faster and more effectively, comparing to the perception of text and speech. For this reason, emails which include eye-catching pictures bring better results.

A customer needs just 3 seconds to look through a content and make a decision to delete an email. So, it’s very important to add an image which will grab the client’s attention and encourage him to read the core message attentively.

Depending on the peculiarities of your email marketing campaign, you can use photos, illustrations, gifs, infographics, quotes, charts or any other relevant visual elements.

You don’t set clear goals

Before launching an email marketing campaign, you should set concrete measurable goals, which you would like to achieve. Otherwise, you will not be able to measure the results of your hard work.

You should not only define the desirable levels of open rate and click-through rate but also ROI. You should clearly understand whether email marketing is effective for your business or not. There are many other channels you can use to promote your product. Be sure that you have distributed your marketing budget wisely.

In conclusion

If you have just found out that you do your email marketing wrong, please don’t panic.

Now that you know the possible root of the problem, you can find an effective solution. In fact, you are halfway to success!

Learn from your mistakes and improve your current strategy. If you feel that you should change everything about your approach to email marketing, feel free to start a new campaign from scratch.

The post 9 Signs You Are Doing Your Email Marketing Wrong appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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